Well, there’s my way to do it, which includes writing dirty stories, talking dirty on the phone and featuring hot writers such as Jerotic,  Pervert Savant, Sabrina Morgan, The Provocateur, Submissive Savant and Porno Person.   

Then there’s the kind of Smut Slinging which is downright nasty and makes me glad after all that I’m not famous — that I’m just here in my own little corner of the Internet, doing my own quiet, little thing my own dirty little way:

Writers on other Writers

“I have tried lately to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me." − Charles Darwin

"Jonathan Swift was a monster gibbering shrieks, and gnashing imprecations against mankind, …" − William Thackeray

"Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel organ is to music" − William Thackeray

"Shelley should not be read, but inhaled through a gas pipe" − Lionel Trilling

"This awful Whitman. This post-mortem poet . . . with the private soul leaking out of him all the time." − Lionel Trilling

"[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples." − Virginia Wolff

"[Henry James was] one of the nicest old ladies I ever met." − William Faulkner

"Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else’s dirty water." − Alexander Woollcott

"[Dylan Thomas was] an outstandingly unpleasant man, one who cheated and stole from his friends and peed on their carpets." − Kingsley Amis

"[George Orwell] would not blow his nose without moralizing on the conditions in the handkerchief industry." − Cyril Connolly

"[Hemingway had] a literary style of wearing false hair on the chest" − Max Eastman

"[Gertrude Stein] was a past master in making nothing happen very slowly" − Clifton Fadiman

"[Auden was] an engaging, bookish, American talent, too verbose to be memorable and too intellectual to be moving" − Philip Larken

"That’s not writing, that’s typing" − Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac

"It is only fair to Allen Ginsberg to remark on the utter lack of decorum of any kind in this dreadful little volume" − John Hollander on Howl

"[Alexander Solzhenitsyn] is a bad novelist and a fool" − Gore Vidal

"[Writers are ] schmucks with Underwoods" − Jack Warner

"[Rod McKuen’s] poetry is not even trash" − Karl Shapiro

"A sausage machine, a perfect sausage machine." − Agatha Christie on Agatha Christie

And thanks to PQS for hooking me up.  Although you’ve been known to criticize my prose and poetry time or two, you always do it just between you and me … and with much adoration and affection.  Which is probably smart of you.  (*wink*)

xo, Angela

This is just going to be a rambling post (with lots of fun links just 4 u) because, well, I just want to talk to you, baby.  Sex, sex, sex.  It's all we ever do most of the time.

Cuckold me, you whisper into my ear, beat my balls with a tire iron, tie me up and tease me 'til I cry for mercy, dress me up in pink panties and make me eat cock, pierce my nipples with your carpet needle, fuck me with that big leather strap-on you keep in the bed stand drawer, make me worship your ass and eat my own cum, make me stroke to your sexy voice counting me down, spit on my face and slap me and tell me I'm your pussy boy, spank my ass and tell me I'm a naughty boy, castrate me until I cum but put them right back for the next time, play nurse and give me an enema, super-glue my dick to my belly, maybe even just a missionary fuck me.  Fuck me, at least, for chrizt's sake. Just give me sex, sex, sex and more sex.

Geeze!  Can't we just hold hands and snuggle once in a while?  Is that too much to ask?  Just tuck that prick back into your PJs and maybe you'll get lucky later.   That's a good boy.  Now go get us a cup of that hot, fresh coffee.  It's Starbucks, dontcha know?  Only the best for you and me.

*** 

So I'm into this big Science Fiction reading marathon as of late.  If you know me at least a little bit by now, you know I am a vehement reader.  If I'm not in the middle of good book, I actually feel slightly askew–like something necessary to my well being is missing.  Which can actually cause me to be quite cranky.  I just simply can't go to sleep until I've read at least a page or two of a book.  (So remember that if you're thinking about marrying me.  The light on my side of the bed could be on for minutes or hours.  And it is not negotiable!)  

I'd been holding on to an Amazon gift card since last Christmas and as of late been discussing books in general with both Pervert Savant and Vanilla Savant.  I could feel myself revving up for a book-buying binge.  Twice before in my life — once while in grade school and again in high school — I'd detoured into science fiction, and had even taken a Science Fiction and Fantasy course in college.

I'm into my second big, fat anthology sci fi book so far and it has been simply glorious.  I love short science fiction even more than full-length novels. This is a seriously big pile of books, including James Tiptree's Award Anthologies 1, 2 and 3, Richard Matheson's I am Legend and Hell House, and Walter Miller. Jr.'s A Canticle for Leibowitz.

I also tossed in Valerie Plame Wilson's Fair Game, because I really want to know what she has to say about the Bush et.al ass-fucking she got. Then there's Peter Walsh's It's All to Much, because balance hasn't been one of my stronger points as of late (and it was on sale!) and Robin McGraw's Inside My Heart because she sleeps with the one and only Dr. Phil, whom I simply adore.

For brain candy I added a variety of crime novels, among them The Surgeon and The Righteous Men.  And if you've been wondering if we can escape 9 – 5, live anywhere, and join the new rich, I'll let you know after I finish reading The 4 – Hour Workweek.  Plus I have this darling of a book, a Christmas present from someone extra special, Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice To All Creation, by Olivia Judson (it's a keeper: buy it.)  

***

Which brings us to ponder upon a certain point.  What's my biggest fetish?  Books?  Or is it shoes?  Or is it six of one, half a dozen of the other?  I will tell you that the last time I went shopping for a pair of shoes — all I wanted was a pair of white, leather Keds — I walked out of the store with eight pairs.  Right now I have my eye on three pairs of Skechers, of which I will show you JUST ONE PAIR.  Are those adorable or what? 

Well, now you know why I try to stay away from book stores and shoe stores.

***

Recently, I've been flattered by a few clients writing what one might call Fantasy Fan Fiction, basing their imaginative pieces upon something I've put into their kinky, little brains one way or the other.

David Webb, my caller who jerks to the stars (remember?), took three of my written fantasies from Blistered Lips — Jack Off For Me, Masturbating Boy and FemDom Handjob — and weaved them around a fantasy starring himself and Ali Larter (scroll to December 8, 2007).  David is just the sweetest guy and is having so much fun with his blog, that he is like a kid, albeit a kinky kid, in a candy shop.  And he DOES take candy from strangers.  Every chance he gets.

Then Porno Person (of Purient Interests) turned around and put his cute little fingers to the keyboard to write a Vampire Fantasy titled Blood Red Saturday Night (scroll to December 20, 2007) based upon a fantasy we did on the phone a few weeks back.   It's a good read and much better than my original version, although I was making it up by the seat of my panties, babbling on about whatever was popping onto the murky, smarmy panorama of my kink-O-vision screen.

***

Before I forget, there's a rather new place on the Net for Phone Sex Aficionados — both callers and PSOs — to hang out.  The Phone Sex Node (click the link, silly rabbit.  then sign up.  and use an alias.  duh!) is sponsored by a Miss Eve Scarlet.  I recently joined, so you can find me there and some pretty interesting boys and girls.  Many members keep blogs, there is a forum, and pictures too!  If you join, don't be shy.  Let me know you're there.

*** 

Oh, and BTW.  If you're a caller and have forgotten to leave feedback for moi, you can always go here and DO IT RIGHT NOW!  Just remember what Isabella Valentine says:  Good Feedback is Good Karma.

***

Women's Ass Size: New Study

There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses.

The results are pretty shocking:

1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. Only 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaing 85% say they don't care. He's a good man and they love him, so they are going to keep him anyway.

*** 

So I'm outta here, sweetie.  Did you enjoy our little Holiday Hump Day chat?  What?  You still want sex?  Dream on, Buster Boy.  I have some serious reading to get to.

xo, Angela 

Are you in the need for some FemDom Intervention?  I think it's a pretty safe bet that a hearty portion of my readers are thinking, you bet my sweet ass I am.  The rest of you are thinking, well, it sounds kind of hard core.  But it is tantalizing.  I just don't want to have to call you mistress or goddess.  I don't want you to make fun of my penis, or call me names like dickwad or fucktard or loser.  And please don't hurt me or castrate me or pee on me.

To the tantalized but nervous:  Come on in, the water is fine.  And I do mean good old plain H2O.  FemDom phone sex is not always about pain or humiliation or degradation (although these are certainly facets which turn on a certain cherished and kinky cartel of mine).  FemDom phone sex can actually be, in the hands of a creative and intuitive woman, your every dream of uninhibited sexual interaction realized in spades.  And this is especially true for the meek or mild-mannered shy types.  

How can I say this and what do I mean, exactly?  After all, I do advertise the FemDom angle as  one of my specialties.  And there are obviously as many definitions for as there seekers and providers.  I guess all I can really tell you is what I do from my end of the playing field.

First and foremost, the underlying methodology to all that I do via the kink-O-phone is that we begin in the realm of fantasy.  Think of it as a "suspension of disbelief" for the period of the call.  I am quite frank about the fact that I am not walking around in leather everyday.  Nor am I consistently dressing up boys in pink panties, attaching weights to balls, castrating the inadequate, manipulating the weak-willed, forcing straight men to go queer, giving fem-dom hand-jobs to the lonely-hearted, strap-on training casual dates, or anything else a wicked little libido can conjure.

When I am on the phone, it is not about me and my everyday life.  It is not about you and your everyday life.  It is playtime, baby:  a salacious vacation or corrupt interruption or lascivious intermission.  After which, once your kink-bone has been twittered, you can get back to the business of living your hopefully happy and functional life.

I kinda-sorta ride the fence with this "woman in control" stuff.  Since we're in fantasy land, how much do I tell a caller about me?  Where do I draw the line? 

Because I do rather like being being behind the wheel in boy-girl games in my real life.  It's just in real life the game is one of sublime subtlety rather than the grab-you-by-the-balls immediacy so necessary to fantasy phone.  Talk is cheap and it seems to me that a true Goddess wouldn't need to brag about her prowess; she already knows it and smart men (the only men worth seducing) will know it too.  Which means that I don't advertise my life, I advertise my talents.  TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS.  But, if you get to know me well enough, you just might get to hear some inside dope.   

The other thing is that I happen to be quite good at fantasy.  I LIKE intricate role plays in which I am given a free hand so that I can work my magic, developing a story line around a caller's particular kink.  For example, I am very good at creating shemale fantasies.  (I could actually create an entirely new persona as a TS, so that I would more frequently get those types of calls.  And, honestly, I've thought about it–although I haven't done so yet.)

I also love age-play fantasies:  Either an older woman teaching a teenager to do foul, filthy acts for my enjoyment or a young fem fatal causing an older man to cross boundaries he should not cross.

Objectification fantasies are very difficult for most women (at least that is what I hear from my callers), and I happen to excel at them. Both mentally and creatively, they stimulate me.  In fact, this coming year I will be launching a new website, Household Utensils, which will cater to this fetish.  Hope to see you there.  *wink*

The point being made here is that I don't want to be boxed into one specific category.  I do things my way, not according to a silly virtual rule book, which some callers and PSOs seem to think is gospel.  Regardless of a caller's fantasy, I am running the show.  In some ways, I am the show.  While I won't hesitate to belittle and torture you, if that is where you want to go, I certainly don't approach every call from that standpoint.  

I "intervene" in such a way that I learn what is needed, and then take it from there.  I lead you along your own personal path of sexual nirvana.  Which, by the way, usually involves taking you just a smidgen beyond where you thought you might want to go.  To put it another way, as we are talking I am mapping out your buttons, finding every last one.  Then I tickle and caress those buttons, seducing you to shrug off that suit jacket, loosen that tie, unbutton that shirt.

Before you know it, you find yourself naked and vulnerable.  But also safe.  And that is when the real intervention begins.  Because once I have your buttons under my control, I have you under my control.   Which means you are screwed.  But in a very good way.

Third person stories and fantasies are a wonderful way to take control in a very quiet way.  I'm just the storyteller, after all.  It's not me, but the women in my stories, who cause you to do things that will later make you blush to think of them.  Welcome to Never Never Land.  You didn't think you could or should.  But I always knew different.  I knew that you could and should.  .

And in Never Never Land, with this FemDom Goddess, you did. 

xo, Angela

toys for tots

Most of you have probably seen this one before.  But hey!  New people, both vanilla and kinky and everything in between are just getting wired (Internet access) and/or finding this blog every day.  So, if you have already seen it, a little repetition isn't going to hurt you now, is it?  

And haven't you ever heard of Christmas Tradition?  Take my word for it, it's a good thing, this tradition stuff.  I'm a girl who wants all the holiday bling, including tree (no tinsel, please), egg nog, stocking hung by the chimney with care, home-baked cookies (courtesy of my sister), personally picked and loving wrapped presents, a viewing (at least once) of both White Christmas and A Christmas Story, and, of course, lotsa lovely holiday music.  So if me and everybody else can have it, aren't  kinksters entitled to their own little bit of Christmas cheer?

I actually remember seeing this the first holiday season I was on line, which was about 4 or 5 years ago.  I think it was called BDSM Christmas…something like that.  Richard (our beloved Submissive Savant) would probably know (even though he's kinda-sorta the Ba Humbug type).  Anyway, after five years, I do think it can actually be classified as bona fide tradition.  So grab your jingle bells, your whip and chains, and sing along.  You already know the tune.  And if you don't, then you certainly need a training session with Christmas Mistress:

On the 1st day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… A Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 4th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 5th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… FIVE ANAL BEADS, 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 6th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 6 Tubes of KY, FIVE ANAL BEADS,.4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 7th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 7 Crops a Swinging, 6 Tubes of KY, FIVE ANAL BEADS, 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 8th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 8 Floggers Flogging, 7 Crops a Swinging, 6 Tubes of KY, FIVE ANAL BEADS, 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 9th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 9 Candles Dripping, 8 Floggers Flogging, 7 Crops a Swinging, 6 Tubes of KY, FIVE ANAL BEADS, 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 10 Lords a Whipping, 9 Candles Dripping, 8 Floggers Flogging, 7 Crops a Swinging, 6 Tubes of KY, FIVE ANAL BEADS, 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees

On the 11th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 11 Rubber Butt Plugs, 10 Lords a Whipping, 9 Candles Dripping, 8 Floggers Flogging, 7 Crops a Swinging, 6 Tubes of KY, FIVE ANAL BEADS, 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

On the 12th day of Christmas, my Mistress gave to me… 12 Orgasms Screaming, 11 Rubber Butt Pluggs, 10 Lords a Whipping, 9 Candles Dripping, 8 Floggers Flogging, 7 Crops a Swinging, 6 Tubes of KY, FIVE ANAL BEADS, 4 Ball Gags, 3 Blindfolds, 2 Nipple Clamps and a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.

xo, Angela 

toys for tots