Lipstick LesbiansWednesday, December 19th, 2007 | |
Archive for the 'Bedtime Stories' Category
I Get By…Friday, August 17th, 2007 | |
…with a little help from my friends. And they are simply marvelous.
Lawyer Guy: Well, he’s a caller, a buddy, a lawyer (of course)…and he sent me this very funny joke:
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”
“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.
“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”
“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You come with us, also.”
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!”
“Bring them all, as well, ” the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.”
Gracie Passette & Entourage: Yeah, I had a birthday (8/15). And no wish list! Doesn’t every red-blooded PSO have a wish list? Not this one. I let this quietly slip by because I really didn’t want a big fuss, but Gracie begged, so I let her quietly announce it…thanks, Kittens! I actually spent the day at the hospital with my mother … she needed me more than my birthday cake did. And I received some very nice unexpected gifts and tips … thanks guys (you know who you are!)
Jeremy Edwards: You must remember Jeremy, AKA Jerotic? The fab writer who is oh so very naughty in all the right ways? I’ve written about him and featured his stories on more than one occasion….because, well, I like him a lot. He is a kind and generous friend to Zen Fetish, and I simply love having him stop by: To tell us the latest news, or share a randy little story, or even just for tea and crumpets. Not that I know what a crumpet is. But for Jeremy I would certainly comb the town and search every bakery until I found a crumpet or two or three.
As I’ve previously noted, Jeremy certainly gets around. And we all know the man has magic in each and every one of his dirty little fingertips. Oh, how I love those fingertips! It seems that Jeremy is making new friends over at a divinely inspired blog, Lust Bites (more about this later), where in a piece titled, Spouse-Sharing, Knicker-wetting, Flying Fucks, and Other Scenes of Amorous Tenderness, he asks and answers with elegant locution what turns out to be a not-so-rhetorical question of himself: Am I a “romantic?” Which, in turn, answers the question for all of us, Can kink and romance inhabit the same bed?
What do you think? Is he? Can they? If you’ve followed his work (and I have), you already know the answer. But it sure is fun having Jeremy spell it out with that same whimsical, sexy sweetness that permeates and percolates his erotic fiction. Hubba Hubba!
Sweat Shop Sissy: SSS is another Zen Fetish buddy, whose sweeter than sweet blog actually proves Jeremy’s contention that Kink and Romance can most definitely inhabit the same bed…and even thrive. Because Mr. Sissy Man is living it: An everyday working Joe who loves his wife and family deeply and just happen to wear panties…and it turns the Missus on! Ever so kind, he recently sent me this very funny link (be my guest, do click!) which proves that even men in lingerie LOVE BLOW JOBS!
Libby the Libertine: Speaking of Blow Jobs, Libby (of SexPros), who is a fellow columnist (I’m officially on hiatus, but not for long) at Sex Kitten, recently sucked the most famous cock in the world and possibly of all times? Surely I don’t need to tell you who this cock belonged to? Well…none other than Ron Jeremy, himself! Want all the juicy, naughty details? READ ALL ABOUT IT! I really love what Gracie had to say about this particular (mighty giddy…can you blame her?) confessional: Gawd, I luv you, Libby. Who else is gonna call me at 2 a.m. and say, “Guess whose dick I had in my mouth?” ROFL
Mistress V: Just a quick note here (I tend to go on when it comes to this lady. Aren’t you proud of the restraint I’m showing today?) Have you seen her Fetish Heat Video in which she publicly humiliates a sissy? Well, then, go there now. She is so damn hot! No “pretender to the throne,” this Fetish Mistress.
Lust Bites: I’m smitten. Accordingly, I’ve added this awesome blog to my links under Ethical Smut. A lot is happening over at Lust Bites (The blog on everyone’s lips.) It’s an upbeat hub of activity with a a gaggle (that’s a horde with attitude) of excellent regular writers discussing and opining on all things smut-O-licious…and tossing in a healthy dose of Brain Porn (that means you have to read with one hand and, well…do whatever with the other) for good measure. Plus Guest Bloggers! What a deal! And every inch of it is smart writing. Oh, and did I mention all the Freebies and Give-Aways?
Like I said…I get by with a little help from my friends.xo, Angela
For the Girls: A ParableMonday, May 28th, 2007 | |
(and the boys, too)
The Balek Scales
Deep in the forest, far from the main roads and the view of passing travelers, lived a town of hard-working, almost downtrodden people. They worked in small factories making products for sale in the far-off cities. They endured the mechanical clatter of the machines, which drowned out all but the loudest of forest sounds, and spent their days trying to ignore the illnesses and wounds they suffered as a result of their work.
Despite these hardships, the people and the town kept alive a spirit of muted happiness. At night, during the few hours that the factories were silent, they could hear the wind moving through the trees of the vast forest. The families shared with one another, ate meals together, and grieved as one when some all-too-common tragedy befell them.
The people lived in simple homes, one room cottages with a single bed for the parents. Their children slept where they could on the floor, often in a pile like kittens to give each other comfort and keep each other warm. They ate thin soup and drank weak tea six days a week, waiting for the hearty stew and precious coffee that were Sunday’s gifts.
While their parents worked in the factories, the children took care of the home. In the mornings before school, they gathered firewood, did the cleaning, and peeled the scanty vegetables that went into each night’s soup. As soon as school was out, they went into the forest to gather mushrooms and herbs until dark, which they then sold in town to the Baleks.
By now, the woods and the factories, and in some cases, the very land on which they lived, was all owned by The Balek family. Rumor had it that once, generations ago, the Baleks had been like everyone else. Hard-working. Humble. Accepting. Ordinary. But somewhere along the way, the story goes, something had set them apart. Maybe they had worked just a little harder, slept just a little less. Perhaps they had been blessed with special knacks for thrift and ingenuity. Their wealth slowly grew. They bought land, built factories, collected rent. They moved to bigger houses on the edges of the village.
The fortunes of The Balek family really turned, however, when they took possession of the scales. Scrimping and saving, so the story goes, the Baleks acquired scales from a far-off city none of the others had ever seen. Soon, the Baleks were weighing out the mushrooms and the herbs that came in from the forest, paying out money to the other families, and selling the wares in distant marketplaces. In a matter of a few years, they built an enormous castle on the hillside overlooking the town, in which now resided the scales, where everyone else went to make their sales.
The laws of the town stated that no one else could own a scale. No one could remember the date of the law’s enactment, but everyone took it for granted. They found other ways to measure weights and quantities. And besides, the fancy gilded scales looked so fair, so efficient, so accurate that no one even thought of breaking that law. Why should they? But just in case anyone should be tempted, the penalties for violating this rule were severe. You could be fired from your job and banned from selling to the Baleks. Your house, if it sat on Balek family land, could be confiscated.
For years, one boy had been bringing more mushrooms and herbs before the scales than any other. Though no one else knew this, the reason he gathered so much was because he was not afraidâ€â€no, this is not true; he was less afraid than anyone elseâ€â€of The Giant. The Giant was rumored to roam the woods that surrounded the town, protecting a hidden treasure. The Giant was the reason that the townspeople did not visit the other villages, or travel to the cities. Fear of The Giant confined most children to gathering mushrooms and herbs from a tiny plot of forest behind their homes.
Somehow, this particular boy was able to venture farther and keep his fear at bay. He found untouched riches in the forest, places where no one but him had ever before gathered mushrooms and herbs.
Twice a week, the boy would climb the road leading to the castle, carrying his sacks full of wares. At the weighing room, Frau Balek would smile down at him as he handed over the mushrooms and herbs to be weighed. She pretended to be impressed by his success, but something in her smile and in the tone of her voice made the boy uncomfortable. Frau Balek would write down his weights in a tremendous, leather-bound ledger, and then hand him his money. Sometimes she would reach her hand into the great glass jar of candy and pass one to him as well. He could find no reason for what inspired her to give him candy sometimes and not others. He had long since given up the idea that if he was polite enough, well-behaved enough, that he would be rewarded. It all seemed to depend on her mood.
This went on for years. The boy gathered mushrooms and herbs, received candy sometimes but not others, and kept a ledger of his own. He, like Frau Balek, wrote down every transaction. How many ounces of mushrooms and herbs, how much he had been paid for them.
In the year that the boy turned thirteen, the Baleks were selected by the Imperial Governor to join the nobility. The coming New Year would coincide with the celebration of this grand local event.
As a gift to the townspeople for their years of loyalty, the Baleks gave each household a quarter-pound of coffee. By this time, the boy was old enough to be trusted to run errands for other families, and so was sent to fetch the coffee for his own home and that for the three families that lived closest to him. He entered the castle on New Year’s Eve, and stood before the scales. To his surprise, Frau Balek was not there. A frantic maid was there in her place, sorting through the pile of four-ounce packages of coffee. Every now and then, the boy could hear someone shouting at the maid to hurry up, there was so much to do to get ready for the night’s festivities. The maid looked up at him, and he asked for the four packages of coffee he had been sent to fetch.
“Yes,†she said. “Certainly.â€Â
She stepped forward with the coffee in her hands.
“And let me get you some candy as well,†she said with a smile, but when she went to reach into the jar, she saw that it was empty. She laughed, and said, “Let me go in the back and get some more.â€Â
She absentmindedly set the packets of coffee onto the scales and hurried off.
The boy noticed that the pound weight was slotted into a notch on the arm of the scales. He looked at the four four-ounce packages of coffee sitting there on the plate, and then to the arrow that should have pointed to the carefully painted black line that indicated the proper reading — one pound. But the arrow rested well short of the mark.
The boy was filled with fury, but he still managed to think quickly. He reached into his pocket and brought out a handful of the stones he liked to collect as he walked through the forest. He placed them one after another onto the scale until the arrow pointed where it should. Seven stones. From his other pocket he took a handkerchief, and wrapped the seven stones in it. As he worked, he found himself sweating and shaking, feeling a fear far greater than any he had felt before. It did not subside entirely, even after the handkerchief-wrapped stones were safely in his pocket, his discovery unnoticed.
When the maid returned, he gathered his fear and his fury into a statement.
“I want to see Frau Balek!â€Â
The maid was surprised by his tone, but she just laughed, as if his demand were so impossible as to not even warrant a response. He stood there looking at her as she filled the candy jar. He turned and left without the coffee, without the gift of candy.
The boy walked straight into the forest, following the rarely traveled path that led to the nearby towns. He walked and walked, never once thinking of The Giant until he had gone farther than he ever had before. Even then, whatever fear he felt was too weak to stop him, to counteract his sense of betrayal, his determination to set things right. He passed without a word through several villages until he arrived in a place where scales were not illegal. He remembered the place from a long-ago visit, when he had been ill as a child. His mother had carried him here when the treatments of the Baleks’ doctor had failed him. He had come to the home of a healer, who, in the dark corner of his home, had a scale for measuring out his potions. That was years ago, but the boy remembered, and hoped the healer would still be alive.
The boy found the healer’s house. He knocked on the door, and an old man answered. It was the healer.
“I want to have this weighed,†the boy exclaimed without explanation, and held out the stones wrapped in the handkerchief. The healer eyed him sternly, then reached out his gnarled hand, took the bundle, and disappeared behind the closed door.
As he waited, the boy began to cry. He cried for himself, and for all the generations of children before him who had been cheated by the Balek scales. When the healer came back, he seemed unphased by the boy’s tears. He handed the bundle back to him, and said, “Two ounces…Exactly.â€Â
The boy wiped his tears, nodded, and turned to walk away. The healer called to him.
“Boy,†he said, his face just visible in the shadows of the doorway. “Good luck.â€Â
The boy walked home knowing what he must do. He did not say a word as his father shouted and beat him for his unexplained absence and for his lame excuses about the missing coffee. He endured his punishment, then went to his room. Through the night, right up until the time when the New Year’s Eve celebration had already begun, he went through his ledger, page after page, calculating. He finished just as the fireworks began. He walked out into the square where everyone was gathered, shouting, cooing, laughing. He found his family, and stood beside them with his hands upon his hips. When finally they noticed his defiant posture, he shouted over the explosions, “The Baleks owe me 21 Marks and fifty pence!†When they asked him what on earth he was talking about, he told them the whole story.
Word about the scales spread quickly through the town. At the New Year’s Day church service the next morning, the townspeople were ready. The Baleks, expecting the streets to be lined with well-wishers, traveled from their castle to the church through an empty town. At the church, where the priests would bless their new coat of armsâ€â€an image of The Giant holding aloft a gleaming scaleâ€â€they found a crowd of stony-faced and silent onlookers. The townspeople waited for the Balek family to enter and move to their seats at the front of the church before taking their own places inside. The priest, sensing the hostility of the crowd, sweated and fumbled through his sermon and the blessing of the coat of arms.
Before the service was even quite over, the townspeople crossed themselves, asked forgiveness for their rudeness, and filed out of the church, where they lined the walkway, waiting. As the Baleks emerged, they were berated with angry questions and a chant: “Your scales aren’t just…Your scales aren’t just!â€Â
Frau Balek saw the boy standing there silently, and mistaking his silence for sympathy, she approached him, wearing the odd smile the boy had gotten used to.
“Why didn’t you take your coffee the other day?†she asked. The boy looked at her, and spoke firmly, calmly, slowly.
“Because you owe me 21 Marks and fifty pence.â€Â
Frau Balek recoiled as if he had cursed her. She pulled her shawl bearing the family’s new coat of arms tight around her shoulders and spun away from him, heading quickly towards her carriage.
While this was going on, a few of the men had entered the Baleks’ castle and taken the enormous, leather-bound ledger that resided by the scales. When the other townspeople returned from the church, they gathered in the square, where the men had set up a table and were calculating the Balek family’s generations-long fraud. They worked on towards darkness, but before they could finish, the soldiers arrived. They stormed into the square, beating the people away. By the time they reached the table and snatched the ledger away, several of the men were hurt and one little girl had been killed.
The town, and the other villages who lived under the Baleks’ rule revolted. The factories were then silent for days on end. The children did not go to the school, where the priest gave a demonstration before an empty classroom of the scales’ unfailing accuracy.
Finally, soldiers went door to door and forced the people back to work and made the children back to school, threatening them with prison, fines, or worse. A law was then passed making the chant “Your scales aren’t just!†illegal.
Before long things appeared normal once again.
But thereafter, everywhere you wentâ€â€in every town and village, and even, it was rumored, in the far-off cities, tooâ€â€people told the story of the boy with the pebbles in his pockets, the boy who wasn’t afraid of the Giant. They also spoke of the silence of the factories during the revolt and how the sounds of the woodsâ€â€birdsong and windâ€â€could actually be heard again in broad daylight. After that, everyone knew the truth about the scales, and everyone was a little less afraid of the Giant.
***
This story was written by Nobel Prize winner, Heinrich Boell. It was sent to me quite a while ago (October 13, 2006) by our esteemed Pervert Savant, who is as smart as he is kinky. I’ve kept it all this time because it touched my heart deeply and I knew that someday there would come a time to share it. That time is now…and a certain measure of my fellow PSOs will understand why.
For the rest of you, it is a lovely story from which–no matter who you are–much can be learned.
You can find out more about Heinrich Boell by clicking here.
xo, Angela
Delayed GratificationMonday, February 19th, 2007 | |
You’ll just have to keep it in your pants, my love.
Because….
The piles of snow around town are finally melting and receding.
It is time for me to make my escape. So I am on my way out the door for a bit of extended R&R which will last anywhere from 7 to 14 days depending on how things go. I’m not sure of all the details except that a day at the spa is on the agenda. I should have at least sporadic internet access and will try to touch base with all two of my readers on a somewhat regular basis.
I hope you miss me, because I will surely miss you. You’re kinda-sorta my habit, dontcha you know?
***
By the way, over the weekend I not only worked my butt off taking calls; I also totally redecorated my phonesex store front.
In keeping with my long-held personal belief that less is indeed more and speaks volumes about someone’s confidence in their own abilities (bragging is so yesterday, dontcha think?) and therefore tends to attract savvier, sophisticate-types (in this case, the “adulterate cognoscenti”), I kept it simple and sweet.
And I am just tickled pink with how it all finally turned out. Of course, with titles like Macho Sissy, Indecent Exposure and Prick Tease how could it not be simply divine?
***
While I am away and basking in the sweet glow of decadent laziness, I might try to put together a few pieces of erotica. Would you like that? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?
In the meantime, if you haven’t been to Blistered Lips yet, give it a gander. While I haven’t updated or added anything new in quite a while, there is a collection of my erotica there which is free for you to read. Maybe something will catch your fancy or whet your whistle or tickle your willie-bone.
***
Need something to read while I am gone?
***
Need someone to call while I’m gone?
- Naughty Blonde (barely legal & very sexy)
- Isabel Moon (new to the biz with discounted rates)
- Hung Brandon (he’s having a sale!)
- MILF Chelle (and she has cam!)
- Hypno – Seductrix (oh oh)
***
Okay folks. Lil’ Miss Angela is out the door. And you be good while I’m gone. At least make the effort.
xo, Angela
Masturbating BoyFriday, October 20th, 2006 | |
“What’s this? What are you doing?”
Caught. Caught jerking your teenage dick. You try to hide the porn magazine and pull the sheet up, but Catherine has already made it from the door to your bedside.
“Don’t pull that sheet up. A little too late for that, don’t you think? And what are you looking at. Let me see it.”
Sheepishly, you hand Catherine the magazine, turning crimson when you realize the page it is opened to. She looks at the page, then looks at you.
“You like playing with that little boy chubby while you’re looking at dirty pictures like this? Is this what gets you stiff?”
Catherine shoves the magazine in front of you, pointing to the high-gloss page. You stare dumbly at the filthy picture and feel your cock twitch. You glance at Catherine, hoping she hasn’t noticed. “Well,” Catherine snarls, “answer me, young man.”
“I, er, I mean…”
Catherine laughs. “Just admit it. You like it dirty. You want to do filthy things with bad girls. Like this.” She points to the page again. “What’s that guy taking up his ass? Huh? Tell me.”
As she says this, Catherine sits on the edge of your bed. In an instant, the anger that had colored her face is replaced with a sly smile. As she takes the magazine and tosses it onto the floor, she pushes your sheet to the bottom of the bed.
“Spread your legs.”
“What?”
“I said…” Catherine grasps both of your thighs and roughly pulls you down onto your tailbone while pulling your legs a part. “…spread your fucking legs.”
“Now,” she continues, “grab that hog of yours and start stroking it. Let me see you beat off that teen cock.” She reaches out, grabbing your hand and forcing your fingers around the shaft, then guides your hand up and down. “Go ahead. Up and down. That’s it. Keep it up.” She takes her hand away. “Do it. Jerk that meat.”
Your cock is rock-hard again as you start playing with it, watching Catherine watch you. You feel nasty and dirty. You like being watched. You like Catherine watching. A drop of pre-cum is already bubbling from the head. “Oooh, look at that,” Catherine purrs, “you like being a dirty little masturbater for Catherine.”
Moving her hand over your balls, Catherine cups them and squeezes gently. “We’re going to make little jack-off boy cum so hard,” Catherine says. Then she is putting the finger of her other hand into her mouth. She raises an eyebrow while looking at you and making sucking sounds. When she pulls the finger out of her mouth, it is glistening wet. “Guess where I am going to put this finger, babycakes,” she says, and you watch as she puts the finger between your open thighs.
When her finger touches your asshole you almost explode. “Not yet,” Catherine whispers, “keep stroking while I start working this finger in.” Not even realizing it you scoot down and open your legs wider. Catherine giggles. “Oh yeah, you want it bad, don’t you?” She starts pushing in and out, wiggling it around. You are moaning. It feels so fucking good.
“Do it,” Catherine says. “Stroke that cock and shoot the teenage load of cum. Show me what a dirty little fuck you are.”
Suddenly, she jams two fingers into you, all the way to the hilt.
And you are cumming so hard that you can feel your ass clenching her fingers with every jerk of your cock as it spews in every direction.
Easing her fingers out of your ass, Catherine leans over and kisses the gooey head of your dick. She looks at you, holds up the fingers that were just in your ass and wiggles them.
“That was just the beginning. I’ll be back later with a dildo just like the one in the magazine.”
***I wrote this for my erotica blog, Blistered Lips. And, since the day was one screw-up after another –including spilling hot coffee all over my keyboard and not being able to use said keyboard for almost the entire day (it’s all better now)– I decided to pop this in real quick. Now go to sleep. And don’t be looking at dirty pictures and jerking it, because you never know when Catherine is going to show up.