 | Unexpected Turn Ons, Part I |
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What gets one’s motor cranking can be utterly surprising at times. Both my own motor and those of the men with whom I dally via the phones. I was just talking with someone about this and thought I’d bring it to Zen Fetish. Maybe it will enlighten. Maybe it will befuddle. Maybe it will be boring. Readers choice….I guess.
While I prefer sensually and even bizarre domination fantasies when doing calls and even occasionally masturbate to them, they are not the predominate fantasy of my private moments. I actually enjoy being controlled when it’s all happening in my head. And in my real-life sexcapades I prefer mostly vanilla with a smidgeon of kink here-and-there to spice it up. (Read more about that here: Mind Fiction.)
To my way of thinking, the key ingredient to an intense, over-the-top, mind-blowing orgasm is the feeling of a loss of control. We either lose it, or cause our partner to lose it. We all have certain buttons, phrases, fetishes, words, scenarios which personally represent this loss of control to us. Just a few examples:
- Being called daddy’s dirty little girl. (submissive female)
- Insertion of unusual objects into orafices. (dirty)
- Elaborate bondage of female. (dominant male)
- Public sex. (taboo)
- Spanking. (naughty)
- Controlled masturbation. (submissive male)
Fantasies are unique to each individual and some are downright astounding:
- evil tickling
- sneezing
- balloons
- peeing (on masturbator or on floor or on self)
- giant female (shrinking male)
- wrestling
- catfights
What I wish most is that we would learn to embrace our fantasies…and to not judge someone elses. Shame is not a good thing–either to feel or to inflict upon others. And if we think our fantasies are sick and prove some type of character flaw within our selves…well, then we are fucked! Because fantasies don’t go away and we are damning ourselves with our very own lack of self-acceptance.
Stay tuned for Part II.
xo
I wouldn’t call myself a “polyfetishist” if my mind wasn’t heavily stocked in fantasies.
That loss of control or – what I think of for myself – loss of sense of self is exactly the experience I’m always hoping to get from erotic experiences. Isn’t all that easy.
Oddly I’ve never connected physical orgasm with my submissive side. It isn’t orgasm denial. From boyhood on I never imagined having an orgasm (or having one supressed) during my torrid BDSM dreams.
Alexandra likes giantess fantasies a lot. I’ve never made the connection. Since I’m 6’3″ I do sometimes wish one of us could change height but only for several inches so she’d be taller. The idea of looking up at her (while standing) seems very sexy.
To each his/her own. We are judged enough without judging ourselves as well.