Q. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A. Make me one with everything.

***

Q. Why did Jesus really die on the cross?
A. He forgot his safeword.

***

Descartes walked into his favorite bar. The bartender asked, “The usual, Monsieur Descartes?” To which Descartes replied, “I think not.” And POOF! He disappeared.

***

Q. Why are blonde jokes always so short?
A. So brunettes can understand them.

***

Q. What does an insomniac-agnostic-dyslexic do at night?
A. Lie awake–wondering about the existence of dog.

***

The Dalai Lama is visiting New York, and stops at a hot dog cart. “Make me one with everything,” he tells the vendor.

The vendor says nothing, but simply makes the hot dog and hands it to the Dalai Lama, who then gives the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor pockets the bill and turns away.

“Excuse me,” says the Dalai Lama, “but I gave you a twenty. Where is my change?”

“Surely Your Holiness knows,” replies the vendor, “that change comes from within.”

***

Q. What do you get when you cross an athiest with a Jehovah’s Witness?
A. Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

***