Women in Control: Such a lovely adventure on a horny afternoon for more than a few of my typical callers. Anyway you slice, dice or Google it (Female Domination, Dominatrix, Mistress, Loving Authority) men love the idea of a powerful woman. Hell…I at least like the idea of it, maybe even love the idea of it, myself.
But behind the curtain: Our battles rage and we do so rant. It does get unbelievably tedious and downright depressing after a certain point. I stay out of the muddle–mostly because my experience is that the players don’t play honestly or fair, so why even try?
It is an industry thing, created by change and progress and human emotion. And –don’t ever underestimate the importance of it– that age-old, never-grow-out-of-it, need to fit in. Our inner children are always with us, no matter how much we grow up…aren’t they?
Once upon a time and not so long ago there wasn’t an Internet. Which meant that the business of Phone Sex was carried out via print media (advertising in Playboy, alternative Newspapers, etc.) and telephone (no visuals, only imagination). This is how I learned to talk dirty for money, while simultaneously pursuing my B.A. in English Lit. It paid the bills, put me through school and was the only way I knew to do it.
Perhaps it was the press of academia all around me –the creativity, the exuberant exchange of ideas, the flux and flow of perpetual newness– but I adapted and easily embraced the company philosophy that a suspension of disbelief was what it was all about, and that it was my job as a professional to make it as real as possible without exploiting my callers in the process.
But that was then and this is now. Today we have the Internet and all its bling. Which has not only changed the process (websites, chat rooms, email, forums, instant messaging, cam shows provide much more opportunity for interaction with clients), but the method (www.niteflirt.com and third party payment processors make it easy for women to work for themselves rather than companies).
It has never been easier for a woman to create her own sex business. Anyone of us can do so at the drop of hat and with very little effort or experience. The good, the bad and the ugly, we’re all here. We can sell you short or sell you the experience of a lifetime. But it was that way when we worked for the man too. So please don’t whine too much. Jump in and take your chances…it’s the nature of the beast. And read my article on said topic.
And, believe me, I’m not being critical. Hell, I’m one of the ones taking advantage of this “new & and improved” way of doing business.
The opportunity is there and it should be there. When I was a Sales Manager hiring new sales staff, my District Supervisor said of their potential for success: “Angela, you just throw them against the wall and see who sticks.” And he was right. Education, extensive experience, pure intent, positive attitude….none of that mattered or made sense. We never knew who would excel and who would fail. In fact we were many times surprised.
And it’s the same way in the Phone Sex Industry. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been right (can you believe it?) in my assertion that phone sex is more of a sales enterprise than a sex enterprise. Bells and whistles are important, but the quality of the interaction is what seals the deal. And it is the the salesperson/PSO who is responsible for that quality.
So, in fact, if someone does jump on board expecting a free and easy ride in the saddle of a caller’s horniness, you can bet that she will soon be sliding down the proverbial wall.
But we are women who are now running our own businesses.
We are: Women In Power.
Just some times we don’t act like it. We attack, we judge, we gang up. We listen to things which ring false in our hearts, yet cling to the gossip because EVERYBODY LIKES US when we do. Because the little girl in our belly just couldn’t take being ostracized from the in-crowd. So we assume, belittle, demean, and sometimes even booby trap and/or trip up our competition.
It’s not a good thing. Not a good thing at all.
Nobody is doing this wrong and nobody is doing this right. We are doing the best we can with what we have and what we know. There are as many ways to approach our businesses and how we run them as there are girls jumping in on a daily basis.
I just think that when all the dust settles, we will find that having done it morally and ethically is what mattered most. I hope I am right.
Because if I am not, it is indeed a very sad thing.
xo, Angela
