… hmmmm

Then again, I think I know a lot of these guys.

And I’m not just talking about my sweet humiliation junkies.  If ya know what I mean.

(buy the t-shirt)

Phone Sex Quote of the Day

I don’t like lesbian porn so much.  I want it to be about me.  And if they’re into each other, I don’t fit into the picture.  (from Mr. S., who is so charming he should be in sales — he’d be a millionaire)

Phone Sex Sweetie of the Day

lil girl chloe:  Eighteen and new on the scene, pigtailed Chloe is cute as a button … and she likes oral sex!

xo, Angela

Sexism
David Lehman

The happiest moment in a woman’s life
Is when she hears the turn of her lover’s key
In the lock, and pretends to be asleep
When he enters the room, trying to be
Quiet but clumsy, bumping into things,
And she can smell the liquor on his breath
But forgives him because she has him back
And doesn’t have to sleep alone.

The happiest moment in a man’s life
Is when he climbs out of bed
With a woman, after an hour’s sleep,
After making love, and pulls on
His trousers, and walks outside,
And pees in the bushes, and sees
The high August sky full of stars

And gets in his car and drives home.

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Thanks to PQS, whose appreciation of poetry delights me to absolutely no end.  Because he used to make fun of my "poetry thing."  And now he’s a gleeful and eager confederate.  You can read more about Mr. Lehman HERE.  And did you know he wrote a poem for Obama’s inauguration?  Well he did, and you can see him read it HERE.

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Phone Sex Quote of the Day

A contract of mutual self-delusion exists between the caller and the phone sex operator.  The caller imagines he is speaking to his most secret fantasy — and whatever it might be — animal, vegetable or mineral, the operator willingly plays the part.

Phillip Toledano (Phone Sex: The Book)

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Phone Sex Babes of the Day

Young Ashley:  She never says no!

Hot Hanna:  She will do anything to please her Master!

Frannie the Trannie:  Forced Bi and Sissy Training!

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Okay … that’s all for today.  Off to gamble with my mother.  Wish me well, cross your fingers and your toes.  And call soon.

xo, Angela

Nymphomanic Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What’s your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.  Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.  I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I’m sorry," she said, "I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein.  But my friends call me Bubba.

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I don’t remember who sent me that, but it sure is funny.  Was it you, Puzzler?  I’m thinking it was.  Or perhaps it was my sister, Bethany?  Thanks to whomever. 

And while I’m at it, this next few days are going to be/might be/could be pretty busy so look for me, but don’t expect/do hope for much.  Tomorrow (Monday) I should be working from noon-ish until midnight … but that could change depending on a few circumstances that might pop up.  I don’t think they will be a problem, but just in case — you’re forewarned.  Then Tuesday is a BIG morning with my very expensive and talented hairdresser for my much needed and beloved highlights.

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Phone Sex Quote of the Day

Even though I hadn’t a clue and was totally taken by surprise, I wasn’t angry or turned off in the least.  I just thought, "Well!  What do you know?"  — Mr. A. telling me about his reaction to finding out the "lady" he’d been seducing (I just thought she had a lot of bush) was a TS (transexual).  And he DID continue with the seduction.  

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Phone Sex Scunt (scum + cunt) of the Day

Sissy M, who really really pissed me off today.  Get a grip and learn to act like a man … even when you’re in panties.  There is no excuse for your behavior and you are totally not getting what the phone sex experience is about.  Because, guess what?  It’s the same as everything else in life:  you get what you put into it. But then again, I suspect you don’t put much into life, so … don’t call me.  I’ll call you.

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DEAR READERS:  I am sooo sorry for losing my cool and telling off Sissy M. right here in public.  I really, really, really try to ignore these guys (just block their calls and move on) and pay attention to the good guys who deserve my attention,  like Mr. A. (who is a stand-up kinkster).  BUT that idiot I interrupted our blogging adventure with his call only to hang up at one minute.  

And so … well … er … just except my apologies and keep adoring me.

xo, Angela

Blame it on the totally awesome Bitch Trainer I recently hired.  She is torturing me and I am loving it.  I told her that due to fairly regularly jogging my legs were more than fine, that I wanted to concentrate on upper body strength.  OOOOHHH … she so took me at my word.  Damn her!  God bless her!  I want to have lesbian sex with her.  I want to have her babies.  She’s my own personal non-sexual Dominatrix and I worship her.  She is whipping me into uber shape and I’m giving her lots of money to do it!  It’s the perfect relationship, because she won’t let me top from the bottom.  I have a habit of wanting to be always right, always in charge, always knowing what’s best … for me and for everybody else.

Which — while it works in my line of work, FemDom PhoneSex — it won’t get me to where I want to go with this training.  In this situation, I’m getting my ass kicked on a regular basis and I have to suck it up.  I leave the gym with throbbing shoulder blades, trembling thighs. aching breasts … and I thank her for my mysery and can’t wait to see her again.  

So all of that is keeping me … shall we say engaged?  Plus I am being honored at a volunteer dinner next week and I don’t have a thing to where.  Really, I don’t.  I need some new summer dress-up clothes — which means I’m busy shopping.  Concurrently, I am shopping for the perfect summer white purse.   Then there’s dinner and a show at the Performing Arts Center next month, a Leonard Cohen concert still a few months away, a lunch and movie I promised a friend, and I’ve already bought my tickets to see Wicked in early fall.

Of course I have the other life stuff that keeps us all spinning, like dealing with Comcast’s inadequate and rude Customer Service Department on what seems a constant basis.  I have my cable thru them, because the greedy bastards have made sure they’re the only game in town.  Plus I pay them for Nanette’s cable/phone/dsl, because she’s my good friend and she really just really needed someone to cut her a break.  And they are always screwing things up, like accidently turning her Phone off on Easter Sunday, then taking two 1/2  days to get it back on.  Or suddenly beginning to charge me for a sport tier on my cable bill and insisting I’d ordered it.  When anybody who knows me knows, that is something I would never, ever do in a zillion years.  But Comcast is always right and the customer is always wrong.  Go figure. 

And then there is this Phone Sex Business.  It’s my baby.  No CEOs, no Personal Assistants, no Comptrollers …. so this tax thing is one big fucking headache for me.  But it is now done and put to bed.  Amen.

Oh, and the Phone Sex Business — believe it or not, and I know this is going to shock you — requires of me that I actually take calls from shall we say …. sexual adventurers?  And I happen to have a group of loyal callers who expect me to show up and work some serious magic.  Even though I took off for Easter Sunday, this past weekend was practically non-stop calls.  In fact, any time I’ve been available lately, I’ve been kept very busy with callers.  Which — I’m certainly not complaining — is a very good thing.

What all of the above means is that I am a very busy girl.  But I’m here.  Just shoot me an email (angela @ zensmut DOT com) and I will — sometimes a little later than sooner, but always at some point — get back to you and we can go from there.  Or you could just call.  The link for phoning me is at the top of this page.  Regardless, my titties are still hurting.
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Phone Sex Quote of the Day: 

What you can do when you’re having phone sex is limited only to your imagination. Most people appear to feel that the more creative you get, the better the sex. You could be in any room, doing anything. If you have a cordless hands-free phone, your options multiply.  (ARTICLE)

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Financial Phone Sex Dom of the Day:

If you like a woman to control your cock by controlling your hard-earned cash, then you simply must visit Mistress Sherry Elizabeth’s website,  where you can see her absolutely FREE video in which she seduces, teases and hypnotizes you into financial submission.  Make no mistake about it … Sherry Elizabeth is a sizzling hot, beautiful woman.  She will weaken you, then wrap you around her little finger — another trinket for her collection.  You will want to call her, worship her, give her everything and anything she requests.  But your cock will be so hard you could use it to pound nails.  That’s a fair enough trade, I do believe.

xo, Angela