A certain reader, who shall remain nameless (but not guiltless) and is squiggly-wiggly enamored with the “literate” in my professional phone sex site, Literate Smut, took it upon himself to erect a virtual-effigy to me and my websites, an alphabetical list of of naughty alliterations. Being a frustrated poet, I happen to like alliterations and so…here you go (with his side comments included):

amphisexual ass play
breast bucking & fucking
cunt cracking crescendo
dip-stick, drip-stick, dick-stick
erotic, exotic enema (sooo kinky)
freaky fetish fucking
gonzo glory hole guzzling (count me out on this one)
hot hole humping
illicit inseminations
jerk the johnson to jizz
kinky keister kisser
lickable luscious labia
male membrum e-rectum (i suffer from this often)
nimble-hipped nympho
orbital oral intercourse
pecker-pumping & dumping
quim-quenching quickie
randy-dandy rim job
sado-maso mischief
teasing temptress of tele-dick-tion (Our Angela)
urge the prick to purge
voluptuous scrumptious vulgarian
wacking the one-eyed weasel
x-rated extreme reaming
yanking the doodle dandy
Zeusophobic fem domme diva (the irony of it!)

Well…I must say it does my heart good to see my callers/readers stretching their little creative wings. And it always makes me smile.

xo, Angela

So over at my erotica blog, Blistered Lips, I’ve been kinda-sorta tracking–I tend to be lazy about this stuff–my search engine traffic to see what search terms are bringing surfers to the site. I could almost blush! Or maybe I should voluntarily submit to wearing a scarlet letter. Or should I be washing my mouth out with soap? Enlightening, to say the least. Maybe I should get serious about the "professional" end of this once and for all. On second thought…nah! Some of the wordage is downright filthy, some is quite humorous, some accurately reflects my fantasy interests and some of it–I haven’t a clue as to why someone would be looking up such stuff. So, with at least some semblance of economy in mind, here is a partial list:

• cock leash (a current passion)
• tease and denial
• gloved masturbation (great humiliation technique)
• spankings for touching cock (story)
• cuckold castration
• tease denial
• sucking cock (story)
• Tease and denial
• cock leash
• strap-on cuckold
• "tease & denial" +clit
• mistress ass clit cum yes ma’am
• tease and denial
• sissy, panties
• domination xxx beginning learning (he needs to check out Richard)
• "STRAP ON" knees beg suck
• tease and denial
• show pussy lips
• spanking, bad boy
• panty jerking (story)
• tease princess humiliation (story)
• "you wouldn’t dare" mom spanking
• kerrie marie
• cuckold mistress
• suck my beautiful cunt lips (sounds like fun)
• pig cumming (say what?)
• tease and denial
• castration (story)
• teased begging to cum denied denial (story)
• spanked mother bedroom strap
• cuckold tease and denial
• cock leash
• hand job (story)
• tease and denial
• blistered lips
• swollen pussy lips
• flash tease denial (story)
• denied sex cum sissy
• sister prick tease
• castration issue femdom
• types of pussy lips (doesn’t he know?)
• panties tease denial
• strap-on domination ( calling Mistress V)
• tease denial
• TEASE AND DENIAL CUM
• bowl-of-cum blonde (poor girl)
• tied up and teased
• tease and denial cuckold
• I play with my clit as she canes me
• she made me promise to eat cum if cuckolded
• wife tease and denial
• tease and denial (Are we seeing a pattern here?)
• "spunk-soaked" orgasms (sounds messy)
• table tease denial
• "she spanks hard" (article)
• stiletto in the cunt (ouch)
• tease denial
• tease and denial phoenix (what about Dallas? or Denver?)
• cockleash femdom
• "cock pig" cum balls school (there’s a school for that?)
• hand job with ball spreader
• tease and denial
• femdom "cum training"
• dangling pussy lips (eeeewe!)
• crawl here eat my cunt bitch
• cuckold panties
• blistered lips (could it be?)
• wife tease denial
• "chastity device" dysfunction
• femdom manservant (I could use one of these.)
• squirt on the floor come cock strapon
• first time cuckolding
• Sounds in his cock (ouch-but fun)

As you see, I threw in a few comments and links. Be my guest. And BTW (by the way) — I’m working this weekend. Ring me up if you wanna see if I can live up to my bad reputation.

xo, Angela

it’s the bitch in her ~by Angela

it’s the bitch in her
that keeps you on her dotted line
signed, sealed, delivered
your signature, her hand
done deal

used up and faded blue
the new you
(after all)

after all:
buckled down and tied up
your twisted tongue and caught breath
searching for sonnets

searching for sonnets
on hobbled limbs
and always bended knee
to sing, to plead, to offer alms
to your silent siren
who never listens, never speaks
who only hears her own measure

it’s the bitch in her
that keeps you here and keeps you hers:
her cheap fetish
her pygmy romeo
her corrupt fuck

it’s the bitch in her
that’s taken you down
rubbed you raw
cut you clean
wiped you out
bled you, bled you, bled you

it’s the bitch in her
that fucks with you
fucks you up
fucks you over
and doesn’t give
a flying fuck about any of it

it’s the bitch in her
that has your attention
your cock, your devotion, your heart

it’s the bitch in her
that makes you her bitch

***

What I’m trying to say is that I finally finished moving my FREE erotica blog, Blistered Lips to it’s own Web address and hope you visit often.

The above poem is one of my newest entries and has proven quite popular so far..

***

And…thanks to Mistress V for being the original hostess of Blistered Lips and for being a very good friend.  If you’re a blogging neonate, eager to get your “blogging feet” wet, check out Mistress V’s Vixen Blogs, where you can blog away to your heart’s content at absolutely no cost.  Mistress V even has low-cost hosting plans and will help you transfer to your own domain when you’re ready to upgrade and strike out on your own.  It’s where I got started and look at me now? (No groans from the Peanut Gallery, thank you very much.)

And while you over there, you can still find me–glad to still be hanging out with Mistress V–plugging away at Pardon My French, my collection of sexy quotes.

xo, Angela

Yesterday for me was what one might call “brittle.” Blame it on the weather (more snow…believe it or not), the temperature (one degree Fahrenheit…I kid you not) and a bit of a spat with a friend (which we will not discuss). My intent was to work up a storm, whispering filthy, dirty things into the ears of good boys trying desperately to be bad. To do it over and over and over again.

Alas, my self-indulgent mood-spasm got in the way and I did no such thing. Instead –which isn’t such a bad thing for me and my “bigger life picture”– I attended to a lot of fringe personal and fringe professional stuff that had been floating around, yet weighting me down.

A few items of good news, so let me catch you up, okay?

First: SuperVert, who is an official Zen Savant (Deviant Savant) and very good friend, did a New Year’s eve blog entry for the loners out there (of which I was one) and mentioned the gauntlet I threw down during the holidays. Did you know that I am the first and only “official” Phone Sex Operator his site PervScan has ever had? Do you know how special that makes me feel? How grateful? How lucky? How blessed? Because Mr. Vert is simply divine in every way, dontcha know?

Then: Coming soon to an Amazon.com near you: A poem (I Love You With All of my Hard-On), a short story (Mary’s Queer) and two of my essays (Do I Need a New Job or What? and Please Pass the Egg Nog: Pornography or Porn-not-graphy?) are going to be featured in a new Sex Kitten book, to be published this spring, Riding the Knot in Our Collective Shorts: A collection of rants and erotica. So a lady can get pissed and then have masturbatory make-up sex. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? I can’t wait to read it myself!

And: Thanks to a loyal reader/caller who kindly pointed me in the proper direction, else I might have missed this one. The edgy, progressive and hip sex-zine, Fleshbot actually blogged my blog in one of their ultra-cool Sex Blog Roundups! This particular Roundup, subtitled Pornified Edition (proving I am not the only one to make up words to fit my mood, need, or intent), was courtesy of Chelsea Girl who happens to be a mighty fine writer with a blog of her own, pretty dumb things. I’ve added her to my links under Hot Blogs, because she is a phenomenal writer. She dresses it down as every day prose, but don’t let her fool you…her words are pure poetry. Check her out, because there just might be a test. And with that test there just might be a surprise.

So there you have it: While a bit of personal and professional detritus has been taken care of and life is a bit lighter now, I’m still basically snowed in. Since it’s cold enough to freeze your coochie off, I’m burning logs in my fireplace. Deviant Savant is wonderful as always. I’m about to be published in a real book for a second time. And I’ve been officially “pornified” by FleshBot.

One more thing: I found the coolest Erica Jong quote which I’ve added to Zen Wisdom…

xo, Angela

Pervert Savant sends the following email.

Subject: Pulp Fiction for the Jaded

Dearest Angela:

I’ve been thinking.

My contribution to “Pulp Porn” would be an elaboration on a new idea that has been percolating in my fevered brain. “Phone Sex Pimp Daddy” — a bare-knuckled tell-all expose about a middle-aged white office worker who, one day, decides to become a PPP (“Phone Sex Pimp).

Follow him as he gathers his stable of phone sex whores — preying on innocent intellectual women, corrupting them, buying their bifocals, encouraging them to read books, forcing them to speak in grammatical sentences and then, when they have nothing left, requiring them to slave away at phone banks in dingy offices, dingier apartments, and still dingier trailer parks, plying their trade until they’re used up and hoarse — enslaved and willing to give all their hard earned profits to their pimp, (a man who is known on the avenue as “NiteFlirt”).

He’s their “Phone Sex Daddy!” You can do the screenplay. I’d want a percentage of the take from the movie, of course.

Sincerely,

Pervert Q. Savant

What do you think? Should I go for it? Write that screenplay and share the wealth with this rascal of a guy? I think he has the talent. Certainly the gumption. Or maybe I should write the book and the screenplay. Reap the bounty myself?

Or maybe I’ll just ignore this silliness and buy a membership to Tit-Elation.

Which reminds me: One of my stories, Tying up Amy was featured via Tit-Elation at Samarel Erotic Art.

And for those who emailed and/or commented on yesterday’s entry, I am fine. I really am. Just rolling with the punches. Thanks so much.

xo, Angela