You are certainly masochistic, because there is nothing more scary than the term carte blanche, especially when it comes to FemDomme/sub relationships, particularly ours. I’ll go with your vision. I trust you in this. I appreciate that you are trying hard to find a way to make this work for me in a way that works for you.

I think our relationship always worked mostly because we’re both curious. You are curious to see what you can do to me and how you can push me. I am curious to be pushed by you and and feel your total control. Curious as to what I can be taught or trained to think, or to react, or feel. We’ve always worked well when exploring that curiosity and never seemed to get very far when one of us tried to limit it. Along those same lines, I think it works best when we admit and address the limitations that life itself puts on that curiosity.

Here’s an example: I don’t know how much, if any, of the things I’ve fantasized about over the years I’d really want to do. I don’t know that I’d love being forced to be a housewife in  service to an incredibly dull-witted, disengaged husband; or being trained like a dog, fed from a dog bowl, and chained outside. The realities of all of those would not be a lot of fun. But they are great to fantasize about, and obviously they get me hot. And I get off to the idea of the story.

However, this new journey, this idea of allowing for some reality to slip in, is much more different than the other things we have done.. Because I could see the dependence I fantasize about really happening. Really becoming part of my life. And that idea is awesome to me. And I like the idea that because I adore you and trust you, I understand that IN MY REAL LIFE I need to be treated like you are treating me. That I really am neither deserving nor capable of making even the smallest decisions on my own.

And that I will become grateful that you’re willing to take the time and effort it will take to make me understand what I really am and what I deserve to be.

So I don’t know what the rest of it holds, but I trust you, and I trust that you’ve got an idea of how you want this to go.

So, Oh glorious Mistress of mine, I’m paying attention, praying at your knees, accepting your 24/7 (limited yet intensely focused) total 360 degree (which is going to cost me a shitload of dollars, which I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is money well spent) control.

Tell me. Teach me. Show me. Bend me. Twist me. Instruct me. Order me.

Obliterate me.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

An email I received soon after a discussion in which a previous client and I came to an agreement. Of sorts.

Obviously, there is history here. Even a measure of affection and respect. On both sides.

I’ll leave it there for now. But do stick around for the occasional update. Because this is going to get quite interesting, and I suspect rather rapidly.

xo

… get pink pedicures with a crystal embedded in one red party nail

Happy Valentines Day. ♥♥♥

I adore and cherish every single one of you.

May gratitude and hope be your greatest gifts this Christmas.

xo, Angela

My parents got me a guitar for Christmas when I was 13 and I went to take lessons. I told the teacher I wanted to learn how to play rock and roll. He told me, “Girls don’t play rock and roll,” and then tried to teach me “On Top of Old Smokey.’”

~Joan Jett