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Angela St. Lawrence is the reigning queen of high-end, long distance training and Femme Domme phone sex, providing esoteric depravity for the aficionado, specializing in Erotic Fetish, Female Domination, Cock Control, Kinky Taboo and Sensual Debauchery. To make an appointment or speak with Ms. St. Lawrence  ...

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Archive for the 'Rhetorically Yours' Category

Cock-Sucking Love Bugs?

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

Hey!  I didn’t say it.  The fellow who typed it into Google’s search engine said it (see red text below).  But I sure do wonder what he was specifically trying to hunt down.  I dunno.  Is there such a thing as a love bug in the animal kingdom?  Was he looking for a hot and steamy twist on bestiality?  Something like an arthropodous idee fixe?  A fetish for romantic vermin that will crawl all over his cock and suck it at the same time? 

I haven’t a clue and, quite honestly, I’m not sure I even want to know.

Anyway, as I’ve noted before, I do occasionally gather the initiative to take a look at my website stats.  Most of the time, I could care less.  I’m a poet at heart — the frippery of data bores me to absolutely no end.  Blah, blah, blah, blah.  I’ve neither the time nor inclination to extricate, investigate, evaluate or differentiate. 

I just don’t see a need to over-complicate this.  After all, everything is working just fine the way it is:  You find me, I find you, it’s love-at-first-site and we live happily ever after. That is, at least until I kick you to the curb.  So …  why mess with a good thing?

BUT …

As a RESPONSIBLE business woman I should be paying attention.  So once in a blue moon, I take a gander.  Which I did.  And now I’m done looking for another few months.  Or two.  Or three.  Maybe four or five.  What am I going to do with this info?  Absolutely nothing.  Except let you take a peek, too:

  • fetish girl with sneakers
  • phone sex
  • teased and taunted milf
  • watch fetish
  • Mistress Angela faceslapping
  • phone sex quotes (a blog piece about this soon)
  • small penis humiliation thumbs (think he was looking for pics)
  • bdsm slap face
  • eating her cunt and asshole
  • phone sex goddess
  • eats my cunt (good idea, huh girls?)
  • teasing mistress
  • wife getting fucked (so many men love this)
  • phone femdom
  • femdom
  • zen fetish (you lookin’ at me?)
  • woman´s fetish with small penis (i don’t think so)
  • fetish sweat in my clothes
  • snatch
  • cuckold phone sex (again with the cuckold thing)
  • goddess, mistress phone
  • mistress humiliates
  • getting fucked while people watch
  • cock leash  (can i hear an amen?)
  • femdom wedding
  • humiliation "small penis" story
  • cuckold story
  • haircut fetish xxx
  • zen fetish (come to angie, baby)
  • phone sex
  • cock sucking love bugs
  • types of cuckold
  • phonesex
  • tease denial (u know i love it)
  • cuckold
  • real cuck
  • erotic hair cut fetish
  • cum on my pussy (don’t even try it)
  • on your knees boy femdom
  • cuckold type relationship
  • zen fetish (he knew exactly what he wanted)
  • sneaker porn
  • tease denial
  • zen fetish (a stalker perhaps?)
  • ass kissing cuckold
  • "small penis humiliation"
  • oh cum all ye faithful

Shocked?  Intrigued?  Disgusted?  All I did was copy and paste.  YOU found ME here.  I was just blogging away, minding my own business.  What a naughty bunch of bad, bad boys you are.  Now you’re here and just what am I supposed to do with you?  Maybe I should force you to pick something from your own list?  Or maybe I should have fudged the list and added things I’d decidedly like you to do.  Let me think about that and get back to you. 

And for the record, I’m not into bestiality.  Particularly of the sort involving creepy-crawly arachnids of an sort.   So disgusting. I mean I’m the girl who screams when I see an ants.

Then again, if your into be squashed like a bug …. call me!  *wink*

xo, Angela

Who’ll Have The Last Laugh?

Friday, September 18th, 2009

 God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. 

Voltaire

 

via Bizarro

Tweeting Phone Sex

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

 

Follow Me on Twitter

 

receive FIFTY PERCENT OFF your next call

click below:

  • receive special offers and discounts
  • get up-to-the-minute news and updates to my websites
  • more access, more one-on-one, more individualized attention
  • you twitter … i flutter ~ it’s a very good thing 

It’s Easy:

  1. tweet me (click that birdie, dammit!)
  2. email me (angela@zensmut.com)
  3. include your twitter ID
  4. we’ll set up a call

 

Harmonious Phone Sex

Friday, September 11th, 2009

 

Mae West: Read Her Lips

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Oh the things she said!  And in a time of extreme sexual repression, she was able — for the most part — to get away with it. 

Admittedly, I’ve never seen a Mae West movie.  That said, who — regardless of age or inclination or lack of cinema savvy — hasn’t heard her almost rococo delivery of the line, "Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?"  Which, by the way, is from the movie, She Done Him Wrong, also starring Cary Grant.  Another memorable line from the same movie:  "When I’m good I’m very good but when I’m bad I’m better."

Flamboyant and (some would say) raunchy, Ms. West was ahead of her time.  Throughout her career she fought sexism, elitism, repression and censorship.  Despite all of that — including an arrest on a charge of "corrupting the morals of youth" and rigid censoring under the infamous Hays Code — Mae West was an unstoppable force and perhaps even the singular Bombshell Harbinger of the sexual freedoms we enjoy today.

Scrappy and sharp-witted, she was not deterred by her detractors.  Instead, she became the absolute Queen of the Double Entendre.  She, herself, noted that "If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning."  Thus — ingeniously and creatively — she sparred and adumbrated and demurred and bantered her way into cinematic history and our social conscience.  World War II soldiers called their life jackets Mae Wests, Warren Buffet quotes Ms. West (Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.) when giving investment advice; Salvador Dali memorialized her lips in his iconic Mae West Sofa

Mae West Quotes

About Men:

  • It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men.
  • Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired.
  • Personally, I like two types of men – domestic and foreign.
  • Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
  • A man in the house is worth two in the street.
  • Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.
  • I only have yes men around me. Who needs no men?
  • Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
  • He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

About Women:

  • A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.
  • Good girls go to heaven.  Bad girls go everywhere.
  • When women go wrong, men go right after them
  • There are no good girls gone wrong – just bad girls found out.
  • She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
  • Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.
  • Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
  • A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

About Love & Sex:

  • Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
  • It takes two to get one in trouble.
  • Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
  • I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
  • I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
  • All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
  • An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
  • Love thy neighbor – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

About Herself:

  • I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
  • I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.
  • I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
  • I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
  • I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
  • I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

A lot of the above I’ve heard time and again, but you know what?  Typing her words into my blog, I’m born-again smitten with this incredible woman.  Make no mistake:  Mae West was a trail blazer in a time when women just weren’t supposed to "act that way."  She possessed an indomitable and indefatigable spirit, which took her far and paved the way for a sexual revolution — which literally changed everything.  And aren’t we the better off for it?  As Mae, herself, said, "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

RIP Mae West (1893-1980)

Although …

… rumor has it that Mae West is alive and well and LIVING ON THE INTERNET.

xo, Angela

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