 | Creative Puns |
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Picture Credit: Toothpaste for Dinner
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder — and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana..
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall — the police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."
14. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger — then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: Keep off the Grass.
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse told her, "No change yet."
17. A chicken crossing the road — is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison — was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray — is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet — writes inverse.
21. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion..
23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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Lest you forget ~ I have a way with words too.
I have a way with Dirty words:
Conjugated Naughtiness. Punctuated Deviance. Grammatical Impuri-tease. Personified Debauchery. Stylized Kink.
Just move those sticky fingers and CLICK Right HERE
I was hoping that one of the first ten puns would qualify for my humor contest.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Tom Allen: touche
And very good! You have a certain creative way with words, for sure.
Thank you, Mistress. I groaned and groaned under this new form of punishment.
onaleash4u: lolol Wait until I drag out the limericks. Make no mistake, slaveboy! I do have them somewhere around here.
“There once was a sexy young flirt
Who was witty and wordy and pert.
She had so much fun
With a terrible pun
That I laughed and I laughed ’til I hurt.”
booklover35: ewe r so cute
Like her writing, Angela’s sense of humour is … pungent.
“A pun at maturity is fully groan.”
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
Although Nobelists tend to have dynamite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
Why was the ink drop sad? Because her dad was in the pen and she didn’t know how long the sentence would be!
Enough!