web hit counter

Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...

CLICK HERE.

Archive for the 'KinKergarten' Category

Troublemakers

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008

A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill

~Robert A. Heinlein

… those troublemakers being Jerotic and and Gracie Passette.

First a Bit of Naughtiness from Jerotic:

Movie Night
by Jeremy Edwards

The moment that I walked into the den and saw Jocelyn squatting on a plastic tarp in the middle of the room, pissing furiously through her lime panties–while she and the other women laughed uproariously and Steve Martin blithely continued his shtick on the 27" screen–I knew that this was not your average party.

"What in the world is going on in here?" I blurted, my eyes riveted on Jocelyn’s thick cascade.

"I *told* you this was ‘Laugh Till You Pee Night,’" said my friend Tina. Tina was rocking in an armchair, and she was wearing only a T-shirt, underpants, and tiny crew socks–which rubbed together as she intertwined her ankles. "You said you weren’t interested."

"I didn’t know you meant it literally," I said.

"Shh!" said another voice, from the couch–Caroline’s. I looked in that direction and, in the dim light afforded by the TV, I saw a couple of pairs of bare legs crossing and uncrossing. On the coffee table in front of Caroline and Denise, a population of empty beer bottles flickered their part of the story.

"I just thought you were going to watch some comedies," I persisted.

Jocelyn had finally finished peeing. She stood up, smiling radiantly, and smoothed her hands over her soaked panties. "Hi, Ted," she said, acknowledging me nonchalantly before seating herself on a beach towel. She now turned her attention back to the movie, and I could see that she was beginning to gently stroke herself through the dampness.

I had thought myself lucky this May when I’d found out that the house Tina and I had arranged to rent for the summer was going to be populated with what I deemed to be four of the most gorgeous women on campus–Tina and her three best friends. The reality, though, was that none of them seemed particularly interested in interacting with me. So, aside from my casual friendship with Tina, I’d developed a habit of keeping to myself. This was why I’d turned down her invitation to join them for what I thought would be a run-of-the-mill movie night.

I swallowed. "Do you girls do this often?" I asked Tina.

"Quiet!" said Denise.

Suddenly, the TV went dead. No power failure, no unplugged cord . . . just an appliance deciding to konk out forever.

"It’s not going to come back," Tina reported a minute later after fussing with the controls, her body dancing the whole time.

"Now what do we do?" asked Caroline from the couch, amidst a continuing flurry of crossing and re-crossing legs. "I’ve been looking forward to this all week!"

"I know. Same here," Tina replied. As she paced the room, I observed that her delicate minuet was approaching the scale of a tango. "I’m just about ready to do it, too."

"I’m not going to wet myself to a dead TV," said Denise. "I mean, what would be the point of *that*?" And with this remark she stood up from the couch, clutching herself, obviously ready to call it a night and head for a bathroom.

It took me only another instant to assess the situation and respond appropriately.

"I know some jokes," I said.

***

And then Gracie and Jerotic are gonna team up to make some (air) waves tomorrow night  — Wednesday, August 27, 2008 — on the The Cult of Gracie Radio Show

Now that should be very interesting.  But it’s all in good fun and of a good heart, as they are hoping to raise awareness for the Ultimate Burlesque, which goes to raise money for MacMillan CancerSupport.  How awesome is that?  And while you can always listen to the the archived show at a later date, if you listen in live, you can either email or call in with questions.

xo, Angela

Cleopatra Fuck Me Pumps

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

And you wondered why Mark Antony was pussy-whipped.

HDB (you’ve seen his comments regularly at this blog) recently visited the Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art, where he was checking out the Egyptian Exhibit.  He emailed me this picture with the subject line:

First Knock Me Down and Fuck Me Shoes.

Dontcha just love it?  Now, as HDB explained to me, these are legs to Egyptian furniture, possibly a chair or table.  But he prefers his first impression.  I’ve had such a good influence on him, don’t you think?

xo, Angela

(tons of foot, heel and stocking fetish pictures RIGHT HERE

Superman’s a Bitch

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

 

But sometimes he’s a sissy boy.  At least here at Zen Fetish.

Then again, maybe he’s a switch and/or a switch hitter:

It’s Saturday night and Superman is especially ready to party after a hard week of saving the world. So he throws on his cape and heads off to a party.

Along the way, he passes Wonder Woman’s penthouse suite. To his surprise, he sees through her open window that she is still at home, naked in her bed, lying on her back. Superman thinks to himself, "I’m faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it."

So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out.

At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, "Did you hear something?" "No," replies the Invisible Man, "but my butt is killing me.

Picture found at the awesome blog of Porno Person

xo, Angela

***

Pssst … Hey you!  Yeah, you, PQS!   Thank you.  It was just what I needed.  You’re a true pal. 

***

Oh, and here’s a bunch of dirty pictures

You Might Have a Small Penis

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

(For my Small Penis Humilation Junkies, adapted from the PIC blog.)

You Might Have a Small Penis if …

  • you sort through hundreds of emails in your spam folder every week, vigilantly marking every penis enlargement ad as "Not Spam."
  • women refer to your happy trail as the "trail of tears."
  • you’ve never been able to figure out why there’s a slit in your boxers.
  • a man at a bar has ever seen you, talked with you, felt your crotch, and STILL mistaken you for a woman.
  • girls affectionately refer to giving you a handjob as "pushing your button."
  • you think deep-throating is just a musical skill practiced by bass vocalists.
  • you’ve ever tried to cave your penis in on itself, and succeeded long enough to have inverse cock sex with a man.
  • it’s been mistaken for your belly button.
  • you refuse to watch porn because it’s "totally unrealistic."
  • you refer to the part of your penis below the head as the "neck."
  • you have to "look around" before you pull it out at the urinals.
  • you tell a girl to get ready for your manhood, and she giggles.
  • you tell yourself its perfectly normal to shower in your boxers in the locker room.
  • you put a condom on, and it slips off.
  • you hold your condom in place with rubber bands
  • you refer to masturbating as "pumping your sawed-off.
  • your foreskin hangs two inches past the tip…and you’re circumcised.
  • you encountered a genie and made the mistake of asking for a little head.
  • you own two sets of tweezers because one is designated solely for "unmentionables.
  • you’ve ever gotten a girl to agree to nasal sex because "well, it won’t hurt to try."
  • your girlfriend whistles It’s a Small World After All during sex.
  • your penis says YOU’RE small, but you know he’s just bitter.
  • you get blowjobs from amoebas.
  • your girlfriend brings a shrimp fork to bed.
  • you need to shave your pubes in order to urinate.
  • your girlfriend’s clit is larger than your penis.
  • your nickname has always been Little Willie 

(And if this just wasn’t any fun, well — go look at lots and lots of dirty pictures.)

The Joy of Sox — to Fedora

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

Jerotic (who’s a good buddy of this blog, showing up here and there, now and again) sends my way: 

Hello, everyone! Here’s a summary (because the weather is summery) of some recent JE publication news.
 http://www.xcitebooks.com/
Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, is now available, as is the companion book, Tasting Him. My piece in "Her" (ooh, that sounds … nice) is called "Cavanaugh’s Ridge." As it happens, I’ve been reading all the other writers’ stories over the past few days, and having a most wonderful time. The roster includes, among others, Lisette Ashton, Emerald, Shanna Germain, Sommer Marsden, Gwen Masters, Craig J. Sorensen, Donna George Storey, Alison Tyler, and Kristina Wright!
 
Meanwhile, my story "Any Friend of Hers" appears in a new Xcite books collection called Satisfy Me. [Cue "Satisfaction" guitar riff: enh-enh, enhnenhNENH-enhnenhnenhnenhnenh …] I’m sharing a table of contents with Elizabeth Cage and Kristina Wright in this one!

And coming up (like a flower–remember that song?) …
I was recently given the opportunity of participating in a wonderful program called Burlesque Against Breast Cancer. And, being the way I am, I had stripped down to my rudiments before I realized that the commodity under discussion was a display of Jeremy writing, not a display of Jeremy flesh. So I got dressed again and wrote a story … and I’m delighted to announce that it will be included in Ultimate Burlesque, a volume of burlesque-themed erotica that will benefit Macmillan Cancer Support. The book is being edited by Emily Dubberley and Alyson Fixter of Scarlet magazine, and will be published by Xcite. Authors include Portia Da Costa, Maxim Jakubowski, Kristina Lloyd, Nikki Magennis, Donna George Storey, and Alison Tyler!

Early in ’09, my story "Francine’s Kid" will be published in Coming Together: At Last (ed. Alessia Brio), a two-volume collection of erotica that will benefit the heroic human-rights organization Amnesty International. Each story in this collection involves characters who are different races from each other sharing love/sex/lust. The book’s release is intentionally timed around Martin Luther King Day. Erotica, racial harmony, Dr. King, human rights … I’m damn proud to be part of this! And I’m damn proud to be between the double covers with writers like Jolie Du Pré, Sacchi Green, Saskia Walker, and Allison Wonderland!

http://www.eroticanthology.com/atlast.htm
And I’m also super-excited to be able to say that a piece of mine called "Human" has been selected for inclusion in an anthology put together by the folks at Oysters & Chocolate! This collection will be released by NAL/Penguin in May, 2009. The O&C website is the home to a number of my stories, and I’m thrilled to be part of the first O&C book. (I don’t know the table of contents for this one yet.)
 
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Burlesque-Emily-Dubberley/dp/1906373639/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217958961&sr=8-1 
 

from socks to fedora,
Jeremy
http://jerotic.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/jerotic

 

 

 Hmmm …. I think I just might write to Jeremy and ask him for one of his little short stories to feature here.  I mean, after all, it has been a while, and he certainly never disappoints.  His writing is clever and sexy — with a scrumptious dose of whimsey that tickles my funny bone along with a few other of my parts.  He also happens to be one heck-of-a nice guy.  You, dear reader, should be gone now:  off to add to your ever-growing erotica collection.

xo, Angela