Just so you know. 

My sister, Bethany, is in town and my entire week has been turned upside down as I do the loving sister/dutiful daughter routine.  I’m having a good time and spending too much money. 

We’ve been out to dinner twice (Olive Garden and a local steak house), did a mini-spa thingy (my treat at $300 for the two of us … really not so bad), watched Judge Judy with my mother, went for a hike and played pinochle with my brother and his wife.  We also went shopping so she could find some neat things to take home to her family.  She found two things which cost her a total of $25, while I found two angel statuettes (I collect them) and blew $150.

Tonight we are going gambling, which — added to the above — means I won’t even look at my bank account until sometime later next week.  It hurts less that way.

If you have something important you need to tell me, feel free to write me (angela @ zensmut dot com) and I will try to get back to you in between the hoopla.  I miss you a lot and can’t wait to get back into my phone groove.  Too much off time just kind of makes me nervous.

Since I haven’t been available for phone and probably won’t be for the next couple days, I thought I’d give you some busy work.  I mean, the idle mind is the devil’s workshop and all that jazz.  So below is a list.  And I do expect you to pay attention, because I picked every item out especially for you.  Besides there might be a test.  Which means there might be a winner who gets a special prize.  I don’t know … hmmm …. maybe a pair of stockings?  a half price call?  a free erotic story written by yours truly?

So here you go: …

1. If you’re looking for a GFE (girl friend experience), check out (and then call) Nikki at Phone Sex Sweetie.
2. Are you an ass man?  Read Tom Allen’s piece, (S+C) x (B + F)/(T-V) and download The Ass-timator absolutely Free.  What a deal!
   
3. Want to read an interesting, humorous, thoughtful and even reader-friendly take on possibly the weirdest fetish ever?  PervScan’s Necrophilia Variations is the book for you.
4. Are you smarter than me?  Then why aren’t you reading Fleurs De Mal and Reality Studio?  Huh?
5. If you need to sweep your floors but would rather dance, then have I got the perfect thing for you.
6. Hot Wife Laura:  Check out her site, bookmark it, then call her.  I have it from the highest authority that she gives seriously good cam!
7. From Doctor Dick:  All you wanted to know about butt plugs, but were afraid to ask.
8. And of course you can always go shopping for dirty stories, hot videos, sexy MP3s, and even exchange some titillating banter in between purchases.
9. Want to fall in love with a dominant woman?  Visit Femdom Romance and Femdom Dating for thoughtful and informative tips and discussion.
10. Buy a Fleshlight and/or Aneros and let the fun begin!  Courtesy of the the delightful, devious and wonderful  Mistress V (she shows me where all the good stuff is). 

So that ought to keep you entertained and out of trouble.  Off I go to break the bank.  Or is that to break my bank?

God help me.

xo, Angela

Well, take a look at my last boyfriend and you’ll understand:

Just kidding.  But did I make you laugh?  Actually, I found this macho man at sexblo.gs.  It is recommended you visit them often.

xo, Angela

Yeah, about that schedule you’re always asking about. 

I just don’t have one. 

Well, actually I do have one, but you wouldn’t recognize it as a schedule per say.  Because real time schedules and phone sex schedules — well that’s like comparing apples and oranges.  Basically, it goes like this:  I show up, give you all I’ve got until I ain’t gots no more to give.  

As a PSO trying to give each guy exactly what he needs I have to be on-my-toes hyper-sensitive, hyper-aware and hyper-focused.  Even then I don’t always get it right, but no one can fault me for not always making the effort.  And you CAN take that to the bank.

So today — in some ways — wasn’t as hard as others, because many of my callers were regulars, two of you just calling to chat.  But, then again, the challenge with regulars is to always make the "same old kink" somehow fresh and exciting.  Did we accomplish that Mr. P?  I think we did and hope you do, too.

What I do know about today is that I spoke to twelve different gentlemen, with three of those calls lasting over an hour.  We visited The Ava Martin Institute (for the "re-training" of the male spouse).  There were three jerk-a-thons, one with a countdown (no cumming until I get to number one). 

I was a naughty teacher wielding a formidable strap-on, a deliciously corrupt next door neighbor, a hypnotic demon-succubus and a cuckolding goddess with a penchant for black meat.  Boys moaned and groaned and whimpered and wiggled.  I teased and taunted and flaunted.  I had my way with every last one of them.

It makes a girl tired.  All of that sex.

So I’m going to bed now.  I need my beauty rest so I can do it all over again tomorrow.

xo, Angela

PS: edited 3/1/08 to add …

And then I get the following email this morning:

Dearest Angela: 

Thank you, it was great to talk with you. You are one of the nicest people I know.  And so evil!!

Sincerely, Mr. P. 

I do so love my work. 

… look busy.  (version .01)

… and boy is He pissed.  (version .02)

Yup … we parochial types are in the middle of the Lenten season, supposedly doing some type of dietary acrobatics while waiting for the Big Cheese to make His annual appearance.  For some weirdly odd reason we like to kill him every year and then bring him back.  I guess we’re et. al what the BDSM community would call "switches" — crucifying the fuck out of ourselves and our heroes at every opportunity.  Thank goodness for safe words.  Kyrie eleison; Christe eleison; Kyrie eleison.

Now if you’re the type who needs a Butterwick pattern to live by, you just won’t ever get why I do not think all of the above (and the joke below) is even slightly incongruent with the fact of my heart-felt belief (more of a "knowing") that God does indeed exist.  

I just don’t get all the fuss and all the rules.  I mean, after all, rosaries have many other uses besides rote prayer and confessionals are downright handy-dandy when you wanna grab a nun on the run and get down and dirty.  In fact, I recently participated in an extremely blasphemous Sister Angela and Father Bill role-play which was simply scrumptious.  

And I do have a smiley face rosary.

I also happen to have a smiley face magnet that says:  My God is an awesome God.

And he is.  So there.

Which is my long way of getting around to sharing a Lenten joke, courtesy of my sister, Bethany, via her inter-office email (she works so hard!):

Each Friday night after work, Boudreaux would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. The problem was that all of Boudreaux’s neighbors were Catholic.  And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. But the delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Boudreaux and suggested that he become a Catholic.  After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass and the priest, sprinkling holy water over him, intoned, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he was carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat while chanting: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

As Mistress V would say:  Sweevil-icious!

Oh, and did you know that Jesus Loves Porn?

xo, Angela

Mistress Eva Lordes of the website, Phone BDSM has started a sweet little BDSM community for Mistresses and Slaves, BDSM Sex, so if you have that particular bent, she will welcome you with open arms and perhaps a nice cat ‘o nine tails.  You can touch base and interact with Lifestyle Mistresses, Phone Mistresses, Professional Domiatrixes and a wide variety of submissive types. 

In just a few days time there are already over forty members, but every time I check back that number expands.  You can read member blogs, create your own blog, send messages to "persons of interest" and upload videos and pictures. 

So if you had no plans this weekend, now you do!

*** 

Slip of a Girl has opened up an Amazon Lingerie Shop which features just about every sexy girlie thing you could possibly desire.  And while you are checking out her blog (a must for all lingerie fetishists), note her Tops Spots List (to the right, about a third of the way down) where you can be listed for only $1.00.  She gets great traffic, so it is an absolutely fantastic deal. 

***

Sweat Shop Sissy just got a rave review from Jane’s Guide and I’m sooo jealous: 

Our host at SSS is a cross-dressing sissy and he (and his wife) loves it. His blog is a sort of discussion and play-by-play of their exploration into the world sissification; but he also writes about whatever strikes his fancy, which leads to some very interesting discussion. Additionally, SSS and his wife are avid exhibitionists and he regularly posts pictures of them in various states of dress and undress. Even (or especially) if you think the sissification of men is odd, this site is worth checking out. – Shay 

(And while you”re at it, have you been to Jane’s lately?  The entire site got a makeover a while ago and the new design is just adorable.  ie. The Valentine decor  includes a picture of a heart and key with  "We’ve got the key to your heart lust right here.")

***

Have you visited My Flirt Store yet?  It’s a great little new place where both Phone Sex Operators and Web Cam Girls are  selling a variety of items including MP3s, videos, erotic stories, and naughty pictures.  You’re sure to find some of your favorite gals there:  Simmering Mistress Nicole has a some "must have" instructions for Sissy Boys to download.    Phone Whore Karen (a rather submissive and very naughty young lady) is selling some incredibly hot pictures.  The beautiful and big-breasted Arielle has some sweet tease video and black stocking pictures available.  There are pages of goodies to browse, offered by a bunch of very sexy ladies, so be sure to check it out.

***

I’ve mention this before, but I wanted to remind you about Miss Eve Scarlet’s Phone Sex Node.  It is a free-to-join site for both Phone Sex Operators and Callers.  Blogs, videos and pictures are all free.  That’s a good thing.  And, yes, I am a member.

***

Do you have a hot site that pertains to fetish, kink, BDSM or anything in between?  If so, be sure to get listed at Polyfesishist, which is hosted by our own Submissive Savant, Richard of Down On My Knees.  He doesn’t require a link back, but it sure would be nice if you linked back anyway.  Dontcha think?

***

And, last but certainly not least, if you’re looking for a kinky forum at which to hang your CBT6000 (translation:  participating in meaningful,  intelligent conversation about all things kink) you won’t find a better gang than the people at  Fetish Lore.  The environment is open, sincere, supportive and even downright nurturing.   I can’t recommend it enough.

***

So I’ve given you enough to occupy your time and keep you out of trouble over the weekend.  But if you simply must have some trouble, you know where to find me.

xo, Angela