 | Jerking to the Stars |
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As you should know by now, it isn’t often that I write about my callers. I am very serious about client confidentiality and keeping my callers safe…even though they sometimes prefer I didn’t (that would be in the instance of Consensual Sexual Blackmail–to be addressed in a later entry). But then there is David Webb.
David Webb is, of course, an alias. Mr. Webb may be a pervert, but he certainly is no dummy. Like any healthy American male (and female, dontcha know?), Mr. Webb likes to masturbate. In fact he likes to masturbate a lot.
But David does it a little differently. It’s sorta like the in-famous jerking to the famous…with a twist. The twist being that Mr. Web specifically tugs his tube to a certain faction of the glitterati which includes cheerleaders, news and anchor women, a smidgen of starlets, and a sprinkle of porn stars. And even a few women from his real life. What type of fantasies fuel his jerk-off jubilees? Here’s one with Ricki Lake starring as David’s Sex Ed Teacher.
What put the tick in this man’s ticktock? Frankly, I’m still trying to figure him out. Soft-spoken and polite, David is incredibly sweet natured. But he is stroking from the minute I pick up the phone. We could be talking about the weather or sports — it doesn’t matter to him. I am pretty sure it turns him on that me or some other PSO — my impression is that he talks to quite a few — “catches” him “doing it.” He wants someone to know; after all it isn’t like he is going to get any feedback from the current object of his, *ahem* affection.
I am not being the least bit transpontine in saying that Mr. Webb is somewhat of an uber pervert in that, although there is a demographic of men who fantasize about famous women, he has to be the only guy who regularly spanks his monkey to the morning news. He actually has a “line-up” he watches before going to the office. In fact, you can track exactly how, when and why he “did it” at Kitten Hate, a site I suggested he join which tracks members’ orgasms, where he has is very own page. In his first three days as a member, he’d chalked up fifteen solo orgasms, tripping the light fantastic with Portia de Rossi, Robin Meade and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders Squad, among others. Lots of others.
Crediting Gillian Anderson as his muse (he took to heart her response to an interviewer’s rather innocuous question: “Y’know, whatever gets your rocks off, as far as I’m concerned. It doesn’t bother me. If I felt it was actually harming anybody, I might say something about it. But from what I understand, it’s not. It’s just people having fun and getting off. Besides, I have no control over it anyway.”), our Spew Master even started a Yahoo group, Celebrity Masturbation, which, while no longer active, has spawned a plethora of yikes!-minded groups, blogs, message boards and forums.
Although my meter is fantasy, Mr. Web obviously marches to the beat (beat it, beat it, beat it) of a different drum. He really doesn’t let me weave one of my fantastically dirty chimeras when we talk, opting instead to tell me what’s UP with him, if ya know what I mean. It is a most interesting conversation and I must say –due to his always charming and pleasant demeanor– one I look forward to.
I may be interviewing David Web soon. I am fond of him and he greatly intrigues me.
News at Eleven. (wink)
xo, Angela
Mr. Webb’s kink intrigues me. After all, a kind of office sexiness is everywhere on TV news. I mean, with the exception of O’Reilly and a few of the male anchors, Fox news is aptly named. So I say lets spin off an annual award show for the most, ahem, decorated, image on TV news. It could be the jerky, the golden rod, the cumantator…I don’t know…..
Thank goodness for anonymity. I have to confess that having Katie Couric’s crooked smile wrapped around my member would be amazing.
Angela: Thank you for portraying me as someone with a charming and pleasant demeanor. I thought I’d write a little something to those who wonder what makes me tick. For me, an important part of sexual arousal comes from communication. In the case of the women I talk to on the phone, simple small talk like the weather or sports helps make me feel comfortable in the conversation which leads to my opening up about all the sexual feelings and fantasies that in every other situation would be considered inappropriate conversation topics due to societies norms. The comfort of talking to someone is what fuels my arousal. This is what most PSO’s just don’t get. Breathing heavy, moaning and talking dirty are really useless unless put in the proper context. There’s no physical contact in phone sex like there is if a man were to have hired a prostitute so the connection has to be on another level. The best example I can illustrate of this is the Steven Soderberg movie “Sex Lies and Videotape”. Again, thanks Angela for a kindly worded profile on me.
I think what we have here is a jerk-a-holic.
But hey, different STROKES for different folks. In fact, maybe Mr. Webb is onto something here. I’m going to go watch the evening news and get back to you on this.
Dearest Angela, you DO know the most interesting people. But I have to say, after looking over David Webb’s blog and his page at Kitten Hate, he sure knows how to pick ’em.
Thank you Mr. Smith
Am I the only person on this planet that still doesn’t have a blog?
I really liked the Riki Lake story. Actually, Miss Angela does a very good teacher fantasy along these same lines.
And thank you, David Webb, for letting us get to know you a little bit. Personally I wouldn’t have the balls. And if I did, Miss Angela would take them from me.
Angela is a nice woman to talk to and I enjoy our conversations. I know I don’t let her do her scenarios when we talk, primarily because I feel comfortable enough on the phone with her where I can let my defenses down and open up a little. Yes, I have certain kinks and things that turn me on and it is nice to be able to express them in an environment that I feel to be safe. There is more to me than what’s on the written page here, but I leave those mysteries for those who have an interest in IMing me or talking to me on the phone. I will share this thought: regardless of my kinks and tweaks, deep down inside I’m a nice guy with a kind and warm heart (for those women reading who would ever be interested in getting to know me better).
I think I can really relate to Mr. Webb. There was a meteorologist on The Weather Channel that used to put some steam in my step every time she was on. Hubba hubba.
“Transpontine?” How can I indulge myself a la Mr. Webb with a Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary in my lap?
Thanks, Angela, for a warm and delicate inroduction to what makes some among us tick.
Ya know, I can totally relate to Mr. Webb’s like here! While much older than myself, I had a mad crush on Tom Brokaw. And, let’s not forget Matt Lauer, Shep Smith, Stone Phillips…the list is endless! Sure, I have gotten a little naughty in my very open mind will all of the aforementioned…
Hmmm… I sure do miss Mr. Brokaw!
Great entry, Ang! I was cracking up over here when I read the title… absolute classic, “Jerking to the Stars”!
I hope that you are well, chica!
Sure, I have gotten a little naughty in my very open mind WITH all of the aforementioned…
(Sorry, forgot to proof…)
“News at Eleven”
Very funny.
This topic raises the interesting question of which famous ladies we find attractive enough to be arousing. My fantasies (when I’m not talking to Angela, of course!) often are about Demi Moore and Jamie Curtis. I guess, unlike David Webb, I’m not into “Public Affairs.”
Great thread, this!
Demi Moore and Jamie Lee Curtis are both on my list. I’ll have to post an updated list on my blog sometime soon.
Here’s what you can call version 2.0 of the blog if anybody wants to read: http://celebrity-fantasies.blogspot.com/
Don’t ask why. It is a long story.