Despite my championing vanilla sex and a certain Vanilla Savant and regardless of the outrageously enjoyable vanilla encounters in my every day life, I happen to like taboo.

Interestingly enough, what I would deem taboo, what she would deem taboo and what you would deem taboo most likely varies considerably.

Which shouldn’t be a big deal. But when it comes to sex, it seems individuality doesn’t matter. And opinions, tastes and variances become huge deep chasms. In fact, when it comes to sex, most people (this sadly includes PSOs, Adult Webmasters and Sex Bloggers) become incredibly judgmental and intolerant of others.

In other words, my kink is okay and everybody else’s isn’t.

You’re a PERVERT and I’m not because:

• I fantasize about my wife having sex with a dog. But you fantasize about being your wife’s piss whore.
• I fantasize about drinking my wife’s urine. But you fantasize about raping and molesting a helpless little Catholic school girl.
• I fantasize about teaching a young virgin about sex. But you fantasize about being a faggot cocksucker, sucking big, fat, black cock.
• I fantasize about having a homoerotic experience with a man of color. But you fantasize about being fucked up the ass with some bitch’s strap-on.
• I fantasize about a lovely Mistress taking me anally. But you fantasize about your nasty whore wife spreading her whore legs for some filthy, smelly mutt.

So….

I think you get the picture. I hope you get the picture.

In my experience, taboo fantasy is not about reality. Taboo fantasy is about finding our own personal way to make sex dirty in our own minds while we masturbate. It’s different for everybody.

And I would bet the bank that the higher functioning our minds, the dirtier we need it.

I would even go farther, arguing that taboo fantasies are a healthy part of a well-balanced, functional sex life.

And just what’s so wrong with that?

xo, Angela

Birds and Bees

A little boy goes to his father and asks: Daddy, how was I born?

The father answers: Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your mother and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mother and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You’ve got male.

It’s Not Geography

Broadway: 500 seats or more.

Off Broadway: 100 – 499 seats.

Off, Off Broadway: Less than 100 seats

Necessity is the Mother

Birds and Bees was forwarded to me from my sister Bethany’s IOC. Which, if you didn’t know, stands for Intra-Office Communication in the corporate world (aka email among us more common folk).

Regarding It’s Not Geography…who knew that seating capacity rather than address defines this stuff? I sure didn’t. And I even attend at least a bit of theater here and there.

Which…has prompted me to add two new categories (I despise this “category” crap, don’t you know…but it is a necessary evil. So say the Google and SEO Gods. And the glorious and beautiful Mistress V.):

• Bethany’s Email — Which I was tempted to call Outsource Me Please. Because, as you should know, sis sends me quite a bit of these emails. Zillions, in fact. I mean, after all, don’t these executive types have anything better to do?
• Who Knew? — Which will probably go through a few name changes before I’m happy with it. But I do hear, see and learn things I’d like to share with you. So please tolerate my silliness. At least for now?

And that’s pretty much all I have to say today. So there.

Smooches

What with all this talk on the internet these days of cock harnesses, panty-licking, latex bondage, strap-ons and such it seems “vanilla” is on the verge of becoming a dirty word. Which, come to think of it, would (in a convoluted way) actually be a good thing.

At least I think so. I mean, after all, we do like dirty. Don’t we? Isn’t that how vanilla got pushed to the back of the dessert cart in the first place? Because we wanted more, more, more? First the salad bars, then wine fountains, then death by chocolate. Isn’t that kinda-sorta how we got from there to here?

Except…

If you take a very close look at what’s out there, I think you will find that more often than not there isn’t a lot of original stuff happening. It seems we still tend to be — even in our lustiest “non-vanilla” moments — creatures of habit.

Or, perhaps it is just a case of lazy sexuality: It worked before, so why try harder this time?

Or, even worse, it’s a circumstance of dull-witted wanna-be porno-preneurs providing what is basically omnomato-pornography?

All of the above occurs on more than a regular basis in the PSO community. The latest incarnation in my neck of the woods is the ignore line which invites a prospective client (aka loser, wimp, wanker) to pay (usually) big dollars to be ignored while the PSO goes about her daily life (which probably amounts to lounging in her sweatpants while watching E!).

I don’t know how this got started. But whoever thought it up first? Hoorah! Brilliant, original idea targeting a specific type of caller. Unfortunately in the realm of PSO Public Domain, the hordes have jumped upon your idea as an easy way (translation: no effort or thought needed) to fame and fortune. Some good news is that rarely do the piggy-backers get very far. They’re not smart enough to keep up the momentum and can’t produce when push comes to shove.

The savvy surfer and potential customer is not likely to invest either his time or money in what boils down to what is very Un-Original Sin. At least not for long.

Which just could be the beginning of a well-deserved renaissance for vanilla sex, the authentic Original Sin.

You do remember Adam and Eve and that pesky snake, don’t you?

xo, Angela

That is if I am the one doing the slapping.

And if it is part of a BDSM/Humiliation fantasy/role-play/scene.

Like I say about a lot of things, Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.

You can bet that smacking a whimpering sub, particularly in public, will set the tone immediately and there will be absolutely no argument as to who is boss. And I like being the boss.

And I happen to love humiliation play. Don’t look so shocked. I hate when you do that. Yes, I am smart and sweet and cute and all those nicety-nice adjectives you like to string before your elevated thoughts of me. But, as I once noted, Erotic Humiliation is Not an Oxymoron. (Tell me where you heard that before and get either a 1/2 price call or a free book by a friend of ours.)

What got me thinking about this today was reading our celebrated and esteemed Submissive Savant’s blog entry, Face Slapping as Erotic Play, which was actually an expansion upon an earlier entry, Face Slapping. Seems the original piece was still garnering questions and comments and Richard deemed it less messy to just begin the discussion anew.

Which goes to show that…contrary to what many a wanna-be princess promotes (disrespect and/or disregard for a slave’s intellect and humanity is plantation behavior, not Goddess behavior), being brilliant and being submissive are not mutually exclusive and is why Richard is the official Submissive Savant of Zen Fetish. Just ask Alexandra: Smart submissives make the most reverent and obedient pets. And as Richard notes, “a person can enjoy being humiliated in erotic play space without that bleeding over into the rest of his life.”

Which goes to show that…face slapping as a form of Dom/sub play is more popular than one might first assume.

Which goes to show that…I am neither predictable nor run-of-the-mill and never will be. So quit trying to figure me out. If family & friends, a therapist and more than a few ex-boyfriends cannot manage the task, why should you be so lucky?

Anyway, back to the face slapping.

Yvonne had stopped by and was wondering why a man would enjoy being slapped, which is a perfectly understandable inquiry, dontcha think? Didn’t you have a similar question? Richard, being a submissive man of exquisite desires, responded that, “Surprise: there’s huge psychological impact when you don’t expect it. That fits in ideally with punishment. At times I like being found at fault and chastised.”

I would just add that from a (phone fantasy) Mistress perspective, the psychological impact is, indeed, a thing of beauty. Both Top and Bottom, Mistress and Slave, Dominant and Submissive should be having a heck of a lot of fun when participating in Erotic Face Slapping. Otherwise, somebody has got something terribly wrong.

For me, the experience is on the verge of being intoxicating. And I don’t say that lightly. There is an imagined suspension of safety, of boundaries desecrated that makes it absolutely transcending. I would think a good Domina –phone or real time– would feed off of her slave’s reaction to her slap, upping the ante for both of them.

What do you think? Mistress Sky? HDB? Lyndee? David C.? Mr. Allen? PQS? Mr. Smith? Richard? Mistress V? Puzzler? Is anybody home?

And if you want to read All You Wanted to Know About Erotic Face Slapping but Were Afraid to Ask Richard and Entourage, be sure to follow the above linkage. It is, after all, where the BDSM cognoscenti are apt to be found on any given day.

xo, Angela

Yesterday for me was what one might call “brittle.” Blame it on the weather (more snow…believe it or not), the temperature (one degree Fahrenheit…I kid you not) and a bit of a spat with a friend (which we will not discuss). My intent was to work up a storm, whispering filthy, dirty things into the ears of good boys trying desperately to be bad. To do it over and over and over again.

Alas, my self-indulgent mood-spasm got in the way and I did no such thing. Instead –which isn’t such a bad thing for me and my “bigger life picture”– I attended to a lot of fringe personal and fringe professional stuff that had been floating around, yet weighting me down.

A few items of good news, so let me catch you up, okay?

First: SuperVert, who is an official Zen Savant (Deviant Savant) and very good friend, did a New Year’s eve blog entry for the loners out there (of which I was one) and mentioned the gauntlet I threw down during the holidays. Did you know that I am the first and only “official” Phone Sex Operator his site PervScan has ever had? Do you know how special that makes me feel? How grateful? How lucky? How blessed? Because Mr. Vert is simply divine in every way, dontcha know?

Then: Coming soon to an Amazon.com near you: A poem (I Love You With All of my Hard-On), a short story (Mary’s Queer) and two of my essays (Do I Need a New Job or What? and Please Pass the Egg Nog: Pornography or Porn-not-graphy?) are going to be featured in a new Sex Kitten book, to be published this spring, Riding the Knot in Our Collective Shorts: A collection of rants and erotica. So a lady can get pissed and then have masturbatory make-up sex. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? I can’t wait to read it myself!

And: Thanks to a loyal reader/caller who kindly pointed me in the proper direction, else I might have missed this one. The edgy, progressive and hip sex-zine, Fleshbot actually blogged my blog in one of their ultra-cool Sex Blog Roundups! This particular Roundup, subtitled Pornified Edition (proving I am not the only one to make up words to fit my mood, need, or intent), was courtesy of Chelsea Girl who happens to be a mighty fine writer with a blog of her own, pretty dumb things. I’ve added her to my links under Hot Blogs, because she is a phenomenal writer. She dresses it down as every day prose, but don’t let her fool you…her words are pure poetry. Check her out, because there just might be a test. And with that test there just might be a surprise.

So there you have it: While a bit of personal and professional detritus has been taken care of and life is a bit lighter now, I’m still basically snowed in. Since it’s cold enough to freeze your coochie off, I’m burning logs in my fireplace. Deviant Savant is wonderful as always. I’m about to be published in a real book for a second time. And I’ve been officially “pornified” by FleshBot.

One more thing: I found the coolest Erica Jong quote which I’ve added to Zen Wisdom…

xo, Angela