You may have noticed I’ve been kinda-sorta redecorating.  Blistered Lips is in its 3rd or 4th incarnation.  I am loving the new look and probably will be sticking with it for a while.  At least I hope so.  Mostly I try to keep things simple.  No matter where you find me, you don’t find a whole lot of T&A because, well, if you have a search engine, you can easily find the dirty pictures all by yourself.   (Of course if you’re in a jam and want your eye candy on the fly and with no fuss or muss, you can add this guy to your bookmarks.  Why?  Because I did.  And if it’s good enough for me, well, it’s good enough for you.)

So, yeah, not a lot of dirty pictures here. 

Except …

Here at Zen Fetish, what I have done is implemented a new editor, actually a second new editor, and am playing around with exactly which of the two better serves my needs.  My main reason for doing this is to include a thumbnail at the beginning of most entries, which wasn’t possible with the original editor.  Or maybe it was and I was just too dumb to figure it out. 

Anyway, I thought that just a little picture tying into the entry’s theme or topic, or even just to provide a bit of eye candy might be nice for my readers.  You can let me know what you think.  Really, you can.  I welcome the good, bad and ugly.  Just don’t get too ugly.  Remember, I do have a Bitch Goddess streak in me.

Also, I put my two awards up in the side bar, because I’m such an egomaniac and wanted to brag.  The Cunning Linguists Journals box?  Click on it every day.  It helps me out.  Really it does.  But just once a day.  And check out where it takes you, because there are a lot of other bloggers that you will find there, some of whom just might be your particular cup of kink.

You may also have notice the book advertisement for Fetish Sex:  An Erotic Guide for Couples.  Don’t be shy, click the link (over there —->)and read all about it.  And if you want to buy it, be my guest.  If not, that’s okay too.  It’s not that I make huge amounts of money, believe you me.  But it does make me look good as an Amazon associate.

The other thing I did was downsize the category and archives so that there is now a drop-down box for each.  It takes up way less space and is much less distracting, yet is still handily available for the enthusiastic and/or smitten visitor.

So I think it’s looking pretty good around here.  I hope you think so, too.

***

I went running around today and, besides grocery shopping, got my hair and nails (pedicure and manicure) done.  Yum yum!  I feel gorgeous.  I keep thinking I’m going to give up the fingernails, but just never can resist.  Giving up the pedicure isn’t even an option.

***

I had to fight snow on my way back home, so I’m rather tired this evening and am going to take a night off of the kink-O-phone.  You better miss me.  Or else.

xo, Angela

Bethany sent the following to me the other day, and I was just simply fascinated.  My, oh my, what a different world it was just one hundred years ago.  It gets one thinking about metaphysical philosophy and the nature of life and what it all means.

Maybe all we can do is think and, therefore be.  And that's all we've really got to go on?  

Every generation cannot possibly imagine how different the world will be for the next generation.  I mean, do you think the lady over there ever imagined her picture would show up on the internet in blog written by a girl who talked dirty on the phone for a living?  Or that nudity and sex would be pretty much out in the open, shared generously via both adult and mainstream venues?

100 Years Ago:  Statistics for the Year 1907 

1. The average life expectancy in the U.S. was only 47 years old.
2. Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub. (I would simply die.)
3. Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.  (No phone sex?)
4. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.  (Who could afford phone sex?)
5. There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S. and only 144 miles of paved roads.
6. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
7. Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.
8. With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21^st most populous state in the Union.
9. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
10. The average wage in the U.S. Was 22 Cents per hour.
11. The average U.S. Worker made between $200 and $400  per year.
12. A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist dentist made $2,500 per year, a veterinarian $1,500 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
13. More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. Took place at HOME.
14. Nineteen percent of all U.S. Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION.  Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."
15. Sugar cost four cents a pound.
16. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
17. Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
18. Most women only washed their hair once a month and they used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.  (OMFG!  I HAVE to wash my hair every day.  Borax?  WTF?)
19. Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering their country for any reason.
20. Five leading leading causes of death in the U. S. were: 1. Pneumonia 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart Disease 5. Stroke.  (Diarrhea?)
21. The American flag  had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska had not yet been admitted to the Union.
22. The population of Las Vegas, Nevada , was only 30.
23. Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea had not been invented yet. (No crossword puzzles?  Did you hear that PQS and Puzzler?)
24. There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
25. Two out of of every 10 U.S. Adults couldn't read or write. 
26. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
27. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.  (God bless the good old days.)
28. Back then, pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."
29. There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.A.

So we've traded the chance of dying of diarrhea for the chance of death by murder.  Hmmm.  I guess there is always good and bad and everything in between as the world moves on.  Coffee was cheap, drugs were easily attainable and everybody was driving at a speed limit that I pretty much would like to see reinstated.  But if I couldn't bath or wash may hair everyday, well, ewww!  That is just downright unacceptable.  

So I figure God put me into just what century was best for me.  But I can't help but be curious about what the world will be like 100 years from now.

xo, Angela 

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ auld lang syne.

Despite my sassy and sometimes cocky demeanor, I do have my mushy side (leave the Bitch Slave Boys to their dreams) and Robert Burn’s song actually always causes the tears to well.  Even typing them here, the music and words ran through my head, then took a detour right straight to my heart.

I’m actually going to a party this evening, which should make your jaw drop, because New Year’s Eve with all its forced frivolity is something I normally and obstinately avoid.  Don’t worry–I won’t drink and drive.  And won’t even get drunk.  Maybe a slight buzz if the mood is right, but I do mean just right.

A fair to middling year as years go.  But I blogged and you showed up.  Some of you called and we explored your fantasies, some of you wrote emails to say hello or comment privately on a particular post, some of you commented here, some of you were silent…but I felt your presence.  

We started the year out with a (much celebrated) public lynching for chrizt’s sake.  It broke my heart.  And you understood. 

I got sidetracked with way too many projects and — for a while — didn’t blog as often as I should have (no new savants in 2007!  But I promise more in 2008) and you still showed up and I love you for it.

You sent me dirty pictures and I published two that I thought were super sexy here and here.  And everybody agreed with us whole-heartedly … proving that we do, indeed, know what is fucking hot! 

Our resident Pervert Savant kept us entertained with his very original and always hilarious installments of Lingerie on the Razor-Wire, The Poignant Story of a Young Pre-Operative Transsexual Forced into a Life of Twisted Sex and Degradation in the Sordid Confines of America’s Penal System!

We went to a wedding.  And I must say that you looked absolutely dapper, my darling. 

I shared with you the inter-office emails my sister, Bethany, forwarded to me — including God vs. Devil and What Men Do with Post-Its.

We went parochial and liked it so much we did it again. 

We got hot and bothered, down and dirty, all fired up, queer kinky and lesbian lovely.  It was downright decadent and we didn’t even have to wash out our mouths with soap afterwards.

Humiliation was the kink du jour, so I was in turn a Righteous Bitch, a Heartless Vamp, a Cuckolding Brat.  And then I laughed my ass off while you begged for mercy.  Admit it, you loved every minute of it.

I lamented and you held my hand.  I was tacky and you pretended to not notice.  I bragged about my this and that and you were happy for me. So I bragged some more and still you were happy for me.  I fucked off and you waited patiently.  I got on my soap box and you didn’t even roll your eyes.  I pontificated and you just smiled.  I bloviated and you acted like what I said mattered. I fucked around with everybody and anybody and you forgave me. Or maybe it’s just that you like to watch?

We read poetry.  We found some cuckold poetry.  And then there was the poem that made me cry the very first time read it.  And who can forget Shakespeare’s sonnets proving he was a pussy-whipped cuckold?

I kissed you.  It was very French.  Did you like it? 

I fell in love or lust  — or something in between —  over and over again …with Bitchy Jones  …with Supervert   …with Jerotic  …with Slip of a Girl  …with Sweat Shop Sissy  …with The Provocateur.

Did I say fair to middling?  On second thought, it was a simply lovely year.

xo, Angela 

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.  ~Jean Baptiste Massieu 

So here comes Thanksgiving.  While I am quite capable of putting together a big feast, I will be having dinner with my mother tomorrow.  What many callers and readers don't know is that my mother was disabled by a devastating stroke at a very young age.  One day she was healthy, the next day her whole world–and that of her children–changed in a blink of the eye.  

I could grieve the loss of the mother who always bought the biggest turkey in the store, who sometimes tried to trick me into eating oysters by mixing them into the stuffing, who enlisted the help of my sister and me to make pumpkin pie from scratch and who always went beyond the call of duty to make–not just Thanksgiving–but every holiday something we would hold to our hearts and always remember.  

But I don't.  According to the doctors, that my mother is even alive is a miracle.  She might be in a wheelchair and need assistance with her daily routines, but her mind and heart are whole.  I am filled with gratitude for the memories I do have and for the opportunity to give back to her when she needs me most.  So I'm a pretty lucky girl, when it's all said and done.

So have a good one…and please don't spend the day alone.  Find someone, even if it's a bum on the street and you have to buy him his meal.  It just might end up being the best Thanksgiving you ever had.

Thanksgiving Riddles 

1. Why did the Turkey cross the road?  (It was the chicken's day off.)
2. Why did the Pilgrim cross the road?  (He was chasing the turkey.)
3. Why did the Indian wear so many feathers?  (To keep his wigwam.)
4. Is turkey soup good for your health?  (Not if you're a turkey.)
5. Why were the cranberries red?  (They saw the turkey dressing.)

Ten Things that Sound Dirty on Thanksgiving

1. Just reach in and grab the giblets.
2. Whew!  That's one terrific spread!
3. And he forces his way into the end zone.
4. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
5. Talk about huge breasts!
6. It's broken.  Whenever I push the tip, nothing squirts out.
7. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
8. Tying the legs together will keep her moist.
9. She's 5000 lbs fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.
10. Don't play with your meat.

Turkey Shopping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy answered, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Cannibal Thanksgiving

Two cannibals are eating Thanksgiving dinner.  One turns to the other and says, "You know, I really can't stand my mother-in-law.

His dinner partner answers, "Then try the potato salad."

Last but not Least

CLICK HERE for your card.

xo, Angela