To the Vagina

Gwerful Mechain

Every poet, drunken fool
Thinks he’s just the king of cool,
(Every one is such a boor,
He makes me sick, I’m so demure),
He always declaims fruitless praise
Of all the girls in his male gaze.
He’s at it all day long, by God,
Omitting the best bit, silly sod:
He praises the hair, gown of fine love,
And all the girl’s bits up above,
Even lower down he praises merrily
The eyes which glance so sexily;
Daring more, he extols the lovely shape
Of the soft breasts which leave him all agape,
And the beauty’s arms, bright drape,
Even her perfect hands do not escape.
Then with his finest magic
Before night falls, it’s tragic,
He pays homage to God’s might,
An empty eulogy: it’s not quite right:
For he’s left the girl’s middle unpraised,
That place where children are upraised,
The warm bright quim he does not sing,
That tender, plump, pulsating broken ring,
That’s the place I love, the place I bless,
The hidden quim below the dress.
You female body, you’re strong and fair,
A faultless, fleshy court plumed with hair.
I proclaim that the quim is fine,
Circle of broad-edged lips divine,
It’s a valley, longer than a spoon or hand,
A cwm to hold a penis strong and grand;
A vagina there by the swelling bum,
Two lines of red to song must come.
And the churchmen all, the radiant saints,
When they get the chance, have no restraints,
They never fail their chance to steal,
By Saint Beuno, to give it a good feel.
So I hope you feel well and truly told off,
All you proud male poets, you dare not scoff,
Let songs to the quim grow and thrive
Find their due reward and survive.
For it is silky soft, the sultan of an ode,
A little seam, a curtain on a hole bestowed,
Neat flaps in a place of meeting,
The sour grove, circle of greeting,
Superb forest, faultless gift to squeeze,
Fur for a fine pair of balls, tender frieze,
A girl’s thick glade, it is full of love,
Lovely bush, blessed be it by God above.

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Believe it or not, Gwerful Mechain is

• A FEMALE
• Welsh 15th Century poet
• famous for her erotic poetry
• (and also her strict use of metre)

You might not be impressed (boo you!), but I certainly am. The again, if you are impressed, here’s some sweet Gwerful linkage:

• Gwerful Mechain and the Joy of (Medieval) Sex
• (not much of) a biography
• Yeah, baby. She’s got Wikipedia cred.
• Could this actually be her?
• How do we pronounce her name (not how you think)

Hope you had fun with this one. She’s inspired me. You will soon see why.

xo, Angela

PS. If you live in Australia, you can get the above peachy vagina as a sticker at Etsy.

PPS. Thank you, Mr. J 2.0, for introducing me to Gwerful. I’m truly smitten with her.

… and maybe for a few days.

But I am always in your heart and you are always on my mind.

much love

? ??? ? ? ? ?

My parents got me a guitar for Christmas when I was 13 and I went to take lessons. I told the teacher I wanted to learn how to play rock and roll. He told me, “Girls don’t play rock and roll,” and then tried to teach me “On Top of Old Smokey.’”

~Joan Jett

Please, Goddess Angela:

I really need that bigger cock to fuck me. It has been driving me crazy with animal lust just imagining the feeling of being stretched and filled.

I want to be the best sissy whore for you and, if you allow me to fuck that cock, I will make sure to really ride it and fuck it back. I want you to be proud that you created such a wonderful little sissy for your entertainment. I need it! I need to be used by big cocks, to feel them slamming into my tight little pussy, and then to be left gaping so that the next big cock easily slides in.

All in my service to you my beautiful Goddess my adored Mistress.

I offer my body so that you may subjugate my very being as you wish. I offer to you my mind to warp and bend and twist. I offer my soul to you, to forever be yours — brand me, tattoo me, claim me. I want nothing more than to be only yours: your obedient bitch to control in every way, your toy to play with, your slave to command. I choose to forever be in servitude to you.

But, Miss Angela? Just please grant permission for me to fuck myself with the bigger cock.

It is no longer about my pleasure; I see that now. It is their pleasure — his pleasure, her pleasure — that drives me. I am just a fuck hole, cum rag, cum dumpster, little sissy faggot that does queer boy sex. I need to be trained to take bigger cocks and prove my worth to you and to them. I need to be trained to please every cock, just for the cum that will fill my pussy. The bigger the cock and more times I ride it, I will cease to remember what an orgasm felt like without a cock in me. That is my one and only destiny. Praise to you for showing me who I was meant to be.

So please, Miss Angela, let me have that bigger cock. Let the training go further; reshape me, mold me, imprint me. Take me into the gutter, the glory hole, the dungeon. Always and forever all for you Miss Angela.

Just for you, Miss Angela.

Truly and only yours,
Big Cock Craving Slut

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Ya see, he has an assignment: to fuck himself every single morning with his smaller dildo, and to send me an email sometime during the day begging for the (much!) bigger dildo that he craves so much. He’s to concentrate on a transvestite kinkster, who uses him like the slut he is.

This is not his first email, as he has to do it all week. But this one was particularly articulate and so entertaining that I just had to share it with y’all.

xo, Angela

PLEASE NOTE: This post was written with this Good Boy’s permission. Because that’s how I roll. Except when the guy is a total asshole.