Looking for Sex:  In All the Wrong Places?

I've written about this before, that as a webmistress I can see the  search terms by which people find their way to me.  Because I am a most awesome-est blog-stress, dontcha know.  (And if you're a first time visitor reading this, don't run away.  Stick around and get to know me.  I joke around a lot.  And make fun of myself and of what I do and everything else that is within shooting distance.) 

The last time, in an entry titled My Bad Reputation, we were looking at my FREE erotic story blog, Blistered Lips, checking out the specific search terms by which people were finding that site.  Evidently both readers and callers found it interesting, as many commented either via this blog or over the phone as to such.  Although it would behoove me to pay serious attention to this type of info and market myself accordingly, I don't.  But, hey!  I've always gone by the seat of my panties and it seems to serve me well.  So excuse me while I keep doing what works for me.

But I do continue to monitor–at least periodically–the whole darned thing, because it is fascinating.  As of late, my eyes have been on this blog, Zen Fetish, and which magical yellow brick road searchers are taking to get here.

So are ya ready?  Wanna see what I see? 

• domination (little innocent moi?)
• pantyhose
• femdom wedding  (read all about it)
• Hermaphrodite Phonesex  (I am actually quite good at this.)
• Angela St. Lawrence  (Guess who?)
• mistress tease denial
• phone sex  (read all about it)
• denial tease
• cock sucking men (Now would I make a guy do that?)
• small penis humiliation
• zen fetish
• pantyhose blog
• cuckold fetish  (read all about it)
• smoking fetish  (here and here)
  
• fetish ladies in leather
• femdom story
  
• cock control (read all about it)
  
• angela +zen fetish
• penis humiliation  (Okay, I admit liking this fantasy.)
• zen fetish
• femdom
• you're dick is bigger than my strap on  (I think not!)
  
• "porn art"
• femdom professional (You rang?)
  
• deep throat small penis  (Is that even possible?)
• female domination
• catholic school girl fetish (read all about it)
• femdom wedding
• phonesex fetish
• angela st lawrence
• zen fetish
• tease and denial (read all about it)
• zen fetish
• panty boy
• erotic tease  (A favorite of mine.)
  
• smell my thong  (I will not!)
• angela st. lawrence
• small penis humiliation
• spanking +enema 
• humiliation small dick
• small penis humiliation
• tease and delay orgasm stories
• princess crissy (read all about it)
  
• face slapping
• erotic humiliation (read all about it)
  
• good girls gone bad  (What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?)
  
• women getting fucked by a small penis
• zen fetish
• cuckold (read all about it)
• frau story  (Say what?)
  
• dirty school girls
  
• sissy +panties  (Oh, the fun of it all.)
  
• erotic humiliation
• panty fetish  (read all about it)
  
• forced cocksucking (read all about it)
  
• looking for a dirty old man to use my sissy man cunt (You are?)
• smoking fetish
• fucked so hard her pussy bled  (Dream on, Herman.)
• face slapping a slave  (read all about it)
  
• small penis humiliation
• mistress femdom "eat cum" 
• cock tease  (read all about it)
  
• dangling pussy lips  (Yuk!)
  
• small penis humiliation
• bad girls bestiality (Shame on you!)
• cock sucking boys (read all about it)
• fetish women in chains
• panty ass fetish
• orgasm control  (Oh, yeah!)
• smoking fetish
• cum denial
• kinky catholic girls  (And your point is…?)
• i  like big cock and i am a man  (I knew that already.)
• sissy sex with mom mistress
• zen sex
  
• cuckold "worship my cunt"
• bad boy forced to cum
• pantified
• slightly big cocks  (hmmm….)
• cum denial story
• catholic girls  (read all about it)
• panties
• face slapping porn
• naughty santa claus
• santa claus sex
• good girls gone bad porn
• panty jerking
• smoking, face slapping

The above is just a partial list, since I only have so much time and so do you.  But at least you get a picture of how people are finding their way to the Church of Miss St. Lawrence.  I was surprised how fast my naughty little Christmas story got picked up.  The Internet Gods must have their noses to the grindstone, trying to keep up with the blogosphere explosion.

It's kinda-sorta embarrassing how much "small penis humiliation" (in some form or other) comes up.  It really is a fun dom/sub phonesex game, but it is only a game and not anything I do in my real, everyday life.  I just love the fantasy of verbally emasculating a man.  Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.  I will tell you that very smart, sophisticated men usually enjoy this fantasy.  I think it might be because they are so damned brilliant, the word play is an intoxicating form of domination…whips and chains are just too common for them.

Mostly the list is pretty accurate regarding the types of fantasies at which I excel.  At least some guys seem to think so.  Then there are a few who don't.   C'est la vie!

So, don't be shy.  Tell me what you think.

xo, Angela 

Somewhere, somehow, someway and a few years ago, a caller/client described me as "The Original Catholic School Girl Gone Bad."  I thought it was apt enough and liked it so much that I've used his exact phrasing here and there when promoting myself. 

It fits me and is more or less the truth about me when you get right down to it.  I even have a recorded fantasy titled as such, which is a re-enactment of a somewhat true-life adventure of mine in which, while in Jesuit college, I had a brief affair with my college professor.  I say "somewhat true-life adventure" because the fantasy is much sexier than what really transpired. 

Although many might find the fact that he did get his very first blow job ever from me kinda-sorta sexy.  And the novelty of a pair of young lips around his cock combined with his lackluster (and blow job-less) marriage probably goes a long way in explaining why he went a bit off the deep end and everything went seriously wacky.  The ending to that particular liaison was extremely unpleasant and rather scandalous-messy.  I don't recommend it. 

The thing is that I adore men and always have.  And I've always been able to wrap them around my finger.  This isn't necessarily a comment on my sexual prowess; it's more about insecurity and being the daughter of an absentee, alcoholic father.  I spent three of my four years of college in therapy addressing these issues, and I still am working on them.

But I did say that I'm working on the issues.  I'm far from cured.  It's a slippery slope with one step forward and two steps back.  And a girl has got to have some fun after all.  I mean it is called dysFUNctional, after all.  So why not?  And I am in the business of FemDom phone sex.  

There is something about a Catholic school girl that just drives guys crazy.  Is it the pleated, plaid skirt?  Perhaps the cute knee socks?  Or maybe, right at the beginning, something in our baptismal waters acts like fairy dust to change us into stupendous cock teases?  Probably, when you get right down to it, all Catholic school girls are destined to go bad, sooner or later.  At least a little bit.

Of course, the phrase "going bad" is very subjective.  I take it to mean going bad in a very good way.  I like being bad in a good way and I like being good at being bad.  Maybe we "enlightened" all-grown-up catholic girls should be known as porn-again catholic girls.  We got our training and knowledge regarding the male animal while growing up amidst the rituals, sacraments and orthodoxy of our faith; but as young ladies figuring out the very real advantage women have over men (we have it, you want it) we come fully into bloom in a very feminine way.  Our religious training is part of who we are.  Only now we use it to our advantage.

Which means applying the same methods of indoctrination with which we grew up, in perhaps a gentler way, so that our male conquests become our sexual captives.  We more or less create our own little mini-religion in which, for all intents and purposes, we are little Catholic Goddesses pulling heart strings and cock leashes with equal glee.  You see, we already know that religion can be a powerful thing.  Just ask St. Dominic Loricatus. 

Kneeling?  We wrote the book on it.  Confessing your sins?  We understand the need.  Renewal through sacrifice?  We've got you covered and will show how to do it just right.  Acts of contrition?  You can bet there will be a lot of those.  Holy Communion?  With us?  Hmmm … I do think at least a stretch of chastity might be required for that.  Maybe even a bit of sweetly persuasive CBT.  

Say it with me:  In the name of the cotton panties, saddle shoes and plaid skirts, God bless little Catholic School girls all grown up. 

Now don't you feel better?

xo, Angela 

Believe it or not, many women aspire to try the Phone Sex thing. I know because I get tons of email asking for guidance, suggestions and/or linkage. It is impossible to answer everybody. I try when I can, but usually I'm just too busy doing way too much to get to them all. So I thought I'd take some time to address some of these issues today.  

PLEASE NOTE:  These are only my opinions, but they are based on my personal experience and ethics. Hopefully my callers, my readers, fellow PSOs and aspiring PSOs will find it at least interesting, perhaps enlightening and maybe even instructive.

Yes, it's easy to get going. Just pop sex jobs or phone sex jobs or phone sex into your search engine and you are on your way. Many phone sex sites have an application page readily handy. I am not going to go through all of the possibilities that are available to the beginner. Doxy, of the Phone Slut Diary, provides excellent information for both callers and providers regarding your choices and what to expect.

Like Doxy, I am an independent, working for myself. This is my business which, unlike Doxy, I operate through the NiteFlirt platform. Yes, my business is very successful and I'm able to support myself quite comfortably. That said, if you are new to the industry, I highly recommend working for a service before making the leap to business owner.

Why? Because good phone sex is about more than moaning and groaning and bragging about how hot you are. If you work for a company–maybe even two or three–before spreading your entrepreneurial wings, you will get the experience you need to create a phone sex business that can stand up to the competition. And believe me, there is a lot of competition.

Plus there are many different types of phone sex. Working for a service, particularly one which takes any request (shemale, MILF, incest, mistress, cross-dressing, submissive, bestiality, hermaphrodite, golden showers, etc.), is the best way to hone your craft. You will get invaluable lessons in human relations and sexuality, and even marketing and customer service. You will also learn what phone sex niche best suits your personality and ability.

And working for a number of services will give you exposure to various business paradigms.  Then when you start shifting from worker bee to queen bee, you will have an very good idea as to how you want to run your business.

In the meantime, while you are in the learning stages and even when you're "in the biz," the internet can be your best friend. The information you can garner is invaluable, bountiful and free. Spend your time wisely by checking out the competition, noting what they charge, what they offer, and what makes them stand out. Research fetish terms and types of kink. Read the plethora of free erotic stories that are available everywhere and anywhere.

And remember that even when you are working for a company, you are still in the driver's seat. It is up to you to provide something of value and build up your own customer base. As I kinda-sorta said earlier, everybody and their mother wants to be a Phone Sex Superstar these days. Which means the caller has innumerable choices. How can you provide an experience which makes him remember you and want to call again?

Personally, I think it's imperative to value and respect the caller and his particular brand of kink. It's all about you and your professional integrity. Never judge a man by his fantasy. While you might not be able to fulfill a certain request due to TOS (terms of service) issues, lack of knowledge, understanding and/or ability, that doesn't mean that the caller is a degenerate.

Even when you are new and just testing the waters (very scary…I still remember every moment of the first call I ever took), your ability to treat the caller like a valued customer will go a long way in making up for lack of experience. It's a very easy concept: treat the caller the way you like to be treated when you are doing business with someone. And quite frankly, if you can't or refuse to do that, he will most likely move on to find someone who can. Repeat business is what will build your client base.

I often get age play or bestiality requests. The TOS under which I operate do not permit this type of call. I don't agree with that policy, but I have to follow it. But I don't automatically assume the caller is a perverted monster. From experience, I know that 99 percent of these guys are harmless and living very normal–and sometimes even stellar–everyday lives. And so I tell them that–with much regret on my part and no disrespect to them–I cannot fulfill their particular request. Most of the time, if you are nice, the caller will be nice.

A while back, a regular caller told me that the reason he kept calling back was that he was tired of rude "FemDoms" who didn't even listen to what he wanted, just going off on their own tangents. Which highlights two things worth mentioning here.

1. Specializing in FemDom, BDSM or even Erotic Humiliation does not justify a lack of manners on the part of the provider. Rudeness is not domination, it is crudeness. And actually reflects a lack of superiority, sophistication and talent.
2. Listening well is the ultimate secret weapon if you want to be a successful PSO. There is a Chinese proverb which goes like this: To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. Don't underestimate the importance of listening. Because if you do, there is no possible way to attain success. It's the caller's fantasy, not yours. If you insist on it being about you, you will end up with a phone that never rings.

A topic hotly debated in PSO forums and communities is the matter of pricing. Of course, if you are working for a service, they set the price. The company I got started with charged $75/half hour, with that being the minimum. Our customer base was comprised of smart and successful men. I got spoiled by the best, and now market to attract those callers. I like them a lot. And they seem to like me.

But when I first went out on my own, I couldn't remain competitive in my environment at the price I thought I was worth. I had to work my way up, so to speak. The buyer wants to know you're "worth it." And can you blame him? Before you set your price, it is a good idea to look at other providers offering similar services. And if you have no history of doing business to offer up as proof of your expertise, then set your prices a bit lower than those girls. Give the caller a reason to try out the new girl on the block. As you gain professional recognition and a following, you can then begin to raise your prices.

Lastly, a word about wish lists and tips. While most girls–many of my good friends, in fact–these days have wish lists, I opt not to. Why? Because, quite honestly, I want to be valued and paid well for what I do. In other words, SHOW ME THE MONEY. My job is to get the caller off and do it with (hopefully) a whole bunch of panache. Pay me well for my talent, thank you very much. And I don't want the caller to feel obligated or bamboozled by a not-so-subtle hint to buy me something.

Tips are okay, if they come in on their own. Again, I don't expect tips (AKA tributes), nor do I ask for them. Often guys surprise me, which just tickles me pink. This is all rather new, this "gimme, gimme, gimme" attitude on the part of phone sex providers. Unfortunately, I think many girls get into the industry with no thought about providing a quality and professional service. Instead their focus is how much they can get while basically doing nothing to earn or deserve it. Anyway, it's your call. Just think seriously about the ramifications to you and your business.

So, did you learn something? Or did I piss you off?

With Much Affection, Angela

The Hand:  Lyndee

As you should know by now, I’m not always perfect (shush–don’t tell the slaves). For example, I’m not the most tolerant person–at least in certain cases–and, ironically enough, intolerance is my major bitch. But I am good about celebrating my partners in crime, who are working it…in a good way. Luscious Lyndee happens to be one of those people. I mention her on occasion, and she stops by this blog quite often to leave a comment. I try to return the favor, only usually when I get over to her blog, she is yapping about sports, sports and more sports. Of which, despite being raised in the midst of a father, siblings, cousins uncles and even boyfriends who live for the game–any game, anywhere, anytime–I have neither comprehension nor interest. So it’s almost impossible for me to leave a comment of at least some import. Although she might be getting kinky with clown sex in the near future. You can bet I’ll have something to say then. Honk, honk. Last year, Lyndee expanded her enterprise to offer panty sluts and crossdressers a new place to hang out, The Pink Panty Cafe, which is an adorable little corner for all things sissified. Contrary to what you might thing, many PSOs have a special place in their hearts for sissy boys. I think it’s because they appeal to our maternal (or wicked stepmother) instincts. Well, now she’s gone and done it again–her dynasty grows as she presents a deliciously elegant new site, Earotica, where it looks like she will be offering some nice and some not so nice (x-rated? cross your dirty little fingers) essays and stories in her blog there. Maybe she’ll stop by and let us know. In the meantime, get over there and have yourself a peek-a-boo….and, of course, give her a call. Tell her Angela sent you and I expect a finder’s fee.

The Bush:   Burke

Bitchy Jones has a lot to say about Professional Dominatrixes and what a crock the whole shebang is. Since I do the Phone Domme Thing, you’d think I would just hate her to pieces. But I don’t. Quite honestly, I think she brings up valid points to which real men looking for real domination should pay close attention. Some random quotes:

• Defining the word, MISTRESS: A word that, if it ever had any erotic potential, has been completely destroyed by the femdom destroying triptych of femdom porn, prodoms and porn-drunk submissive men who write about their SO on their blogs like this, "˜Mistress said we should go to the shops."  Mistress is not her fucking name. Stop wanking and remember she’s a human-fucking-being.
• To WANNABE SUBMISSIVE MEN: You have created a woman repelling space full of unreasonable expectations of female physicality, predatory sexual creepiness, penis fixation (just because you’ve locked it in a plastic cage doesn’t mean you aren’t still letting your world revolve around it) and pay-for-play as an acceptable norm.
• On SEXLESS FEMALE DOMINATION: Why does so much of femdomland act as if being vaginally penetrated is some kind of huge annoying inconvenience to women that we are never going to grant you because,  "oh, you are not worthy."
• On a MISTRESS SUCKING COCK: I would rather suck *his* cock than have him suck a fake cock bolted to me. I *like* sucking cock. I don’t do things I don’t like and I have no desire to "˜get revenge" on men for all the cock sucking I have done. Besides I can suck cock from the top. Really. On my knees and everything. And I prefer that. I prefer skin touching skin. It’s this weird fetish I have for, you know, having my nerve endings stimulated.

So, Bitchy is bitching….and making a lot of sense. There’s a lot more…go see for yourself.

Collectively, Phone Mistresses are all about YOUR fantasy. We aren’t going to do the meet and beat with you. We are Phone Sex Operators, many of us utilizing a variety of identities to cash in on every possible kink, fetish or fantasy that might bring us a buck. We want your money and we want you to call back often. I am always having to remind my callers to get a grip. An ethical PSO would tell you the same.

Unfortunately, not all of my ilk are ethical. One of the things I always harp on–here in this blog and even when kicking ass on the telephone–is that a clear division between fantasy and reality is imperative. Otherwise, you might as well kiss happiness goodbye. I actually wrote a piece on this, Fantasy Mistress: Just a Figment of Your BDSM Desires, for the book, Sex Kitten Presents the BDSM Issue. In which I said:

When the fantasy of being dominated supersedes the reality of life, perceptions are skewed, relationships are handicapped, and growth (emotional and sexual) is stunted. Lovers, girlfriends, and wives are compared to the idealized Mistress and can never measure up. This is not only grossly unfair to these (very real!) women; it reeks of addiction and is a recipe for unhappiness for everyone involved. Ironically, it is the obsession that ultimately becomes the Mistress, a heteromorphic form of self-domination.

Not all men want to actually BE DOMINATED FOR REAL, thank you very much. They want their impossible fantasy, just for a little bit. They are self-aware enough, and perhaps even self-protective enough, to occasionally get their dirty little itch scratched (via a phone dom or a pro dom), and then get back to the business of their everyday lives.

I actually understand wanting a fantasy and not a reality. Because what I get off on by myself and what I get off with a partner are two very different things. But if you’re a guy who thinks you just gotta have the real deal, then you need to be reading Bitchy. She is a real dom…doing it for her pleasure and not for bucks. If she’s going to hurt you, she is going to do it her way. And it is going to make her very hot. That is, dearheart, what true domination is all about. Are you man enough?

xo, Angela