Well, there’s my way to do it, which includes writing dirty stories, talking dirty on the phone and featuring hot writers such as Jerotic,  Pervert Savant, Sabrina Morgan, The Provocateur, Submissive Savant and Porno Person.   

Then there’s the kind of Smut Slinging which is downright nasty and makes me glad after all that I’m not famous — that I’m just here in my own little corner of the Internet, doing my own quiet, little thing my own dirty little way:

Writers on other Writers

“I have tried lately to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me." − Charles Darwin

"Jonathan Swift was a monster gibbering shrieks, and gnashing imprecations against mankind, …" − William Thackeray

"Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel organ is to music" − William Thackeray

"Shelley should not be read, but inhaled through a gas pipe" − Lionel Trilling

"This awful Whitman. This post-mortem poet . . . with the private soul leaking out of him all the time." − Lionel Trilling

"[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples." − Virginia Wolff

"[Henry James was] one of the nicest old ladies I ever met." − William Faulkner

"Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else’s dirty water." − Alexander Woollcott

"[Dylan Thomas was] an outstandingly unpleasant man, one who cheated and stole from his friends and peed on their carpets." − Kingsley Amis

"[George Orwell] would not blow his nose without moralizing on the conditions in the handkerchief industry." − Cyril Connolly

"[Hemingway had] a literary style of wearing false hair on the chest" − Max Eastman

"[Gertrude Stein] was a past master in making nothing happen very slowly" − Clifton Fadiman

"[Auden was] an engaging, bookish, American talent, too verbose to be memorable and too intellectual to be moving" − Philip Larken

"That’s not writing, that’s typing" − Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac

"It is only fair to Allen Ginsberg to remark on the utter lack of decorum of any kind in this dreadful little volume" − John Hollander on Howl

"[Alexander Solzhenitsyn] is a bad novelist and a fool" − Gore Vidal

"[Writers are ] schmucks with Underwoods" − Jack Warner

"[Rod McKuen’s] poetry is not even trash" − Karl Shapiro

"A sausage machine, a perfect sausage machine." − Agatha Christie on Agatha Christie

And thanks to PQS for hooking me up.  Although you’ve been known to criticize my prose and poetry time or two, you always do it just between you and me … and with much adoration and affection.  Which is probably smart of you.  (*wink*)

xo, Angela

This is just going to be a rambling post (with lots of fun links just 4 u) because, well, I just want to talk to you, baby.  Sex, sex, sex.  It's all we ever do most of the time.

Cuckold me, you whisper into my ear, beat my balls with a tire iron, tie me up and tease me 'til I cry for mercy, dress me up in pink panties and make me eat cock, pierce my nipples with your carpet needle, fuck me with that big leather strap-on you keep in the bed stand drawer, make me worship your ass and eat my own cum, make me stroke to your sexy voice counting me down, spit on my face and slap me and tell me I'm your pussy boy, spank my ass and tell me I'm a naughty boy, castrate me until I cum but put them right back for the next time, play nurse and give me an enema, super-glue my dick to my belly, maybe even just a missionary fuck me.  Fuck me, at least, for chrizt's sake. Just give me sex, sex, sex and more sex.

Geeze!  Can't we just hold hands and snuggle once in a while?  Is that too much to ask?  Just tuck that prick back into your PJs and maybe you'll get lucky later.   That's a good boy.  Now go get us a cup of that hot, fresh coffee.  It's Starbucks, dontcha know?  Only the best for you and me.

*** 

So I'm into this big Science Fiction reading marathon as of late.  If you know me at least a little bit by now, you know I am a vehement reader.  If I'm not in the middle of good book, I actually feel slightly askew–like something necessary to my well being is missing.  Which can actually cause me to be quite cranky.  I just simply can't go to sleep until I've read at least a page or two of a book.  (So remember that if you're thinking about marrying me.  The light on my side of the bed could be on for minutes or hours.  And it is not negotiable!)  

I'd been holding on to an Amazon gift card since last Christmas and as of late been discussing books in general with both Pervert Savant and Vanilla Savant.  I could feel myself revving up for a book-buying binge.  Twice before in my life — once while in grade school and again in high school — I'd detoured into science fiction, and had even taken a Science Fiction and Fantasy course in college.

I'm into my second big, fat anthology sci fi book so far and it has been simply glorious.  I love short science fiction even more than full-length novels. This is a seriously big pile of books, including James Tiptree's Award Anthologies 1, 2 and 3, Richard Matheson's I am Legend and Hell House, and Walter Miller. Jr.'s A Canticle for Leibowitz.

I also tossed in Valerie Plame Wilson's Fair Game, because I really want to know what she has to say about the Bush et.al ass-fucking she got. Then there's Peter Walsh's It's All to Much, because balance hasn't been one of my stronger points as of late (and it was on sale!) and Robin McGraw's Inside My Heart because she sleeps with the one and only Dr. Phil, whom I simply adore.

For brain candy I added a variety of crime novels, among them The Surgeon and The Righteous Men.  And if you've been wondering if we can escape 9 – 5, live anywhere, and join the new rich, I'll let you know after I finish reading The 4 – Hour Workweek.  Plus I have this darling of a book, a Christmas present from someone extra special, Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice To All Creation, by Olivia Judson (it's a keeper: buy it.)  

***

Which brings us to ponder upon a certain point.  What's my biggest fetish?  Books?  Or is it shoes?  Or is it six of one, half a dozen of the other?  I will tell you that the last time I went shopping for a pair of shoes — all I wanted was a pair of white, leather Keds — I walked out of the store with eight pairs.  Right now I have my eye on three pairs of Skechers, of which I will show you JUST ONE PAIR.  Are those adorable or what? 

Well, now you know why I try to stay away from book stores and shoe stores.

***

Recently, I've been flattered by a few clients writing what one might call Fantasy Fan Fiction, basing their imaginative pieces upon something I've put into their kinky, little brains one way or the other.

David Webb, my caller who jerks to the stars (remember?), took three of my written fantasies from Blistered Lips — Jack Off For Me, Masturbating Boy and FemDom Handjob — and weaved them around a fantasy starring himself and Ali Larter (scroll to December 8, 2007).  David is just the sweetest guy and is having so much fun with his blog, that he is like a kid, albeit a kinky kid, in a candy shop.  And he DOES take candy from strangers.  Every chance he gets.

Then Porno Person (of Purient Interests) turned around and put his cute little fingers to the keyboard to write a Vampire Fantasy titled Blood Red Saturday Night (scroll to December 20, 2007) based upon a fantasy we did on the phone a few weeks back.   It's a good read and much better than my original version, although I was making it up by the seat of my panties, babbling on about whatever was popping onto the murky, smarmy panorama of my kink-O-vision screen.

***

Before I forget, there's a rather new place on the Net for Phone Sex Aficionados — both callers and PSOs — to hang out.  The Phone Sex Node (click the link, silly rabbit.  then sign up.  and use an alias.  duh!) is sponsored by a Miss Eve Scarlet.  I recently joined, so you can find me there and some pretty interesting boys and girls.  Many members keep blogs, there is a forum, and pictures too!  If you join, don't be shy.  Let me know you're there.

*** 

Oh, and BTW.  If you're a caller and have forgotten to leave feedback for moi, you can always go here and DO IT RIGHT NOW!  Just remember what Isabella Valentine says:  Good Feedback is Good Karma.

***

Women's Ass Size: New Study

There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses.

The results are pretty shocking:

1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. Only 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaing 85% say they don't care. He's a good man and they love him, so they are going to keep him anyway.

*** 

So I'm outta here, sweetie.  Did you enjoy our little Holiday Hump Day chat?  What?  You still want sex?  Dream on, Buster Boy.  I have some serious reading to get to.

xo, Angela 

Looking for Sex:  In All the Wrong Places?

I've written about this before, that as a webmistress I can see the  search terms by which people find their way to me.  Because I am a most awesome-est blog-stress, dontcha know.  (And if you're a first time visitor reading this, don't run away.  Stick around and get to know me.  I joke around a lot.  And make fun of myself and of what I do and everything else that is within shooting distance.) 

The last time, in an entry titled My Bad Reputation, we were looking at my FREE erotic story blog, Blistered Lips, checking out the specific search terms by which people were finding that site.  Evidently both readers and callers found it interesting, as many commented either via this blog or over the phone as to such.  Although it would behoove me to pay serious attention to this type of info and market myself accordingly, I don't.  But, hey!  I've always gone by the seat of my panties and it seems to serve me well.  So excuse me while I keep doing what works for me.

But I do continue to monitor–at least periodically–the whole darned thing, because it is fascinating.  As of late, my eyes have been on this blog, Zen Fetish, and which magical yellow brick road searchers are taking to get here.

So are ya ready?  Wanna see what I see? 

• domination (little innocent moi?)
• pantyhose
• femdom wedding  (read all about it)
• Hermaphrodite Phonesex  (I am actually quite good at this.)
• Angela St. Lawrence  (Guess who?)
• mistress tease denial
• phone sex  (read all about it)
• denial tease
• cock sucking men (Now would I make a guy do that?)
• small penis humiliation
• zen fetish
• pantyhose blog
• cuckold fetish  (read all about it)
• smoking fetish  (here and here)
  
• fetish ladies in leather
• femdom story
  
• cock control (read all about it)
  
• angela +zen fetish
• penis humiliation  (Okay, I admit liking this fantasy.)
• zen fetish
• femdom
• you're dick is bigger than my strap on  (I think not!)
  
• "porn art"
• femdom professional (You rang?)
  
• deep throat small penis  (Is that even possible?)
• female domination
• catholic school girl fetish (read all about it)
• femdom wedding
• phonesex fetish
• angela st lawrence
• zen fetish
• tease and denial (read all about it)
• zen fetish
• panty boy
• erotic tease  (A favorite of mine.)
  
• smell my thong  (I will not!)
• angela st. lawrence
• small penis humiliation
• spanking +enema 
• humiliation small dick
• small penis humiliation
• tease and delay orgasm stories
• princess crissy (read all about it)
  
• face slapping
• erotic humiliation (read all about it)
  
• good girls gone bad  (What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?)
  
• women getting fucked by a small penis
• zen fetish
• cuckold (read all about it)
• frau story  (Say what?)
  
• dirty school girls
  
• sissy +panties  (Oh, the fun of it all.)
  
• erotic humiliation
• panty fetish  (read all about it)
  
• forced cocksucking (read all about it)
  
• looking for a dirty old man to use my sissy man cunt (You are?)
• smoking fetish
• fucked so hard her pussy bled  (Dream on, Herman.)
• face slapping a slave  (read all about it)
  
• small penis humiliation
• mistress femdom "eat cum" 
• cock tease  (read all about it)
  
• dangling pussy lips  (Yuk!)
  
• small penis humiliation
• bad girls bestiality (Shame on you!)
• cock sucking boys (read all about it)
• fetish women in chains
• panty ass fetish
• orgasm control  (Oh, yeah!)
• smoking fetish
• cum denial
• kinky catholic girls  (And your point is…?)
• i  like big cock and i am a man  (I knew that already.)
• sissy sex with mom mistress
• zen sex
  
• cuckold "worship my cunt"
• bad boy forced to cum
• pantified
• slightly big cocks  (hmmm….)
• cum denial story
• catholic girls  (read all about it)
• panties
• face slapping porn
• naughty santa claus
• santa claus sex
• good girls gone bad porn
• panty jerking
• smoking, face slapping

The above is just a partial list, since I only have so much time and so do you.  But at least you get a picture of how people are finding their way to the Church of Miss St. Lawrence.  I was surprised how fast my naughty little Christmas story got picked up.  The Internet Gods must have their noses to the grindstone, trying to keep up with the blogosphere explosion.

It's kinda-sorta embarrassing how much "small penis humiliation" (in some form or other) comes up.  It really is a fun dom/sub phonesex game, but it is only a game and not anything I do in my real, everyday life.  I just love the fantasy of verbally emasculating a man.  Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.  I will tell you that very smart, sophisticated men usually enjoy this fantasy.  I think it might be because they are so damned brilliant, the word play is an intoxicating form of domination…whips and chains are just too common for them.

Mostly the list is pretty accurate regarding the types of fantasies at which I excel.  At least some guys seem to think so.  Then there are a few who don't.   C'est la vie!

So, don't be shy.  Tell me what you think.

xo, Angela 

Readers should know by now that I have a column at Sex Kitten. A great gang of girls are the center of attention over there, with the occasional male showing up for support and/or commentary and/or their own articles.

Although I’ll never measure up to Dorothy Parker or break bread with the likes of Alice Walker, I do like to write and Gracie is either kind enough or crazy enough–probably a little of both–to let do my thing, with very little intervention on her part…thank goodness. Structure, for me is a motherfucker, I don’t even usually make appointments for my nails or hair. I just drop in and expect them to work their magic. My saving grace, the reason they put up with my silliness, is my charming personality. And it might have something to do with the fact that I am an above average tipper. Just maybe.

Anyway, I wrote this piece, “When the Muse Wants to Fuck,” which had been very well received over at the Cat House. And I thought that was the end of it. But Kitten belongs to this blog club or something–I’ve never quite figured out how it works–called Sugasm. Seems that every week voters pick the best blog entries of the week. And my Muse piece was in the top three of issue 98! WOW! I wonder if I’ll get a cash prize. Or maybe a tiara and new car? Just kidding.

Actually, I’m stoked and I hope you take time to read it. It is one of my own personal favorites.

***

He’s baaaack! Pervert Savant, bless his pea-pickin’ heart, just sent me Chapter IV of Lingerie on the Razorwire, and it is unbelievably funny and downright brilliant. Why this guy isn’t writing for a living is beyond me. I also talked with PS today and he was his jolly and articulate self. I could listen to him for hours. He says he’ll be back soon. He is still having PC issues, but expects to have them corrected in the near future. He actually typed this chapter on his office PC. He charges by the hour. Wonder who he billed for that? Anyway, I’ll be publishing it in the next few days, so stay tuned.

***

A few questions (click the linkage if your answer is YES).

1. Do you absolutely fucking adore a woman who digs lingerie?
2. Does it take a smart woman to be a truly good Dominatrix?
3. Is cuckolding catching on as an acceptable kink?
4. Can good guys ever really finish first?
5. Did you know Shakespeare is still alive and slinging porn?
6. Can the human spirit thrive in prison?
7. Is it possible to be a good boy and one kinky motherfucker?
8. Does a girl who can talk sports turn you on?

***

Also, I am going to be featuring another story by Porno Person soon. He writes the dirtiest erotica, while I tend to save most of seriously nasty stuff for the kink-O-phone. So I like to put some of his beautifully filthy and seriously kinky fantasies here once in a while. It’s good to give this blog a good shaking up now and again. Dontcha think?

***

And to answer a question I get all the time: Yes, I know I link to people who don’t link to me. I don’t link for popularity or creating a “Google” presence; the linkage you find to the right of this blog is hand-picked by me for my readers. It is to benefit them, not me. People find me easily enough without me sacrificing my personal and professional integrity. So why screw with a good thing? Huh?

Okay, baby…I am history.

Until the next time.

xo, Angela

At least that’s the rumor.

Could it be? Maybe-Kinda-Sorta? If only? Dream on, Biatch?

Well, Silent Porn Star thinks I am. So there! Talk about rock stars! Compared to this woman I am a just a star-struck groupie. For a fascinating read, you really should check her out. Describing herself as “A collector, a writer, a woman” and her site as a place where “Den of a Iniquity meets Den of Antiquity,” SPS’s blog is in turn intellectually flirtatious, divinely erotic, sweetly mysterious and visually captivating; not to mention consistently inspired.

And not only does she think I rock, she’s acted on her well-placed (okay, okay…it’s all smoke & mirrors on my part, but don’t tell her) admiration and named me a Rockin’ Girl Blogger. I even get a little trophy (of sorts) to display here for God and everybody else to see (and oooh and ahhh over).

Cute thingy, dontcha agree? While I’m making light of it –because I do have a self-deprecating charm, despite my occasional Fem Domme predilections– I am thoroughly delighted. It is quite an honor, particularly considering the company I am keeping, including Gloria Brame, Gracie Passette, Slip of a Girl and Thom of Fabulon (yes he is and…don’t ask).

And so for my acceptance speech, to Silent Porn Star, Sally Fields and all of my readers: You like me! You really like me! And while I would enjoy hitting the all-night awards parties going on all over the net on this festive evening, I’m afraid I must stay behind and attend to business. Because there’s one itsy-bitsy little sniggity-snag to this award: I must nominate five other lucky lovelies to carry the torch forward.

This is a task I find extremely difficult and next to impossible. Perhaps you recall the last time I was nominated for a similar accolade when I totally and irresponsibly dropped the ball? It’s not that I’m purposely obstinate, I just really and truly hate leaving anybody out. Plus I am incredibly blessed to know many fine blogger types –both male, female and in-between (wink)– which makes it a triple hardship. After all, what is true and right about a nomination and/or nominee can change on a dime. In other words, we have our filler output (because our readers are expecting us to show up with something) and our inspired flashes of brilliance (when the muse has us by our medulla oblongatas and every word from our fingertips is magic).

But, with apologies to Tom Allen of Edge of Vanilla who was so gracious in overlooking my (as mentioned above) sin of “bloggus interuptus” after he’d generously nominated me for The Thinking Blogger Award, I am going to Strap it On and present my own choices for “Rockin’ Girl Blogger.” Drum roll, please? And so, in no particular order:

1. Mistress V: I can never say enough good things about this Fem Domme Super Star. And it is not just a professional thing with me, it’s personal. I’ve had many interactions with this lovely lady and I’ve always found her to be generous with her time and advice, non-judgmental of my general quirkiness and a professional dynamo. When it comes to her blog, well…everybody’s reading it, with 229 readers subscribing by FeedBurner, which of course, gives only a partial picture. And, unlike many setting up shop on the Internet, she really is a Dominatrix. Ms. V is active in the Arizona fetish scene and hangs out with a lot of kinky people. Read her blog and check out the abundant display of pics. I promise you: You will be born again, caught up in the “sweevil” wonder that is Mistress V.
2. Tasty Trixie: If you haven’t heard of Miss Trixie by now… Well, I hate to say it but you need to get with the times, dear reader! I am a super fan of this Internet Cam Goddess and her blog, The Wondering Webwhore, which has been around for a long time and inspired many women (myself included) and turned on more than a few men. You will find her wickedly smart and home-spun beautiful and –above all– extremely ethical (check out #3 and # 7) with her readers, her peers and clientèle. I would follow her to the end of the rainbow if she told me it was best. And she is so damned sexy that I swear she could make me go gay.
3. Goddess Alexandra: Describing her blog, Sensual Sadist, as A candid look at the kink life of a Transsexual Fetish Creature, Dominant Sadist and Human being, Goddess Alexandra offers her readers a resplendent oasis where all things are possible and nobody gets hurt (unless they want to). Ranging from poignant to humorous to insightful, Ms. Alexandra’s thoughts and observations are consistently thought-provoking and always touch me deeply. There is a lot to learn from this woman. She is so compassionate and passionate, that I feel I could sit at her feet forever and never get enough of what she has to teach me…just by being herself.
4. Isabella Valentine: A partner in crime and good friend, Isabella is a top-shelf PSO and high-profile web seductress specializing in Erotic Hypnotism. Her recorded audios are legendary; even my callers talk to me about Isabella! Because she is one self-actualized chickadee (she is a student, audio recorder, a web designer, a photographer and an artist…and who knows what else), Isabella has a lot to talk about and her blog reflects this. Being both candid and generous, Isabella gives readers personal glimpses into her daily life, features plenty of her photography and artwork, and tops it all off with bunches of FREE audio and video clips. Simply scrumptious.
5. Sabrina Morgan: While I don’t know this young lady as well as I would like, I certainly admire her sexy intellect and well-honed ability to sling a sexy story. So much so that I’ve even featured one of her stories here. So why does this woman do it for me? Consider the title of her blog: Sabrina in Stockings. Makes you want to look, doesn’t it? Which is certainly apropos, since Sabrina is a PSO who celebrates all things feminine and the power her particular muliebrity wields over men. It’s the Art of the Tease, dontcha know? Plus, there’s the section of her blog, Full Frontal Politics, which should make any thinking man fall to his knees in lust.   Dirty and smart?   Sounds like the perfect girl to me!

So, there you have it, my 5 nominees for Rockin’ Girl Blogger. They may love me for this…or they might hate me and send me nasty emails. (Because now it’s their turn to choose 5 Rockin’ Girl Bloggers.)

But, girls, the choices I made were from my heart: I adore all of you. You’re the cream in my coffee, the twinkle in my eye, the cherry on my sundae, the angel in my pocket. Each and every one of you is a beacon…if the rest of us just follow the light, we can’t help but be better at what we do and how we do it.

xo, Angela