On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.  One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken
to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer’s new BMW. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend’s life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story:

… you Don’t Need A BMW To Pick Up Chicks!

As I’ve said before, I really don’t pay that much attention to my stats here at Zen Fetish. Some who know me have oft said that there’s a bit of Scarlett O’Hara in me.  And I wouldn’t disagree.  If I’m in the right mood, I might even admit to a WHOLE LOTTA Scarlett.  Hey, it seems to work for me, so why fix what’s not broken.

But sometimes I do get around to checking out the Zen Fetish back office.  I really don’t know why I don’t do it more often, except for the fact that there is a whole lot of stuff on a daily basis vying for my attention.  And — fiddle dee dee! — isn’t observing and analyzing web site data someone else’s job?  Because it certainly isn’t mine.  While I do wear a lot of hats being the Phone Sex  Diva in charge of this rodeo, there are certain things which should ALWAYS be delegated, particularly if there are numbers and/or any kind of statistical analyzing involved. 

So my Curious Georges, wanna see? 

• small dick deep throat
• face slap
• mistress
• fetish phonesex
• cock tease
• mistress sissy
• cuckold types (and your type would be?)
  
• reasons for cock sucking
• Penis Whipping <evil grin>
• kinky phone sex (moi?)
  
• phone sex
• phonesex "angela"
• bdsm quotes for Mistress
• things to say to humiliate a small penis <batting eyelashes>
  
• small dick deepthroat
• humiliation small penis
• domina stern (she’s my buddy)
• phonesex, phone sex, adult chat
• renderings, bdsm
• slapping fetish (► oh my, did I say that?)
• high end phone sex
• sexy chat with girls
• cuckold types
• watch fetish
• deepthroat on small dick
• cuckold story archive
• humiliating hotwife
  
• femdom ageplay
• sneaker porn
• phone sex tips (► because I’m a know-it-all)
• penis punishment
• cock leash mistress (well, you would be more obedient)
• haircut fetish porn
• "fuck my cunt mouth"
• cross dresser for angela (‘cuz I likes ’em)
• porn pocket books
• deep throating small dick
• penis punishment
• Penis slapping and orgasm denial
• face slaps sadomasochism
• small dick humiliation (now would I do that?)
  
• cuckold sad story (Don’t worry, Mister, it’s only a fantasy.)
• phonesex
• teasing handjob
• sneaker porn
• teenage cuckolds
• highendphonesex.com reviews ( … I dunno :-/ )
• erotic blackmail
• cuckold
• phonesex roleplay (check HERE)
• fetish video
• porn punishment
• submissive face slapping
• deep throat little cock
• office sex fantasy
• sexy girl
• "cock-leash conditioning" (of course I ALWAYS train cock)
• phone sex, fetish

When I do bother to look, I see a lot of the same stuff,  some of which I find either mundane ( perhaps I’m jaded?) or predictable, like the phone sex stuff.  Some things make me giggle; remember Cock-Sucking Love Bugs?  (Which, by the way,  still makes an appearance every once in a while.)  Some things confuse me. 

Such as …

Did you happen to notice the green text?  Huh?  What?  That phrase, deep throat small dick, which is frequently showing up (as you can see) in various constructs, just doesn’t make sense to me.  How does one deep throat an undersized penis?  How is that humanly possible?  Is it wishful thinking on the part of a secret society of er, um "under-endowed" gentlemen who’ve banded together in search of the girl whose tonsils they can tickle?  That sounds like a reasonable explanation, doesn’t it? Because little penises rarely get sucked, let alone have the opportunity — not to mention ability — to deep dive into a willing mouth.  I mean, after all, why would she?

Or …

Maybe it’s the same guy?   Day after, night after night … searching, searching, searching.  Tucking his sad little member between his thighs as he huddles over his keyboard and types away, jumping from Search Engine to Search Engine, scanning forums and chat rooms, continuously rearranging his verbiage.  She must be out there.  I just have to keep looking.  Somewhere there is a woman who can swallow my teenie weenie. Oh where, oh where is the midget girl with the thimble throat?

  😉

xo, Angela

Okay, so we’re almost done with this damnable long Labor Day weekend. A weekend that means absolutley nothing to me. Predictably, JewBoy is furious that I preferred to stay home working to his company. In other words:Talking Dirty with Deviant Intellectuals, Sissy Bois and my heterogeneous assortment of perverse and fair-haired super heroes. How could I? Why would I? Honestly, I just really don’t like picnics all that much. And, really fellas & readers …. you kinda-sorta should know that already. 

I went into the weekend not expecting to get a lot of calls, because most nine to fivers consider this the blowout of the year, what with their three-day weekend and all. But it has been fairly steady with my regulars, and the few die-hards and like-minded who are out and about looking for mischief. After all, "mischief" is my middle name. *wink* Elsewise, I’ve been luxuriating in the snail’s pace and quiet downtime the choice to stay home has afforded me. ahhhh. I mean, after all, one can never get enough reading under one’s belt, nor take too many bubble baths.

So if you’ve been ditching the potato salad and badminton this weekend for a walk ( or if you’re submissively inclined — a crawl) on the wild side, have I got a Phone Sex Girl a few CHOICE Phone Sex Girls for you. 

In their own words …

Strong Mistress

I was born to dominate and overpower weak boys and turn them into feminine whore sluts. I want to turn you into a FUCKWHORE that we both can be proud of, using ALL my experience as a GODDESS in your transformation! I WILL DO THAT, and MORE. I will dress you up, teach you feminine ways, and eventually, when I decide you are ready, WHORE you out. I can be a sensual MISTRESS, or a Strict, Strong and completely Controlling DOMME. This depends on my mood, your obedience, and how respectful you can be to ME.

Visit Strong Mistress at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 06-97-813

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

Smart Fun Galiana

Curvy, Fun, Creative, and a little Geeky!  No bubble-headed bleached blonde here!  I’m happy to share my SAT scores, my IQ score and where I went to college.  You WON"t be disappointed!  I love sex and everything about it.  How it feels, how it tastes, how it smells, the emotions it causes, and that sweet blissed-out calm when everybody has had enough.  I wanna play with you, please you, give you what you want, and let you hear my big grin as we have fun together.  Come play with me!

Visit Smart Fun Galiana at NiteFlirt

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 94-63-253 

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~ 

Hypnotic Domme

Esoteric, erotic hypnosis.  Whether you seek the elusive floating escape that lies in deep hypnotic trance or a radical revamping of your behaviors, my irresistible voice will be your guide.  What I offer is REAL.  It is not rushed or faked.  I promise a cut above the usual — no more downward escalators.  I was once a hard-nosed skeptic myself, and I understand those who need a little more from inductions perfectly.  Try — and see.

Visit Hypnotic Domme at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 02-97-029-9

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

Luscious Lyndee

Looking for a naughty girl that will stimulate your mind as well as your cock? Go no further, I have a very active and creative imagination; guaranteed to make you spew like the Fountain of Youth.  Everything your wife or girlfriend isn’t, that’s me!  You never imagined that a phone sex experience could be so satisfying!  Bring to me your hidden fantasies, most outrageous role plays, extreme fetishes …  let me take you to new heights in phone sex!

Visit Luscious Lyndee at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 05-36-731

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

Arielle and You

One call and you will realize that you and I belong together. I will be the best friend and girlfriend you’ve always wanted yet knew deep down, you didn’t deserve. I am beautiful, sexy, and fun. You will love getting to know me.  Evenings, as you try to live your life, meet your obligations, you will find yourself distracted, your mind inevitably turning to me.  "Arielle, my beautiful Arielle. If only she didn’t have those perfect Breasts, those seductive green eyes, and the Ass of a Goddess."   I do, though, don’t I?

Visit  Arielle and You at NiteFlirt 

Or CALL DIRECT:  1-800-863-5478 EXT. 03-05-103-5

~~~~~♦♦

♦♦~~~~~

So …

If you haven’t already  picked up the phone to call one of these Internet Divas, do yourself a favor and take the time to check out the linkage I’ve provided.  I really want you to do this, because I’m absolutely certain you will instantly recognize that these women truly are PHONE SEX GOLD.   Each one of these woman, in her own unique and inspired way, offers a high-shelf experience that will seduce and intoxicate you.  And then she will have her way with you.  

And …

Just in case you don’t believe me.  I have it on the highest authority — my very own savvy phone sex clientele — that each of these girls rock the world of Erotic Conversation.  My callers are demanding and discerning:  they want the best.  Trust them, trust me. 

Then …

Strap on your seat belt.  Or wiggle into your panties.  Or insert your butt plug.  Or put on your cock ring.  Or just do the old fashioned thing and get butt nekkid.  ‘Cuz  between you and me?  And them?  You’re in for one very hot time.

xo, Angela