The Phone Sex Ignore Line
What’s it all about? Why do men pay by the minute — often at inflated rates — to listen to women going about the business of their daily lives?
Don’t dismiss this ?!FETISH!? out of turn. While I admit it seems kinda-sorta weird (even to me, but you didn’t hear me say that), I also know that in the world of Erotic Phone, anything and everything is hot to someone, somewhere … or soon will be hot, when some guy thinks it up. And boy do youz guyz think it up. Sometimes even a girl will have a Fetish … like the young lady who begged the boys to shove crayons — lots and lots of crayons — into her pussy (don’t ask).
But you and I both know that Female Fetishes are the exception rather than the rule. And I certainly do not know of a woman IN THE ENTIRE WORLD who would pay $1.69 or $5.99 or $9.99 or even $39.99 just to listen in whilst someone um …
… let’s see:
- makes a cheeseburger run
- washes a load of clothes
- zones out with Angry Birds
- brushes their teeth
- reads a book
- talks to someone else on the other line
- reads email to the dulcet tunes of Kid Rock
- takes a shower
- takes a walk
- takes a nap
- takes a load off, Annie
- takes a poop? *eww*
Sounds exciting, huh? Okay, maybe not so much. But to each his own, so remember, boys and girls, to Raise Your Glass!
Who are we to judge? If you’re tempted to roll your eyes or snicker, just remember beloved Kinkster… I’ve got your number. Er, I mean you’ve got my number. Which means I know your Fetish, you Kinky ‘Lil Bugger. In fact, in many cases I’ve introduced you to your Fetish (and you’ve been happier for it). And if you came to me with Fetish already in Hand (and your dick in the other), I most certainly and gleefully welcomed you and your Fetish (and your dick). So let us carry on with the matter of these Phone Fetish Ignore Lines. Shall we?
First of all, let us get our heads around the mindset: Female is Goddess. Female is beautiful. Female is mysterious.
You start with this premise and you see that all of womanhood is enigmatic to the male of our species.
Some men are so frightened of the Feminine Prowess that they could never admit this, even to their secret selves. Usually these types are blowhards, braggarts and bullies. They dismiss women as second class citizens, hang out at titty bars, and play a lot of macho sports. When they call Phone Sex Operators it’s to brag about how big their penises are, but we know better. Secretly they sniff panties, but hate themselves for it.
Others are just walking through life according to a set of rules (the dreaded Living In A Box Syndrome) which keep their lives mundane and regulated. These types usually roll atop the significant Female in their lives every other Saturday night and it’s over within all of three minutes. They rarely masturbate, because they just don’t have the imagination for it. They rarely call Phone Sex Lines, because they wouldn’t know a hot fantasy if it hit them in the balls. If these dudes found a pair of panties under their pillow they’d jump right out of bed to put them where they belong — the hamper — because that’s the rules!
But then there’s the group we’re specifically talking about; those who are in awe of all that is feminine. They are mesmerized by the muliebrous Je ne sais quoi, and obsess with every little detail of who and what she is. To listen in to her going about her day, talking to her friends, getting a pedicure, shopping for heels … is heaven. To imagine the tilt of her head as she puts on make-up, or the scent of her just-shampooed hair, or hear the click of her heels and wonder what kind of stockings she is wearing is Heaven, is Nirvana, is Transcendental, is Supernatural.
These guys are probably a little bit addicted to the ache and obsession of not having, not knowing, not understanding, not touching. But wanting, wanting, wanting. Craving, craving, craving. Adoring from a distance. They understand their “non”-place in the woman’s life and even embrace it. This is their lot, their fate, their destiny. They will not only worship from afar, they will pay to do it. Because She is the Goddess. They are grateful that She lets them at least listen, as they have no right to interfere in or interrupt the ongoing Sacrament of Her Daily Life.
And Goddess forbid that they would insult her with their basest-of-base need for sexual release, like the Man-Animals (manimals?) that they are. If they masturbate (and many do), they do so quietly and unobtrusively, or even wait until after the call has ended.
A secondary group of these guys crave Erotic Humiliation. These men are the type who would prefer to be called worms, scum, loser, etc. and get off on the fact that not only is this woman they are listening to ignoring them, but that she finds them repugnant and perverted. They LIKE that she charges them. Sometimes they even want her to raise her rates, to use and abuse their wallets with no concern for them whatsoever. They are disgusted with their disgusting selves and feed off of her disgust with them. The higher the rate, the colder her dismissal … the harder their dicks get. I’m not sure when this group blows their load, but I’m certain it’s an insouciant, phlegm-y mess. And I hope it’s on their face.
Personally, I don’t have a specific Ignore Line. And while I do take the occasional Ignore Call, I’m very picky about who I ignore. Sometimes this group — particularly the secondary one — are short on manners, which drives me FUCKING BONKERS.
But you already knew that, didn’t you?
xo, Angela
