So apparently there really is an event called the Festival of the Steel Phallus.   Now your quite apt reaction might be:  Only in America!  While mine would run along the lines of:  The last thing we need in this world is a Pecker Party. 

And we’d both be wrong.  

Because first off, this particular celebration takes place in Kawasaki, Japan.  Secondly, it’s proceeds go towards HIV research.   

But I am thinking about a select group of closet cocksuckers who would be in absolute heaven if I sent them to party it up at the festival.   You know who you are; don’t try to hide behind that monitor.  We see you. 

xo, Angela

No, I’m not talking about a purse or a handbag.

Although a nasty little story involving a a FemDom and what she pulls from her Louis Vuitton would fit quite nicely over at Blistered Lips.  Hmmm.  I’ll have to give that more thought.

So what I’m talking about here is the pocket book (two words, not one) defined at Dictionary.com as … "a book, usually paperback, that is small enough to carry in one’s coat pocket."  But this is a very, very special pocket book, with kinda-sorta magical powers.  Because you can either buy this particular tome as a pocket book or opt to just download it to your PC.  Pretty nifty, dontcha think?   And while it is nice to have both options available to you, be forewarned that if you do carry it as a pocket book, tuck it in deep when visiting your in-laws or attending synagogue, because this is the seriously dirty stuff.  A pocket book that just might inspire a bit of pocket pool, dontcha know?  And we wouldn’t want anybody to blush, now would we?

I am serious.  If you like your erotica edgy, kinky and uttra-freaky — inhabited by a mishmash of succubus-esque divas, dominatrices and transexuals –then you simply must add this book to your secret stash.  And don’t lie to me; I know you have one, you naughty boy/girl/boy-girl!  From the divinely depraved mind of Porn Person of Prurient Interests, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY features an introduction by none other than myself, as well as pictures of the captivating fetish model, Ms. Elle. 

And how do I know all of this?  Because I know Porno Person:  as a stand-up friend, a dyed-in-the-wool deviant and as a (brilliant) mainstream writer in his other life in which he’s enjoyed a modicum of fame. 

Dirty stories?  From the dirtiest guy on the net?  Sexy fetish photos?  Of Ms. Elle?  A few words of quasi-wisdom from me?  All in one book? 

What are you waiting for?  Get out of here and get reading:  CLICK HERE NOW

xo, Angela

Just a few thoughts, because I’ve been asked:

Will you blackmail me?  I will send you pictures of me doing vile, disgusting things.  I will confess to you all my perversions.   I will give you all my personal information and that of those close to me.  Then make me pay you money, so that you will not expose me for the low-life degenerate I am. 

or

Will you call my wife with me and tell her I am in a hotel doing phone sex with you because it is better than any "real" sex I could have with her?

or

If I give you my boss’s phone number will you call and tell her that I am addicted to porn, can’t keep my hand off my prick and am a chronic masturbater?

First off,  I would beg to differ on the where, when, how or why that makes a certain someone a "low-life degenerate."  It’s not the fact that you eat your own cum or piss in your pantyhose or fuck your own ass with carrots and celery or hump the toilet seat you’ve named Ethel or fuck a portable pussy or jerk your dick until it is rubbed raw or whatever else you think is just so damn nasty that it makes you special.  

No, darling, what makes you  less appealing than anthrax, more disgusting than pond scum, lower than the lowliest is the fact that you — in your never-ending quest for the ultimate sexual thrill — would give personal information about yourself and others to me or some other woman you only know from her web presence (which doesn’t amount to a hill of beans in the PSO world).  I don’t care what your kink is, you just don’t have the right to involve unsuspecting others.  Be it your wife, your girlfriend, your boss, your best friend, your parents or even casual acquaintances, your penis needs be respectful, act appropriately, and know its place. 

Just what are you thinking?  How can you possibly rationalize endangering the people who trust you by involving them in your PsychoSexual Blackmail games?  People could get hurt, dontcha know?  Get a fucking grip!  In my everyday life, I certainly wouldn’t want you as a friend of mine.

Now I’m not saying that I’ve never participated in Erotic Blackmail, because I have.  It’s just that this is serious stuff, not to be approached lightly nor haphazardly.  The clients I’ve agreed to take down this dark — and I do mean D – A – R – K — road have had to earn the privilege.    I only do Financial Domination/PsychoSexual Blackmail with a small and select group of callers.  And never, ever on the fly. 

My guys are quite familiar and happy with the way I run my show.  (And it is, when it’s all said and done, my show.  I just might let a few of you think it’s yours now and again.  But never, ever underestimate the true power of a woman.  *wink*)  Which means in AngelaLand:   Safety first, kink second!  Get used to it and learn to love it, because I will protect you and yours in spite of yourself.  Even when you are so blissed out on the possibility of being exposed, that you lose perspective.  It’s part of my job description and you can bet I take it seriously.

Which doesn’t mean I can’t play hard hard as nails and make you beg for mercy.  Because if I really am going to meet your expectations and scare the living fuck out of you, I just better be able to take right to the edge of that slippery slope — so close that you feel the razor’s edge, smell the smoking remnants of your imploding life, hear your own sobs echoing back to you from the endless abyss of your new nothingness.

And then I’ll tuck you in with a kiss on the tip of your nose and a promise of even more evil to come.

… the next time.

Well, actually gambling with my mother — it’s her monthly treat during the warmer seasons.  I mean, after all, what’s a good daughter to do?

So I won’t be taking calls today, but you can just bet I’ll thinking about you. 

*wink*

xo, Angela

So I’m teasing my rather straight (but very bad boy) caller.

"I’m going to make you suck big, black cock."

He is quiet.

"Do you hear me?"

Then he answers:

"Yes, Dear Mistress, but only if it’s Barack Obama’s big, black cock."

—-Which is just a lovely example of just how smart and witty and adorable most of my callers are.

(and, yes, since you asked, I am most definitely voting for Obama — HE ROCKS!)

xo, Angela