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Archive for the 'Rhetorically Yours' Category

Good Advice

Friday, March 13th, 2009

Be Drunk

Charles Baudelaire

Translanted by Louis Simpson

You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

***

*sigh*  I think I will choose from this point on to be drunk on poetry.

Someday I am going to settle in to seriously study Beaudelaire.  I really am.  This translation surely is reason enough to get started, dontcha think?  And then there’s the constant tease of Fleurs De Mal (brainchild of SuperVert — our in-house Deviant Savant).   But first I need a power bath.  One must be elegantly prepared for such endeavors.

xo, Angela

_____________________________

PHONE SEX DIVA OF THE DAY:

Mistress Rayne of Rayne’s Realm.  She’s such a cutie.  And she will tough love you until your driven to your knees like the dirty dawg you are.  I have it from the best sources (my callers) that Mistress Rayne is an expert Domina with a few tricks up her sleeve for lucky slave boys.  So assume slave posture and dial her up.  Do it now!

Hodge Podge at the Phone Sex Lodge

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Catholic Humor:  Thanks to my sister.

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards… The man, who was a priest, said "I am a Father." The little boy replied "My Dad doesn’t wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many." The boy said "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way." The priest, getting impatient, said "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.

TOP TEN BUSHISMS:  Thanks to PQS and via Slate’s Jacob Weisberg (where there are a total of 25)

1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters’ questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001

6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

7. "I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006

8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

9. "I’ve heard he’s been called Bush’s poodle. He’s bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007

10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

Obama is a Cool Cat:  so says Christopher Hitchens

"Our new president’s charm is not merely superficial. It is compounded of two qualities that are distinctly rare in the political class: an apparently very deep internal equanimity, and an ability to employ irony at his own expense. Obama, one can tell, would not have been devastated if he had lost the contest for the White House. Nor was he ready to do or say absolutely anything to win it."

Short and Not So Sweet Sex Poem:  By A. R. Ammons (thanks, PQS)

THEIR SEX LIFE

One failure on
Top of another

 Something to Think About: 

"The tragedy of war is that it uses man’s best to do man’s worst."  ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

What Happens in Vegas Plays in Vegas: (Thanks, Vanilla Savant)

Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips!

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.  NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.  THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.  *wink*

Phone Sex Quote of the Day: From Spike Lee’s Girl 6

Scary Caller # 30:  "How can a slut be beautiful? The Mona Lisa is beautiful, the Statue of Liberty is beautiful, the Grand Canyon, the first day of spring, a new fallen snow-that’s beauty, but a slut is just slutty, right?"

xo, Angela

Sex Quotes

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Maybe you’ve caught my Sex Quote blog, Pardon My French, maybe not.   I’m behind on a lot of  web projects, but this is one I’m making a reasonable attempt to keep current, because I happen to like quotes quite a bit.  Blame it on my book/reading/word fetishes.  Quotes speak to me:  They’re a short and sweet way of saying a whole bunch of stuff that touches an intellectual or emotional cord and I find that immensely appealing. 

I even have a collection of quotes (not necessarily sex-related, unless something really strikes my fancy) Here at Zen, such as the following gems:

We listened to them, but it was clear they’d received too much therapy to know the truth.  ~Jeffrey Eugenides 

Now I don’t know about you, but I find that seriously funny because it rings so very true.  Jeffrey Eugenides is one of my favorite authors.  You may have read the Pulitzer Prize winning Middlesex, which begins, "I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974."   And if you haven’t, you’re really missing out.  His writing is as on-target and intuitive as that quote — he doesn’t waste a single word.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good dipped in chocolate.  ~Unknown

That one just appeals to my quirky nature.  Don’t you like it?  And one more:

To be a book-collector is to combine the worst characteristics of a dope fiend with those of a miser. ~Robertson Davies

Which, well, um.  What can I say?  It’s true and I’m guilty.  I need a 12 Step Program big time.  Anyway there’s more of those if you care to check.  And you’re quite welcome to steal them.  But right now let’s get back to Pardon My French — that other blog of mine.

I’m keeping it streamlined with nothing but a collection of quotes related to sex in all it’s facets.  My goal is to keep the selection eclectic and include every possible source: lyrics, poetry, bloggers, authors, books, etc.  I’m  including typical subject matter (gender, sex roles, marriage, desire, homosexuality) as well as what might be considered atypical (FemDom, humiliation, incest, perversion, castration, sex toys).    I even have Phone Sex and Cybersex categories … probably firsts when it comes to sex quote collections. 

So, today,  I thought I’d share some of the stuff from over there with my readers on this side of the fence .  Although you are certainly welcome to visit, beg, borrow and steal from Pardon My French, since isn’t that what collecting quotes is all about when you get right down to it? 

Here’s a smattering:

Shakespeare (Hamlet) on Hot Dirty Sex:

but to live
In the rank sweat of an enseamed bed,
Stew’d in corruption, honeying and making love
Over the nasty sty…

Elise Sutton on Training a Man: 

Begin to train him to be that perfect man that you desire. Expect excellence out of him and don’t allow him to take you for granted. Begin to discipline him, as men need this. Men grow up being disciplined and nurtured by women. Deep inside they still need and desire this.  So learn how to discipline a man and how to properly train him.

Nietzsche the Misogynist: 

Woman was God’s second mistake.

Camille Paglia on Government and Sex: 

My thinking tends to be libertarian. That is, I oppose intrusions of the state into the private realm — as in abortion, sodomy, prostitution, pornography, drug use, or suicide, all of which I would strongly defend as matters of free choice in a representative democracy.

Denise McCanles on Lesbian Introductions: 

Introductions are tricky in a lesbian relationship. It’s a word game. To my friends she’s my lover, to strangers and family members in denial she’s my roommate, to Jehovah’s Witnesses at the door she’s my lesbian sex slave, and to my mother she’s Jewish and that’s all that matters.

Chinese Proverb:

Virginity like bubble: one prick all gone.

Johnny Depp as Ed Wood on Cross-Dressing:

My girlfriend still doesn’t know why her sweaters are always stretched out.

Violet Blue on CyberSex:

Right now there are more ways to have cybersex than ever thought possible, and it’s making modern couples reconfigure their relationships’ Terms of Service . Cybersex makes it easy to cheat; you don’t have to meet anyone, so the risk factor is low on all fronts — except maybe emotionally. Cybersex is also a more creative form of masturbation, so in many ways it’s not too terribly different than enjoying porn or fantasy.

Pick Up Line:

Do you know how to use a whip?

Faustus via Eros Blog on What Makes Us Hot:

Almost everyone has at least one something, call it an “X,” that can provoke intense pleasure when somehow experienced. The “X” is whatever it is that can sound the deepest and most resonant notes in our inner erotic music. An “X” might be a person, or a kind of person, or a practice, or a fetish, or a storyline, or even a concept. Some people — often people with especially vivid imaginations — may have many X’s.

Groucho Marx being Groucho:

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Supervert (PervScan) on The Matter of Size:

No doubt the most fascinating cock stat to emerge from current research is the controversial thesis by Dr. Rushton that penis size and brain power are inversely related. You’ve all heard the phrase “more balls than brain” — apparently it may really be a biological axiom. Guys with big dicks tend to be dumber than guys with little ones — which, in a certain respect, makes perfect sense. Survival of the fittest is the rule of the land, so if you’re deficient in one area you make up for it another. If you can’t wow ‘em with your wand, you amaze ‘em with your mind.

And because I’m shameless, I even quote myself:

For many submissive men the idea of an Amazon-type dominatrix is a serious turn on. It’s all about the Power Dynamics. Consider the Giantess fantasy. Consider the smothering websites where abundantly fleshy women queen, leg-lock and face-fuck a never-ending parade of men licking their lips, vying to be next.

Of course, a corollary can easily be drawn when considering Humiliation Fantasies, Abuse Fantasies and Small Penis Fantasies.  Not to mention Cuckold Fantasies, wherein the players include the Dominant Wife, her Bull lover and the Wimpy Husband.

And even for those guys who prefer their everyday women more in the petite range — the visual of big vs. little emphasizes who’s the boss and who’s the little, sniveling weakling.

***

I guess that’s enough for now.  You get the idea.  And if you have any sex-related quotes, particularly if you are a blogger or published writer, please send them my way — the more the merrier!

Or feel free to leave a comment telling us your favorite Sex Quote.

And Happy National Grammar Day!

xo, Angela

Penis Humiliation: The Musical

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

 

Under the Influence

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

 

So, as usual,  you’ve been finding me in the most unusual ways.  Which I don’t mind and to which I hardly ever even pay any real attention, even though — as most website owners/bloggers do — I have the ability to check a variety of stats, including the Key Words readers are popping into Google to find their way from there to here.    Occasionally, though, I do take a peek just to see what’s cooking.  I have to say, sometimes what I see is a real head-scratcher. 

And once you take a gander at  Zen’s recent Key Words, you”ll probably be scratching too.  I mean what exactly is urban porno and how would it differ from, say, pastoral or suburban porno?  Who is looking for what — when he types mistress v penis into  his search engine?  Maybe he’s missing Mistress V as much as I am and getting all teary-eyed over the good old (Small Penis Prevention) days?

And then there’s those certain phrases that make me ask:  What was he thinking, drinking, snorting and/or injecting?  Look at the  red text.  See it?  This guy is definitely under the influence of something — but I’m thinking it’s most likely the influence of his naughty penis, which would also be known as STIFF PRICK SUPiDITY SYNDROME, wherein the gray matter turns gelatinous and reality takes a flying leap.  For the record, I will NOT do Phone Fantasies re. to Obama.  It’s just too silly.

Copied and pasted directly from my stats:

pussycunt (since when was this one word?)
phone sex
femdom wedding
penis punish
female dominant phone sex
game small penis humiliation
phone sex quote
cuckold respect wife\’s boyfriend (a great concept — in theory)
phone sex
face slapping bdsm
haircut fetish chat (I got spanked on this one)
face slapping bdsm
zen fetish blog (were you looking for moi’?)
teenage cuckold
obama big ears big cock (???)
PHONE SEX
phone sex quote
angela st. lawrence
small penis humiliation
femdom phonesex
mistress v penis (I miss my friend!)
urban porno
phone sex
cuck submissive
pantiesformen (uses spaces in search engines!)
free face slapped sex
small penis humiliation (more of that?)
girl sneaker porn
sexual face slapping
femdomme phone sex
SMALL PENIS HUMILIATION
penis punishment
tease denial
cougars milfs
angela st. lawrence
have best phone sex
aged milfs
what cuckold
fuckme red lipstick
"small penis" sister (uh, what?)
leopard beastiality  (dangerous!)
blackmailed erotic (about which I said)
learning the fetish blackmail
erotic blackmail
small penis humiliation
MIlf/cougars
"haircut fetish"
parochial school erotic stories
small penis humiliation
cock sucking fags
forced cuckolds "Cuckold Stories"
milfs and cougars
faceslapping mistress
face slap mistress
getting fucked while busy
zen fetiche (ooh, so fancy)
sexy slapping
phone sex small penis
SMALL PENIS HUMILIATION
sissies getting a butt plug
phone sex small penis humiliation
erotic humiliation stories cotton panties
milf pedia (could someone clue me in on this one?)
Slap submissive
sneaker girl fetish
small penis phone sex (ah, yeah, i’m getting a bad rep)

***

So what do you think?  Am I a bad girl?  Or a good girl who just happens to know how to be bad at the right time?  And isn’t it interesting all the face slapping and humiliation seekers who find their way here?  What must you think of me?  But there is a healthy sampling of other stuff (milf, tease & denial, phone sex quote, etc.).  One could make the argument (and I am) that the list reflects my creativity and flexibility — my eclectic, sexy genius.  *wink*

xo, Angela