A sub-fetish of Erotic Humiliation, Penis Humiliation is the hottest thing in Phone Sex these days.  And while some readers might think this an odd fantasy/fetish/kink, most Phone Sex Operators are quite used to it and actually have a lot of fun with it. 

Think of it as a form of VERBAL BDSM.  I mean, after all, the Phone Domme can’t really use whips and chains and Ben Gay (ouch, indeed, very much).  But she can use words.  It is arguably more erotically powerful to dominate with real words — real bad, mean words — rather than "and now I am going to beat you."  And what matters most to a man?  His dick.  It may seem a trite observation, but it is nonetheless true. 

I often say that our poor men — they just can’t help it.  After all, it’s like God created them with the supreme disadvantage of having a gear shift sticking out right there, right there in front for the world to see … even with the cover of trousers!   How can the NOT think about it all the time?  And it makes them very vulnerable, doesn’t it?

So why not go for the girth?  Make every word count and hit him with those words where it hurts the most?  Only, in this case, with pain — there’s no gain.  Little Willie leaves the encounter none the worse for the wear … but none the better.  His sad puny prick is still sad and still puny.

It makes sense.  Penis size is very much on the male mind (don’t ask — he won’t admit it) at least some of the time. Hornswaggling, doolally spammers bank on it.  In my personal email recently:

• Female Orgasms:  Bigger means Better for your Woman
• Your tool is so small she hardly finds it in bed?
• Penetrate Deeper
• Enhance your masculine tool
• Fill out your erectile tissue
• Enlarging your male weapon means winning a competition
• From now on you will be able to satisfy each size-queen
• Your male power will return like a boomerang

Now, admittedly, this Mystery Meat (pun intended) was more than likely sent from the one and only internet cafe in some backward jungle — the spammer believing the hype of myriad porn sites.  But he is on to something and it must make money, because everybody finds this stuff in their in-boxes.    Even me, and I have a very feminine personal email address.  It’s the marketing method of Quantity over Quality … just like a Size Queen Fantasy!  The irony is delicious.

Besides being a subcategory of Erotic Humiliation, Small Penis Humiliation is a major theme in Cuckolding Fantasies.  Particularly when the Cuckoldress’s lovers are studly black bulls.  It’s the stark differences that give these fantasies their edge:  Black vs. White, Woman vs. Male, Wife vs. Husband, Large vs. Small.  So, even if it’s not quite your thing, perhaps you can understand that, for others, it’s sizzling hot.

Forced Bi Fantasies will often contain at least a portion of Small Penis Humiliation, with size functioning to underline one’s role in the fantasy:  large equals dominant, small equals submissive.  The feeling of tractability can be deeply enhanced when the physicality of size is used as emphasis.

So Big Cock, Small Cock, Average Cock … what’s it all about, Angela?

Well, you might recall that I actually wrote an about this in an essay, Erotic Humiliation is Not an Oxymoron, for the book, Sex Kitten Presents the BDSM Issue.  While I don’t discuss Small Penis Humiliation per se, I do talk about the "fantasy" of being verbally humiliated, taunted and abused by a beautiful and poweful FemDom. 

As far as me, personally:  Is bigger better?  Do I or don’t I?  Well, you’ll just have to READ ALL ABOUT IT.

xo, Angela

Nymphomanic Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What’s your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.  Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.  I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I’m sorry," she said, "I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein.  But my friends call me Bubba.

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I don’t remember who sent me that, but it sure is funny.  Was it you, Puzzler?  I’m thinking it was.  Or perhaps it was my sister, Bethany?  Thanks to whomever. 

And while I’m at it, this next few days are going to be/might be/could be pretty busy so look for me, but don’t expect/do hope for much.  Tomorrow (Monday) I should be working from noon-ish until midnight … but that could change depending on a few circumstances that might pop up.  I don’t think they will be a problem, but just in case — you’re forewarned.  Then Tuesday is a BIG morning with my very expensive and talented hairdresser for my much needed and beloved highlights.

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Phone Sex Quote of the Day

Even though I hadn’t a clue and was totally taken by surprise, I wasn’t angry or turned off in the least.  I just thought, "Well!  What do you know?"  — Mr. A. telling me about his reaction to finding out the "lady" he’d been seducing (I just thought she had a lot of bush) was a TS (transexual).  And he DID continue with the seduction.  

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Phone Sex Scunt (scum + cunt) of the Day

Sissy M, who really really pissed me off today.  Get a grip and learn to act like a man … even when you’re in panties.  There is no excuse for your behavior and you are totally not getting what the phone sex experience is about.  Because, guess what?  It’s the same as everything else in life:  you get what you put into it. But then again, I suspect you don’t put much into life, so … don’t call me.  I’ll call you.

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DEAR READERS:  I am sooo sorry for losing my cool and telling off Sissy M. right here in public.  I really, really, really try to ignore these guys (just block their calls and move on) and pay attention to the good guys who deserve my attention,  like Mr. A. (who is a stand-up kinkster).  BUT that idiot I interrupted our blogging adventure with his call only to hang up at one minute.  

And so … well … er … just except my apologies and keep adoring me.

xo, Angela

Blame it on the totally awesome Bitch Trainer I recently hired.  She is torturing me and I am loving it.  I told her that due to fairly regularly jogging my legs were more than fine, that I wanted to concentrate on upper body strength.  OOOOHHH … she so took me at my word.  Damn her!  God bless her!  I want to have lesbian sex with her.  I want to have her babies.  She’s my own personal non-sexual Dominatrix and I worship her.  She is whipping me into uber shape and I’m giving her lots of money to do it!  It’s the perfect relationship, because she won’t let me top from the bottom.  I have a habit of wanting to be always right, always in charge, always knowing what’s best … for me and for everybody else.

Which — while it works in my line of work, FemDom PhoneSex — it won’t get me to where I want to go with this training.  In this situation, I’m getting my ass kicked on a regular basis and I have to suck it up.  I leave the gym with throbbing shoulder blades, trembling thighs. aching breasts … and I thank her for my mysery and can’t wait to see her again.  

So all of that is keeping me … shall we say engaged?  Plus I am being honored at a volunteer dinner next week and I don’t have a thing to where.  Really, I don’t.  I need some new summer dress-up clothes — which means I’m busy shopping.  Concurrently, I am shopping for the perfect summer white purse.   Then there’s dinner and a show at the Performing Arts Center next month, a Leonard Cohen concert still a few months away, a lunch and movie I promised a friend, and I’ve already bought my tickets to see Wicked in early fall.

Of course I have the other life stuff that keeps us all spinning, like dealing with Comcast’s inadequate and rude Customer Service Department on what seems a constant basis.  I have my cable thru them, because the greedy bastards have made sure they’re the only game in town.  Plus I pay them for Nanette’s cable/phone/dsl, because she’s my good friend and she really just really needed someone to cut her a break.  And they are always screwing things up, like accidently turning her Phone off on Easter Sunday, then taking two 1/2  days to get it back on.  Or suddenly beginning to charge me for a sport tier on my cable bill and insisting I’d ordered it.  When anybody who knows me knows, that is something I would never, ever do in a zillion years.  But Comcast is always right and the customer is always wrong.  Go figure. 

And then there is this Phone Sex Business.  It’s my baby.  No CEOs, no Personal Assistants, no Comptrollers …. so this tax thing is one big fucking headache for me.  But it is now done and put to bed.  Amen.

Oh, and the Phone Sex Business — believe it or not, and I know this is going to shock you — requires of me that I actually take calls from shall we say …. sexual adventurers?  And I happen to have a group of loyal callers who expect me to show up and work some serious magic.  Even though I took off for Easter Sunday, this past weekend was practically non-stop calls.  In fact, any time I’ve been available lately, I’ve been kept very busy with callers.  Which — I’m certainly not complaining — is a very good thing.

What all of the above means is that I am a very busy girl.  But I’m here.  Just shoot me an email (angela @ zensmut DOT com) and I will — sometimes a little later than sooner, but always at some point — get back to you and we can go from there.  Or you could just call.  The link for phoning me is at the top of this page.  Regardless, my titties are still hurting.
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Phone Sex Quote of the Day: 

What you can do when you’re having phone sex is limited only to your imagination. Most people appear to feel that the more creative you get, the better the sex. You could be in any room, doing anything. If you have a cordless hands-free phone, your options multiply.  (ARTICLE)

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Financial Phone Sex Dom of the Day:

If you like a woman to control your cock by controlling your hard-earned cash, then you simply must visit Mistress Sherry Elizabeth’s website,  where you can see her absolutely FREE video in which she seduces, teases and hypnotizes you into financial submission.  Make no mistake about it … Sherry Elizabeth is a sizzling hot, beautiful woman.  She will weaken you, then wrap you around her little finger — another trinket for her collection.  You will want to call her, worship her, give her everything and anything she requests.  But your cock will be so hard you could use it to pound nails.  That’s a fair enough trade, I do believe.

xo, Angela

Race Track

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the Churchill Downs racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.  When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men’s room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their "wee-wees" to direct the flow away from their clothes.  As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade."

"No, ma’am," he replied. "I’m riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help."n the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Obama Tricked Us!

When Millions of Americans watched Mr. Obama’s appearance on CBS’s 60 Minutes on Sunday, they witnessed the president-elect’s unorthodox verbal trick , which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.

But Mr. Obama’s decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.

According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a president who speaks English as if it were his first language.

"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate — we get it, stop showing off."

The president-elect’s stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.

"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can’t really do there, I think needing to do that isn’t tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.

Email from a Phone Sex Caller:

 … just thinking about Bill Clinton and the drag of being a relatively young president is that you kinda get retired in 8 years with some fuel still in the tank.  I think you ought to send him some links, Angela.  He’s ready! 

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. said:

Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.

Thought for the Day:

Life is supposed to be amazing!  Don’t settle for anything less.

Phone Sex Advice for the Day:

Don’t shop for the perfect girl by just listening to a voice — unless the voice is your fetish.  You don’t learn anything from hearing two or three sentences from her mouth then hanging up.  You could very well have missed the roller coaster ride of your life because you acted hastily and stupidly.  Not to mention rudely.  Oh and if the voice thing is your fetish?  Well you’re just not to smart and probably as about as deep as a shot glass. 

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A lot of the above STUFF I’d save for you and am finally getting it up here at Zen.  Thanks to Vanilla Savant for the Obama piece, to The Professor for the email and to my sister, Bethany, for the Race Track Joke.

xo, Angela