When I flippantly posted He Who Should Be Cuckolded recently, I thought I was done with it.  But then these certain entities just kept bugging me, getting in my way and/or causing me a bit of personal disharmony of sorts … and now I’m at it again.  What can I say?  You just can’t keep a good woman down.

But just how do you cuckold a consortium, a system, a cartel, a passel?  Fuck if I know.  When did I ever claim to be a non-linear dynamics theorist?  I’m just your every day, garden variety FemDom Phone Goddess.   I deal in kinky phone fantasies and impossible dreams.  That being noted, I’m certainly not going to let a little thing like inexecutability stop me.   In fact, in MY WORLD — where fourth walls are breakable and all boys are doable —  absolutely nothing is out of bounds or unattainable.   So, yeah, I’m going to cuckold these heartless –heartless to the core — scoundrels.

I’m going to cuckold these "theys" because they haven’t earned my fidelity.  Because, in fact, they’ve disrespected me (and most likely you … so be careful of who you let fuck you) and are generally morally corrupt and ethically underhanded.  Shame.  Shame.  Shame on them!

Let me state this clearly:  All spammers should be cuckolded.  No exceptions, no excuses.  Too lazy and too stupid to get a real job or start a legit business, they sit in front of their PCs pushing automated buttons.  I guess this is their idea of industrious ingenuity,  this is their definition of a meaningful vocation.  The spam they continually spit into cyberspace isn’t even directed.  I don’t have a Bank of America Account, asshole.  So why would I want to update my info?   I don’t have a penis, so why would I want to enlarge it?  Their pathetic attempts to get my attention are analogous to getting a stiffy and humping my thigh, because they haven’t a clue as to how to please a woman.  Cuckold the motherfuckers?  You bet! 

And Comcast, how about if I bundle your corporate, punk ass?   Upsell, upsell, upsell.  Your marketing tactics (snail mail, email, door-to-door, telemarketing — and whatever else the sterile boys in plastics suits come up with) are not aggressive genius; they are belligerent and abusive to the buying public.  And sneaking a movie channel in with a Sports Tier package?  Criminal.  You have no shame and should not only be cuckolded but forced into permanent chastity.  It’s time for you to take the ass-fucking, instead of bending over your customers.

In case you didn’t know, Wal-Mart is EVIL.  Trey Parker and Matt Stone know it.  Kenneth J. Harvey blogs about it.  Jim Wier basically told Wal-Mart to fuck off.   And you really should see the Robert Greenwood Film, WALMART: The High Cost of Low Price.  I’ve never stepped into a Wal-Mart store and never will.  I’d rather pay more, than save a little or even a lot — than spend my consumer dollars with a company who uses foreign sweatshop labor, forces employees into unpaid overtime, and provides such shoddy health care that its employees are forced to rely on medicaid supplements.  Cuckold and sterilize the bastards.  Otherwise they’ll continue to fuck like bunnies, continuing their rampant and destructive propagation.

Note to The Faithful Word Baptist Church:  Your pastor is a wackjob.  His words are poison, his agenda — that of a narcissistic, self-serving zealot. GET RID OF HIM.   True persons of God (Think:  Mother Theresa, Gandhi,  Buddha.  Think:  JESUS) do not promote hatred.  When the title of any preacher’s sermons starts with Why I Hate … you got trouble.  Big trouble.  And until you get smart and expel this jerk, send him packing, bounce his venom-spewing ass … well, I’m just going have to cuckold you as a matter or principle.   Because right now?  You’re bending over and don’t even know it.  You’re the congregation.  You’re the boss.  Fire that lowlife and get on with the business of really serving God.

And that will be enough for now.  I’m depleted, my rant is done.  Cuckolding pluralities, it turns out, takes time, effort and a whole lot of energy.  I’m going to take my tongue out of my cheek now and settle in to watch The Day the Earth Stood Still.  Maybe I’ll order in a Pizza.  No fluffers, no cuckolds, no lovers, no sex of any kind.  Just dinner and a movie.  Who da thunk it?  That a Cuckold Phone Sex Goddess would be doing that on a Sunday night?

xo, Angela

The Cuckold Movie:  The Cuckold

A Cuckold Story by me:  Benchwarmer

Another Cuckold Story by me:  Pussy Whipped Cuckold

Cuckold Phone Sex:  WITH A  REAL HOUSEWIFE

Cuckold Phone Sex:  FANTASY & ROLE PLAY with ME!

Well it was an extremely successful Phone Sex Birthday bash.  Some just called to say hello and wish me a great day.  Some sent tips without any solicitation on my part … which is always nice.  A certain Savant called and talked politics, since we’re both liberal to the bone.  Mr. A. called and left four stars over the phone … which gave me a giggle, because he loves me to pieces but is developing a habit of hitting the wrong button.  Lots of new callers took advantage of the special rate, and I did talk to a few extremely engaging men, whom I do hope will continue to call. 

In my none-phone-sex life, JewBoy (the real life kinda-sorta boyfriend) wanted to take me to dinner for my Birthday, and was simply furious when I told him I’d take a rain check, because I would be busy with my Weekend Birthday Dirty Talk Marathon.   But he did give me a lovely gold and diamond necklace, which I simply adore.  I went out for steak Thursday night with friends and am going out to dinner and a movie with other friend this coming Thursday (trying to talk them into a matinee so that I can work that evening).  I treated myself to a few piece of jewelry and two new blouses.  And best of all, I’m going whitewater rafting today.  It is my absolutely favorite sport and  am sooo excited. 

I’m on my way out the door even as I type this.  But here’s some recent reviews for you to ponder:

*****  Happy Birthday to the most wonderful girl in the world!

*****  Angela is truly amazing. Every time I talk to her she takes me on a trip I never want to come back from.

*****  I’d been away for awhile, but there is NO staying away from Angela! ESPECIALLY on her birthday! No cliche jokes about age, she simply is the very best you’ll call or have in real life.

*****  She understands sex, but more importantly she understands YOU! The most sensitive sex-organ is between your ears and she’ll have you doing things you wouldn’t even think of doing before you know you’re doing them just because she’ll be inside of your head and you’ll think it was your own idea! Happy birthday, dear Angela! Happy birth-day to you!

*****  ANGELA IS HIGHEST RATING ON NITEFLIRT*************

*****  Angela, Thank you for a marvelous birthday celebration, as you know, the candles on the cake went Roman for me. Don’t apologize for your voice, I understand your many devotees have been keeping you talking since your e-mails first went out; your voice in any tone is always a joy for me. Rest up and enjoy your special day.

*****   really good. wish i had more time

*****  Quite simply THE BEST there is on Niteflirt.

*****  I never have enough time to sample All of Ang’s kinks and fetishes… but it sure is fun while it lasts!!!

*****  I keep coming up with new ideas… Angie keeps taking ’em and making ’em better!  

*****  A new fantasy! – Angela never ceases to amaze me (and make me whitewash the ceiling!) 

*****  Angela is so scrumptious! She’s the cream in your saucer of milk. She’s the chilling "click" whne the chastity belt’s lock is shut. She’s the "good boy" you barely hear as you slurp, slurp, slurp away on one of those… (well, YOU fill in the blank). She’s a flame of desire mesmerizing you to submit, while simultaneously being your expert scold-ress, shaming you for the very same temptation you fell for. 🙂 Don’t neglect her, b/c she is a treasure of fine kink, arousing erotica, and good, old-fashioned naughtiness!

*****  Oh, I had to call Angela back! (So, didi I mention she was quite addictive?)  

*****  No, no, no, no, no! I mean really REALLY addictive!

As always, thanks … and be good!  Or at least be good at being bad.

xo, Angela

Okay … so I’m kinda sorta cranky.  But you have to admit — even you REAL men, GOOD men, SMART men — that SOME men just are an embarrassment to your gender.  Come on, you know it’s true.  So for the sake of good fun and to concurrently aid in shaking off my bitchiness, I’ve come up with a short list.  It could be a long list, so count your blessings.  I’ll refrain from emasculating the obvious —  Bill Clinton who gets a boner every time he passes a trailer park or John Ascroft who apparently gets a stiffie for aluminum nipples.

There’s plenty of others who’ve been rubbing me the wrong way … and when a FemDom Goddess (wink) gets irritated she just starts thinking evil thoughts about what she’d like to do or see be done to the offenders!  On a day like this I think the world itself would be a better place if a certain segment of its inhabitants were just finally, once-and-for-all, forced into panties with a butt plug shoved up their ass for good measure.  Going so far as to cuckold all of them, though, would be problematic:  If we cuckold all of them,  who would we cuckold them with?  Hmmm …  Seems the fantasy is NOT reality, after all.  Who knew?

Anyway this all started the other day when Rick Sanchez showed up at CNN in his regular time slot.  Say what you want about the election, it got me interested in THE NEWS.  Before Obama I was your typical twenty-something wannabe Princess type, worrying more about my pedicures and the perfect seasonal purse (never did find a good white one this summer) than the political landscape.  So — all in all — it’s been a rather good thing  … except the television is on around here a lot more than it used to be, as CNN — rather than classical rock — is now the background noise to my days.

But when Sanchez shows up, well, he is so weigtless and artificial that I’ve gotten to where I actually turn off  or at least mute the TV.  What in the hell is he doing?  Twittering and Face Booking and reading user comments … there’s just no substance here!

Then there’s the guy who sent me this email yesterday:  My best friend is Mr. X.  I masturbate to him all the time and he has no idea. I love talking about him via email and giving out REAL information about him.  Now I ask you readers, is that creepy or what?  Who does this asshole think he is to give out real info about anybody he knows, regardless of whether he jerks off to thoughts of them or not?  Particularly to a PSO, whom he knows nothing about.  And you can bet this email was copy and pasted into to dozen of emails and sent to dozens of girls.  Bleh.  If anything, he should give me his own real info, so I can tell Mr. X (and, yeah, I substituted the Mr. X for the real name), and everyone you know, what a loser pervert you are.

Wes Hayden, the cowboy contender on this year’s The Bachelorette, certainly deserves to have his fucking rights taken away.  Maybe even some enforced chastity.  If you weren’t watching (now that I TiVo, there’s a little too much of what I normally wouldn’t watch being recorded), Wes was one smooth talker (and country singer) who admitted openly that he was really there to promote his career.  And while his motives have since been debated ad nauseum all over the net, he did at least hint on more than one occasion that he already had a longterm girlfriend waiting back in Texas.  What a dirtbag!  And he was so smarmy … singing and twanging his acoustic guitar (geetar?) under Jillian’s balcony ala Romeo and Juliet.   Which might have been at least somewhat charming if he had any serious talent, rather than just being able to carry a tune.  Oh, and apparently, he’ll do anything for a buck.

Of course, I’ve just got to include the boorish and doltish Jon Gosselin, of Jon and Kate Plus 8, who abandoned his not-so happy-nest to trip the light fantastic with other D List not-so-super stars while schtupping  his (now ex) wife’s doctor’s daughter.  Maybe he thinks the earrings make up for his rude and crude (not to mention very public) behavior; I think he’s a loser putz of a man.  Yes, Kate was bossy and overbearing.  But when you have a puerile, self-centered numbskull who can’t hold a job for a husband, you really don’t have much of a choice.  I mean, after all, someone has to wear the pants!  A&E really needs to get around to changing the name of that show.  Possibly to Kate Plus 8?  Better yet and more accurately:  Kate Minus Wimp-Ass Whiner Boy Plus Eight.  And good for her and the kids because now they really will live happily ever after.  Good riddance to rubbish and dead weight.

And one more.  Just one more to cuckold.  At least for today.  You see I was sneaking down the book aisle at my grocery store the other day, even though I promised myself that I’d steer clear of all things hardback and paperback until I at least read at least ten of the hundred or so books I have piled here and there.  … and there.    and maybe there.  I didn’t buy a book, but I was amazed at what I saw among the hardbacks.  Which was UNMASKED:  THE FINAL YEARS OF MICHAEL JACKSON, by Ian Halperin.  Shame on him!  Could he get that book out fast enough after MJ died?  Talk about cashing in.  SCUM!  I checked out this poor-excuse-for-a-writer (he writes exposes … bleh!) at Amazon and … surprise!  The book only gets two out of five stars.  Goody.  And you can bet I would cuckold his ass.

Ahhhhh  … I feel much better now.

xo, Angela

Five Star CUCKOLD PHONE SEX:

Cindy Supreme

Saucy Housewife

Dr. Joy

Texas Bell

A sub-fetish of Erotic Humiliation, Penis Humiliation is the hottest thing in Phone Sex these days.  And while some readers might think this an odd fantasy/fetish/kink, most Phone Sex Operators are quite used to it and actually have a lot of fun with it. 

Think of it as a form of VERBAL BDSM.  I mean, after all, the Phone Domme can’t really use whips and chains and Ben Gay (ouch, indeed, very much).  But she can use words.  It is arguably more erotically powerful to dominate with real words — real bad, mean words — rather than "and now I am going to beat you."  And what matters most to a man?  His dick.  It may seem a trite observation, but it is nonetheless true. 

I often say that our poor men — they just can’t help it.  After all, it’s like God created them with the supreme disadvantage of having a gear shift sticking out right there, right there in front for the world to see … even with the cover of trousers!   How can the NOT think about it all the time?  And it makes them very vulnerable, doesn’t it?

So why not go for the girth?  Make every word count and hit him with those words where it hurts the most?  Only, in this case, with pain — there’s no gain.  Little Willie leaves the encounter none the worse for the wear … but none the better.  His sad puny prick is still sad and still puny.

It makes sense.  Penis size is very much on the male mind (don’t ask — he won’t admit it) at least some of the time. Hornswaggling, doolally spammers bank on it.  In my personal email recently:

• Female Orgasms:  Bigger means Better for your Woman
• Your tool is so small she hardly finds it in bed?
• Penetrate Deeper
• Enhance your masculine tool
• Fill out your erectile tissue
• Enlarging your male weapon means winning a competition
• From now on you will be able to satisfy each size-queen
• Your male power will return like a boomerang

Now, admittedly, this Mystery Meat (pun intended) was more than likely sent from the one and only internet cafe in some backward jungle — the spammer believing the hype of myriad porn sites.  But he is on to something and it must make money, because everybody finds this stuff in their in-boxes.    Even me, and I have a very feminine personal email address.  It’s the marketing method of Quantity over Quality … just like a Size Queen Fantasy!  The irony is delicious.

Besides being a subcategory of Erotic Humiliation, Small Penis Humiliation is a major theme in Cuckolding Fantasies.  Particularly when the Cuckoldress’s lovers are studly black bulls.  It’s the stark differences that give these fantasies their edge:  Black vs. White, Woman vs. Male, Wife vs. Husband, Large vs. Small.  So, even if it’s not quite your thing, perhaps you can understand that, for others, it’s sizzling hot.

Forced Bi Fantasies will often contain at least a portion of Small Penis Humiliation, with size functioning to underline one’s role in the fantasy:  large equals dominant, small equals submissive.  The feeling of tractability can be deeply enhanced when the physicality of size is used as emphasis.

So Big Cock, Small Cock, Average Cock … what’s it all about, Angela?

Well, you might recall that I actually wrote an about this in an essay, Erotic Humiliation is Not an Oxymoron, for the book, Sex Kitten Presents the BDSM Issue.  While I don’t discuss Small Penis Humiliation per se, I do talk about the "fantasy" of being verbally humiliated, taunted and abused by a beautiful and poweful FemDom. 

As far as me, personally:  Is bigger better?  Do I or don’t I?  Well, you’ll just have to READ ALL ABOUT IT.

xo, Angela

So, as usual,  you’ve been finding me in the most unusual ways.  Which I don’t mind and to which I hardly ever even pay any real attention, even though — as most website owners/bloggers do — I have the ability to check a variety of stats, including the Key Words readers are popping into Google to find their way from there to here.    Occasionally, though, I do take a peek just to see what’s cooking.  I have to say, sometimes what I see is a real head-scratcher. 

And once you take a gander at  Zen’s recent Key Words, you”ll probably be scratching too.  I mean what exactly is urban porno and how would it differ from, say, pastoral or suburban porno?  Who is looking for what — when he types mistress v penis into  his search engine?  Maybe he’s missing Mistress V as much as I am and getting all teary-eyed over the good old (Small Penis Prevention) days?

And then there’s those certain phrases that make me ask:  What was he thinking, drinking, snorting and/or injecting?  Look at the  red text.  See it?  This guy is definitely under the influence of something — but I’m thinking it’s most likely the influence of his naughty penis, which would also be known as STIFF PRICK SUPiDITY SYNDROME, wherein the gray matter turns gelatinous and reality takes a flying leap.  For the record, I will NOT do Phone Fantasies re. to Obama.  It’s just too silly.

Copied and pasted directly from my stats:

pussycunt (since when was this one word?)
phone sex
femdom wedding
penis punish
female dominant phone sex
game small penis humiliation
phone sex quote
cuckold respect wife\’s boyfriend (a great concept — in theory)
phone sex
face slapping bdsm
haircut fetish chat (I got spanked on this one)
face slapping bdsm
zen fetish blog (were you looking for moi’?)
teenage cuckold
obama big ears big cock (???)
PHONE SEX
phone sex quote
angela st. lawrence
small penis humiliation
femdom phonesex
mistress v penis (I miss my friend!)
urban porno
phone sex
cuck submissive
pantiesformen (uses spaces in search engines!)
free face slapped sex
small penis humiliation (more of that?)
girl sneaker porn
sexual face slapping
femdomme phone sex
SMALL PENIS HUMILIATION
penis punishment
tease denial
cougars milfs
angela st. lawrence
have best phone sex
aged milfs
what cuckold
fuckme red lipstick
"small penis" sister (uh, what?)
leopard beastiality  (dangerous!)
blackmailed erotic (about which I said)
learning the fetish blackmail
erotic blackmail
small penis humiliation
MIlf/cougars
"haircut fetish"
parochial school erotic stories
small penis humiliation
cock sucking fags
forced cuckolds "Cuckold Stories"
milfs and cougars
faceslapping mistress
face slap mistress
getting fucked while busy
zen fetiche (ooh, so fancy)
sexy slapping
phone sex small penis
SMALL PENIS HUMILIATION
sissies getting a butt plug
phone sex small penis humiliation
erotic humiliation stories cotton panties
milf pedia (could someone clue me in on this one?)
Slap submissive
sneaker girl fetish
small penis phone sex (ah, yeah, i’m getting a bad rep)

***

So what do you think?  Am I a bad girl?  Or a good girl who just happens to know how to be bad at the right time?  And isn’t it interesting all the face slapping and humiliation seekers who find their way here?  What must you think of me?  But there is a healthy sampling of other stuff (milf, tease & denial, phone sex quote, etc.).  One could make the argument (and I am) that the list reflects my creativity and flexibility — my eclectic, sexy genius.  *wink*

xo, Angela