 | Happy St. Paddy’s Day |
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How about some limericks (in lieu of green beer) to celebrate the day. Tom Allen of The Edge of Vanilla asks: Breathes there a man (or woman) with soul so dead that they can’t appreciate a good limerick? So here are a few created by the very man himself, starring some people you just might know (though he’s never written one about me — can ya believe it?):
A brash dominatrix named Jones
Would reduce all her boyfriends to moans
By her erotical knowledge
(not acquired in college)
Of painful erogenous zones.
***
A new dominatrix named Kate
Was breaking a new subby-mate;
When she asked how he fared
he said he was scared,
But her caning technique was first-rate.
***
Gillette, a hard-working hooker
Was such an enchanting good looker,
There were fights ‘mongst the fuzz
Over whose turn it was
To pinch her, and frisk her, and book her.
Now Mr. Allen is rather self-deprecating when it comes to his talent. But I think those are pretty damn good. I surely can’t even begin to write limericks. Although, in my defense, I will say that the writing of limericks is pretty much a man’s game, at least most of the time. You can read more of Tom’s kinky lil’ compositions by clicking here.
But wait! Once upon a time in Kitten Land, I actually did have a few limericks written just for me:
Here is a limerick written
By a reader who finds himself smitten
By Angela’s prose
And the passion she shows
In the things that she writes for sex-kitten.
In person, her talk must be racy.
Her underwear, no doubt, is lacy.
But sexier still
Are the words from her quill,
Which she publishes now, thanks to Gracie.
Some people like leather, I’ve heard.
By some, domination’s preferred.
But for me, more exciting
Is Angela’s writing:
The brain tease, the mind fuck, the word!
***
A cyber pussy so many adore
Created a site with class galore
By enlisting the greatest minds of Eros
She challenged these sensual heroes
with inkfilled sabers to extoll
and with cerebral words cajole
A readership of sextelligentsia
***
There once was the EclecticPearl…..
whose ways made his mind just swirl….
She’d whisper such smut,
t’would twitch mind and butt….
soon making his toes slowly curl!!!
Okay, so maybe my guys kinda-sorta broke the rules a little bit, but they showed up in fine spirit and with much gusto did the job. Isn’t that just about as Irish as you can get?
Top of the Even’n to ya!
xo, Angela
(though he’s never written one about me – can ya believe it?):
::blink blink::
::pulls out quill pen and foolscap::
Our courtesan, Angela St. Lawrence,
Took a holiday trip up to Florence.
She met a Viking from Thule
with a vibrating tool;
And both of them came gushing in torrents.
Sorry, best I could do on short notice!
Nice work Mr. Allen! Loved the limericks.
On behalf of us all, I assert
That Angie’s our favorite flirt.
You have heart, you love kink,
You can talk, you can think.
If you only were mine! Would thou wirt!
Now this was fun to wake up to today. Tom Allen wrote me a limerick! PQS made one of his rare appearances! And the beloved Bard himself wrote me er, ah … a five line sonnet?
You guys have tickled me pink. Thanks so much.
There once was a lass quite appealing.
Who rejoiced in a dominant feeling.
“The men I select
Are impressive erect,
But it thrills me most when they are kneeling.”
Happy St Patrick’s Day, Mistress.
Okay, I guess this means I will have to start a limerick page.
A day or two after St. Patrick
Angie offered a story theatric.
She wove and she spun
And when she was done
I had made it three times! That’s a hat trick!
Well, I’m late. But I never was much good at limericks anyway. Will you take a rain check? I’m astounded by the talented men who show up at this blog. Good work, guys.
Well, the creative gauntlet has been thrown down and I am, alas, unarmed. First, another great bit of entertainment and art from Angela. But if anyone wants to know the life cycle of 4 leaf clovers, then I’m your guy.
Applause!