Read and enjoy and then I’ll explain: 

(Craigslist ad)

SEXY ASIAN DOMINA’S SENSUAL PLAYGROUND – w4m

Busty asian temptress wants to wrap you in her spell and use her unique style of sensual torment which is perfect for the inexperienced as well as those seeking more extreme. My specialties are sensual roleplay. Come feel my ropes and lets play with my toys on you as you submit to my will and experience role reversal.

I have a female submissive as well for our experimentation. Double Mistress sessions are also available with advance notice….Double your torment and pleasure.

Come experience from one of London’s best. Incall and outcall are available.

Dave’s e-mail:

Hello Domina,

I need punishment! I want to read my poetry to you and then you punish me for their lack of quality. Here´s a poem I wrote for you, tell me what you think: 

Beat me up nonstop

You are a busty domina
I may come over to see ya
Beat me up and whip my ass
Make me take your masterclass

Her reply:

you have my phone number from the ad.  call to arrange
a session.

Conclusion:

Firm and businesslike, no comment about the poem. I guess this is what one can expect from a popular domina?

****

Found via Pervscan wherein Supervert  was editorializing on the Craigslist vs. Prostitutes controversy currently in the news. 

Our cherished Zen Savant ended with a Shout Out to Dave’s Little Book of Prostitute Poetry, which is just  frickin hilarious.

Dave — of Downloading Porn with Davo — was doing some traveling last year and used his down time to scan the Erotic Services section at Craigslist.  He answered quite a few of the ads, including a  snippet of self-writ doggerel along with the email.   Lucky for us, he documented what transpired. 

I would bet if a girl would have answered in kind — a humorous haiku, for example — she would have caught his attention and nailed down his business in a heartbeat.

…and to Dave:  It is my experience (admittedly limited to observation rather than field study) that, as you so astutely observed, many Dominas strike this aloof tone, mistakenly believing it  adds to their "superior mystique."    While — as your own experience  proved — what actually occurs is a cessation of communication.  Because, really now, after such a cool (and uninspired) response, where does a guy go?  May I suggest that the next time you are seriously looking for a Maitresse — who can kick your ass while leaving a smile on you face — check out Mistress Matisse.  She’s sexy, smart and — what a concept! — friendly. 

… and again to Dave:  You are absolutely right when you say:  "These women get lots of e-mails and consider many of the men who write them as time-wasters."   This I DO know from personal experience.  In the PSO industry we Phone Sex FemDoms call the kinda guy you describe as a WANKER.  And, in our defense, it does get tedious.  Personally, I  find it very disrespectful of these guys.  Then again, we are the "professionals" and need to rise above the mundane and "act as if."  At least until are darker suspicions are validated. 

… and for Dave:                          

wish I’d been hangin’ at craig’s, honey
when you were lookin’ to spend some whore money

the rest of this verse holds no mystery:
you and i’d have made craigslist history

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 13th, 2008 at 3:41 pm and is filed under Bad Boys Gone Good, femdom phone sex, Funny Side Up, Good Girls Gone Bad, Rhetorically Yours. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.