I’ve mentioned–ok, I’ll admit it: gushed, drooled and wet my panties over–Supervert when steering you to his fan-tabulous bevy of sites on more than one occasion. The man is a frickin genius after all.

He is the Lone Ranger of the Internet (Who was that virtual man?): Kemo Sabe to all who study the dark and dangerous side of kink. Of course there’s the added benefit of allowing us to feel good about our hidden fantasies while holding them up against others’ morbid and twisted realities.

But today is Labor Day, and if you’re as anti-picnics as I am, you just might find yourself a bit on the lonely side of things. So I’m inviting you to a party, courtesy of Mr. Vert via the newest addition to his ever-expanding web-porium, PervScan.tv.

Guaranteed to be more fun than sweaty volleyball games, voracious army ants and drunken relatives, watching this line-up (Doggy Styles, Toilet Manners, Pantywaists, Nibby Neighbors–just to name a few) is a great way to pass the time and a sure cure to any exhibitionistic notions we’ve been secretly considering.

Plus, it goes well with popcorn.

xo, Tonto

By now you should have read Jeremy Edwards’ frisky little story After Tennis. I promised you a little more info on said gentleman, so perk up your cute little ears and have a listen.

Although I only ran into Mr. Edwards (who also goes by Jerotic–don’t you just love it?) recently when reading his story The Girl Who Loved to Pee, evidently he’s been stirring up quite a bit of mischief with his wicked wordiness for a while now. As I told you yesterday, he has a nice little crib of his own, but it seems that Jeremy has what my grandmother refers to as a “gasoline ass.” He just can’t be a good boy and stay at home!

For example, he’s becoming quite the Casanova over at Oysters and Chocolate (which, by the way, just became a free site–so scoot over there now), where high-brow babes go to get their grafenberg tickled by some of the best writers in the biz. You can bet that Jeremy’s Any Day of the Week and Vacation Plans are doing some tickling. Wonder which is the oysters and which is the chocolate. Hmmmm…

He’s also charming the panties off of a few ladies at Tit-Elation with an exquisitely naughty tidbit, Adrienne’s Ironic Lingerie. (The man does have a way with words, doesn’t he?) You can read a juicy little excerpt of this story over at the lingerie blog of A Slip of a Girl who was so intrigued she had him back for an interview. Then I suggest signing up for a membership with Tit-Elation, because membership does have its privileges.

Evidently insatiable, his purple prose can also be found tucked between the linens of the pre-eminent erotic magazine on the Internet, Clean Sheets. Go ahead–slip into something more comfortable; then tuck yourself in with a few of his very naughty bedtime stories: If We Were and The Ass Pajama Lottery.

Whew! I don’t know about you. But I need a cigarette after all of that.

xo

Well, beloved smutters, I do believe it’s time again for one of my little scavanger lists: a bit of this and a bit of that.

• The Biggest News: Veronica Varlow and Burke Heffner have gone and gotten themselves married! To each other, of course. Do you remember my interview with Burke for Sex Kitten and my little piece a while back on Veronica’s online boutique, Danger Dame? Check out this lovely wedding pic at Veronica’s blog. Are they adorable or what? These two are very good people and I am just tickled pink for them.
• Speaking of Sex-Kitten, I recently reviewed the very naughty flick, BEND OVER BOYFRIEND PART II: MORE ROCKIN’ LESS TALKIN’. You might want to check it out, maybe even buy the DVD to keep for your very own. Cuz you ain’t gettiin’ mine, honey-darling!
• Mark Twain was most definitely not a fan of James Fenimore Cooper! Read all about it right here.
• I don’t know about you, but I am very unhappy about poor Pluto losing planet status. Apparently, there are plenty of others who feel the same way.
• I know I keep saying that I’m going to be updating Literate Smut soon. But I really am…honest injun! I’m very excited about erotic photographer, Dave Hare, who’s just agreed to place a gallery at my Smut Galleries. Make sure to visit his site…he is frickin’ awesome.
• I hate to break it to you, and it’s not that I don’t love ya (you’re the only one for me, baby), but very soon –in fact when Literate Smut is finally updated– I will be raising my prices. It’s not that I’m greedy, it’s that I only have so much energy and voice power to expend per day and I need to work smart. Plus, I do happen to put out a pretty fine product. Which means my $2.19 per min. rate will be going up to $2.49 per min. Of course, special callers (you know who you are) would tell you that I am very generous with treats (so you might wanna try to attain “special caller” status).
• Cuckoldry anyone?
• And if it ends up that Karr is guilty, it will a great American tragedy. Good gawd, what that family was put through. Regardless of his guilt, I was and am disgusted with the lip-licking press and every-fucking-body-else who was so eager to suspect/blame the Ramseys. Why do we do that? What’s wrong with us?
• Welcome home to T. Bye bye to the other T. Can’t you all just stay in the same place for a while? And thanks to Coochie Boy for being so sweet.
• Did I tell you I sprained my ankle? Been miserable all weekend. But I think it is on the mend now.
• Happy NiteFlirt anniversary to Lustful Alice and Dear Madame. Older women make better lovers. Isn’t that how the song goes? I’ve spoken personally with both of these lovely ladies, and they come with my personal guarantee that you will be treated royally…one way or the other. So give ’em a call.
• One more thing. Have you ever hear of No-pan kissa? Well you have now.

Ok, I think I’ll go to bed now.

xo

Just so you know…

I haven’t forgotten you. (In fact, I know each and every one of you [kinda-sorta] by name.) I’ve been wrapped up in some time-consuming projects, which I’d put off longer than I should have and it’s kept me rather distracted from this blog.

We have a lot to discuss when I settle down here and focus: New links, good friends, and all that jazz. I am very lucky to have met the people I’ve met here on the web and would love very much for you to meet them too. So make sure you stay tuned.

***

In the meantime, check out Machine Gun Granny. Make sure to watch the entire thing (very short) and hold on to your toodles, cuz I think she just might mean business.

And…now we have phone art, thanks to the newest development in cell phones.

By the way, Mr. Goedde is also a most excellent fetish photographer.

And here’s a bit of gloom for you.

Question: Do you think it’s a turn-on to watch a woman masturbate?

xo