My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. -Rodney Dangerfield

*****

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his big pistol with the an 8 shot clip, and yelled, “Who in here has been screwing my wife?” A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, “You need more ammo.”

*****

Randall is leaving his office for the day, when a man calls to him, “You’re a cuckold.” Randall ignores him, but goes home and tells his wife, “tonight outside my office building, some asshole called me a cuckold.” His wife replies: “So what? You’re not going to listen to some random idiot in the street, are you? “No, I guess not,” Randall says, putting his arms around her and giving her a kiss. They spend a quiet evening  together and soon retire. The next evening, as Randall is again leaving the office, the same man is waiting for him and calls to him, “You’re a damn tattletale too.”

*****

Midieval Cuck Joke: Francesco Quartnense, a Florentine merchant, resided in Genoa with his wife and family. His children were thin and lanky, while those of the Genoese are generally healthy and hardy. He was asked one day why his children were so spare and of such a weak constitution, it being the reverse with the young Genoese. “The reason is easily given, ” he said. “I work alone at manufacturing my children, but you have quite a number of assistants in the making of yours.” It is fact that, soon after their wedding, the Genoese take again to the sea, and leave their wives, for many years in succession, to the care of other men, as they say.

*****

*****

Hope I made you giggle!

xo, Angela

or The Only Way to Serve a Woman

My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl.

I will be quiet for you or sing for you, or if you are hungry, let me bring you food, or if you have thirst and nothing will quench it but Arabian wine, I will go to Araby, even though it is across the world, and bring a bottle back for your lunch.

Anything there is that I can do for you, I will do for you; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do.

— William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Just look at it rutting around, the dirty little thing.

“The ultimate sexist put-down: the prick which lies down on the job. The ultimate weapon in the war between the sexes: the limp prick. The banner of the enemy’s encampment: the prick at half-mast. The symbol of the apocalypse: the atomic warhead prick which self-destructs. That was the basic inequity which could never be righted: not that the male had a wonderful added attraction called a penis, but that the female had a wonderful all-weather cunt. Neither storm nor sleet nor dark of night could faze it. It was always there, always ready. Quite terrifying, when you think about it. No wonder men hated women. No wonder they invented the myth of female inadequacy.”

Erica Jong
Fear of Flying