….er, email, anyway.

That these missives are delivered electronically via cyberspace rather than the old fashioned way is probably a good thing. After all, don’t want any spontaneous combustion harming any of our dear postal workers. Which would give a whole new meaning to “going postal.”

Women usually write to encourage, compliment, attack, commiserate or request a link exchange. I like getting mail from women. I really do. Affirmation and advocacy from one’s peers is a wonderful thing.

Except for the mysterious Delicious Dee Dee who thinks I am someone from her past, who worked with her at a PSO postion down south somewhere. Which I’m not, nor did I. But she’s written to me three times now asking me if I’m sure.

For the fourth time: Dee Dee, I AM SURE. Stop emailing me and return to your regularly scheduled life.

Men usually write requesting introductory discounts or wanting to know if I will do a certain fantasy. As far as the discounts go: My regular callers get many perks and benefits, which I believe are generous and plentiful. Until I get to know someone and see what type of “relationship” will develop between us, I keep the discounts in my pocket. So keep your dirty little hands out of there and pick up the phone. Also, I usually run a monthly special which can be found at Literate Smut.

I don’t mind receiving requests regarding specific fantasies. In fact, I appreciate them if they are brief and to the point. But some requests are absolutely ridiculous in that they send five, seven, even ten paragraphs describing every minute detail. Which, quite frankly, is a major turn-off for me. I want us to explore together, creating the scene as a collaborative experience. Too many details painted in ahead of time destroys that possibility…at least for me.

Then there are the guys who send me their phone numbers, telling me that they are so hot I should be paying them. Really? Then why aren’t you busy answering that phone that must be ringing off the hook, rather than wasting your time writing to me?

Guys also send me fantasies they’ve written and want me to publish at my website, which I won’t do, because it’s my website. They can get their own.

And we can’t forget the guys who attach pictures of their dicks. Do they think I don’t know what one looks like? Whatever their reason, I wish they would top doing that. I am not impressed.

Can I go to bed now? I’m reading a really good book and it is calling to me. Can you hear it?

xo

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 1st, 2006 at 10:53 pm and is filed under Funny Side Up, Rhetorically Yours. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.