Ok, that might not be quite accurate. But you would agree it’s a great title for a blog entry? Yes?

What I should have said was that a whole bunch of people want my brain. Then again, maybe I was right the first time, because we all know that the brain is the most powerful sex organ. Don’t believe me? Well, I heard it from an expert. So there, wisenheimer!

Ok, I’ll quit kidding around.

It is just going to be a delightfully busy week for me. I’ve completed two artist interviews (Molly Crabapple and Burke Heffner) for Sex Kitten and getting ready to submit them for publication at the site. I just finished a review of a sex toy there, which was published today.

I am being interviewed for Backwash, along with Doxy Wringer, regarding our adventures in the phone sex industry. I am trying like heck (and getting nowhere) to get my professional site updated. Plus I’m in the middle of two books (the best part of my day) Extraterrestrial Sex Fetish, Necrophelia Variations, which I will be reviewing soon. And I am writing my own little stories for Blistered Lips and Delia CD.

And on the personal front: I have to look for a new doctor (my regular GP pissed me off big time), take my mother to her doctor, attend my mother’s care conference, hire a maid (two interviews scheduled) and go to the beauty salon (at a moment’s notice–if someone cancels).

Then there is mail to send, bills to pay, a big decision to ponder (to move or not to move – that is the question), empty cupboards to fill (I hate grocery shopping), directions to read (new iPod and microwave) and just gathering the everyday debris of my life into one neat pile. Oh, and I need to file for an extension on my taxes as my exboyfriend, who has done them for the last three years, is kinda sorta MIA.

And, of course, in between all of this, take calls.

And don’t forget Easter, which, since I’m the slightly co-dependent sibling, I gotta make it happen for everybody.

Hmmm. Amphetamines? Lotsa caffeine?

Or maybe just some old-fashioned gratitude that everybody wants my sex, er, I mean brain?

• Sky has fallen for Chicken Little
• Sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth: Monument to Pro-Life
• Phil Spector’s hair just might help with insanity plea
• Cheating men outed
• Politics as usual
• Financial Dominatrix gets it right
• Phantom: Sets new Broadway record. (SEE IT!)
• FREE Google software
• Fun with Kink
• Some people have no balls
• Bitch Back Mountain
• I’m published! (in case you didn’t know)
• The Beav and friends

Well, I’ve been a good girl, a responsible girl, signing on to take calls for the first time in a while. I had my reasons for laying low, which I will probably blog about in the near future.

It’s turned into a rather busy day, with gentlemen callers (my twisted version of such) veering from reprimanding me for the unexplained and unannounced absence to kissing my cute little butt in supplication, begging me not to go away again and everything in between. I’ll take all of the above. And it really feels good to be putting in a full day on the phones. Even had a new caller, who I think may stick around.

The most promising fantasy of the day is actually on hold, as we were unexpectedly interrupted. But very soon I will be the dominant, wicked wife to whom the husband subjugates himself, despite my very strict rules (down to choosing his attire for a night of wifely adoration), seering humilation of said spouse and continuous delight in forcing him to do dirty, filthy things. Now doesn’t that sound like fun? Does to me!

Along with all the updates I am working on (for my professional website, which I mentioned yesterday) I am trying to whip this and another blog into shape so they are finally presentable enough to put out on the Internet. If you have been reading this as it unfolds, then you are, indeed, privileged and very lucky. I haven’t let very many people even know it exists. As always, you can thank me later.

There are many topics we are going to dance around as this space of mine continues to expand, including (but not limited to): financial domination, strap-ons, mainstream books I’ve read and love, really awesome people on the web, phonesex philosphies and how they differ, the world of fetish (lingerie, smoking, heels, tickling, leather, etc.), my personal shoe fetish, friends in my everyday life (you’ve met Nanette already), taboo desires (golden/brown showers, incest, cuckolding, forced homosexuality, etc.), the difference between fantasy and reality and just about anything and everything that strikes my little fancy.

Stick around. I think we are in for a bumpy ride. Just the way I like it.

As you might have noticed, I kinda took a break from the blog yesterday. I say kinda, because I did post a funny picture so there was at least something there. So stop complaining, for crying out loud.

By the way, that picture was sent to me by Murray (thanks, honey). Supposedly, it is an actual bathroom in some European hotel chain. Details were fuzzy, as Murray received it from a friend of a friend of a friend. But it is awfully funny, isn’t it?

So I talked with my webmistress yesterday regarding the big update we are about to embark upon at my professional website. Rather exciting because I’ve been working up to this for quite a while. A lot has been happening personally that kept getting it pushed aside, and I was getting more than a tad weary with the entire thing. But things are finally coming together. Smutville is going to get a thorough makeover. The rooms will feature a variety of both famous and infamous fetish personalities and will include a few new rooms such as The Smoking Lounge and The Locker Room. This is going to be so much fun!

I’m getting ready to settle down to read two books written by Supervert, Necrophillia Variations and Extraterrestrial Sex Fetish. Now tell me those don’t sound like something to sink your teeth into? Go ahead, I dare you. If you follow the above link, you can read more about the books at his site. I have to confess that I am mixing a whole lot of pleasure with a little bit of business, as I plan to review both books for Sex Kitten. I will try to remember to let you know when the reviews are published.

I’ve been taking calls, but not full-time, just kind of slip-sliding around. Seems a certain somebody wants a pair of my stockings. He is a dear heart and I do think I will oblige him. Two callers have expressed interest in commissioning erotica from me. Another caller, just because he likes my writing so much, has requested a mainstream story. Like I’ve said before, I have the greatest clients. Smooches to all of you.

I am also participating in an ongoing round table discussion, The State of Sex in the U.S, being featured at Adult Backwash. Lots of interesting people are putting in their two cents–including Tasty Trixie, Lawrence G. Walters, Esq. and Hester Nash–so you might want to check it out, maybe even leave a comment.

Oh, one more thing. Doxy Wringer and I were recently interviewed about our chosen avocations by the one and the same Gracious Sizzle conducting the roundtable discussion. So Ms. Sizzle should be publishing those to Adult Backwash soon. That should be fun. Dontcha think?

I’ll keep you posted. Don’t I always?

The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd ~Sir Walter Ralegh

If all the world and love were young, And truth in every shepherd’s tongue, These pretty pleasures might me move To live with thee and be thy love.

Time drives the flocks from field to fold, When rivers rage and rocks grow cold And Philomel becometh dumb; The rest complains of cares to come.

The flowers do fade, and wanton fields To wayward winter reckoning yields A honey tongue, a heart of gall, Is fancy’s spring, but sorrow’s fall.

Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses, Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten, In folly ripe, in reason rotten.

Thy belt of straw and ivy buds, Thy coral clasps and amber studs, All these in me no means can move To come to thee and be thy love.

But could youth last and love still breed, Had joys no date nor age no need, Then these delights my mind might move To live with thee and be thy love.