Yes, me loves & beauties & most-appreciated perverts, I took a little break.  What can I say? How do I defend myself against the surly comments, accusatory emails and self-righteous pouts?  How dare I?  Why would I? Enuff’s ennuf, already!  O Dear Beloved Mistress of mine, with much respect: Get your ass back to this blog — front and center, goddamnit, right where you fucking belong!

Let me be the first to say that there’s absolutley no defense for my abhorrent and rather lengthy neglect of this blog.  On the other hand, there’s also no remorse on my part.   I needed a  break.  I’d go so far as to say this breather, this intermission, this time out, was even very well earned.  Lengthy explanations would be tedious both for you and myself.  Let’s just say that if you know me well … you know why.

So what did I do?  Just where in the hell was I?  Okay, darlings.  Just remember you asked for it.

First of all, I wasn’t really G O N E entirely (at least some of the time) while I wasn’t posting to Zen Fetish.  I was taking calls (which is, after all, my main gig) — even for some seemingly interminable blocks of times here and there, now and again.  You just had to catch me at the right time.  And many of you did.  Just LOOK RIGHT HERE if you simply must have some verifiable, hard evidence.  Although,  by now you should trust enough to know that I only lie to you when I’m talking dirty. *wink*  The point being, silly boy, that if you really wanted to find me, you surely could have.

Anyway ….

I didn’t plan for a FemDom sabbatical.  Wasn’t penciled in on my calendar anywhere.  It just kinda-sorta happened.  And it kinda-sorta felt right.  And — as you surely know by now — I’m pretty much a girl who goes by the seat of her panties,

It all started when Bethany came to visit.  We had a lovely week, lots of girly-sibling time, lots of family time, lots of hugs and laughs and lots of tourist-y adventures.  But a week — when it’s only once or twice a year for sisters — is hardly ever enough dontcha know?  And so, after much pleading and begging and sweet-talking on Bethany’s part, I caved.  I threw doubt and caution into the wind and, before you know it, I was off on a two week adventure — a week in Cincinnati with my sister,  and then another week of traipsing around my home turf.  Bethany accompanied me back home too, so you might say we were a very bad influence on each other.  We were irresponsible adults having the time of our lives.  You should try it sometime because it was FUCKING AWESOME!

I won’t bore you with the details of shopping trips, dinners, spas, etc. etc.  I won’t tell you about the two encounters I had with two very ex-boyfriends who were wishing they weren’t so "ex" and probably thinking, if I’d only behaved better!  I won’t even entertain you with JewBoy’s petulant sputtering and impotent tantrum (when will he ever learn?) upon my return.  How dare I not tell this some-time companion who fancies himself my beau that I was going to be away? Huh? What? Me thinks JewBoy could use a savvy lesson or two from a few of my more obsequious callers in the practice of proper servility and appropriate expectation.

But I will tell you four things I learned while gone:

1. Thomas Wolfe was wrong; you CAN go home again.  You just can’t stay that long.
2.  When you suspect  that the woman effervescently showing off her Thomas Kinkaid collection just might be a few clowns short of a circus?  You’re absolutely correct.
3. Regardless of where you are, Chinese delivery always comes in a brown, paper bag with a menu stapled to it.  I’m serious.  Think about it.
4. A girl can purchase twice as many pairs of shoes when spending her money in close vicinity to an eroded Paleozoic land mass.

So, yeah, I  know.  That three weeks of R & R does not quite account for my protracted spate of none-blogging.   What was it?  Two months?  Maybe more, give or take a few days or a week? *sheepish grin*  But, as I’ve noted above, I WAS around.  I just wasn’t blogging.  So sue me, spank me, tell me I’m a heartless bitch.  But you know you still love me.  Go ahead, admit it. *batting eyelashes*

Truthfully and all kidding aside, I just needed a break.  I needed breathing room.  I needed to unplug and smell the roses. I wanted to read, watch a few documentaries, visit with my mother, connect with some friends.  I wanted and needed some technology-free moments.  I barely tweeted (check it out for yourself) and right now I’m sitting on over 1,500 unopened emails.

Don’t be mad at me, because, honestly, the business of FemDom PhoneSex is a taxing one.  If you are doing it righteously and honestly, it is demanding and draining.  And I’ve been doing it for a while now.  Only FemDom’s bleed, dontcha know?  But the good news, the great news, the wonderful news is that:  what’s good for me will definitely be good for you.

I’m back. I’m plugged in. 

And I’ve missed you.  Really

xo, Angela

    

among morning glories

the drip

drip

of lingerie

____________

Yes, it’s a non-traditional format (you can read about contemporary Haiku HERE).

But ….

Can’t you just smell the crisp-clean scent of the wet satin fused with the sweet perfume of blossoming morning glories? 

Thanks to HDB, who sent me ‘Haiku: Poetry Ancient & Modern,’ wherein I found this lovely Haiku by Alexis Rotella.  Ms. Rotella is an award-winning poet, with over 40 published books of poetry.  You can visit her website HERE and listen to her lovely Valentine’s Haiga HERE.

____________

Looking for Lingerie Phone Sex?  Meet my friends: CLICK HERE

And don’t you forget for a minute that I have a fondness for Girly Men & Boy Toys.  And one of us WILL be wearing lingerie.  You can count on it.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’…..

_____________________________

(via my email.  Thanks, sis!)

xo, Angela

I think I forgot something.  Hmmm …

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Picture Credit:  Toothpaste for Dinner

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder — and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana..

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall — the police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.   One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."

14. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger — then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said:  Keep off the Grass.

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse told her, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road — is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison — was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray — is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet — writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion..

23. Don’t join dangerous cults:  Practice safe sects!

__________________________________________

Lest you forget ~ I have a way with words too. 

I have a way with Dirty words: 

Conjugated Naughtiness.  Punctuated Deviance.  Grammatical Impuri-tease.  Personified Debauchery.  Stylized Kink.

Just move those sticky fingers and  CLICK Right HERE