You’ll just have to keep it in your pants, my love.

Because….

The piles of snow around town are finally melting and receding.

It is time for me to make my escape. So I am on my way out the door for a bit of extended R&R which will last anywhere from 7 to 14 days depending on how things go. I’m not sure of all the details except that a day at the spa is on the agenda. I should have at least sporadic internet access and will try to touch base with all two of my readers on a somewhat regular basis.

I hope you miss me, because I will surely miss you. You’re kinda-sorta my habit, dontcha you know?

***

By the way, over the weekend I not only worked my butt off taking calls; I also totally redecorated my phonesex store front.

In keeping with my long-held personal belief that less is indeed more and speaks volumes about someone’s confidence in their own abilities (bragging is so yesterday, dontcha think?) and therefore tends to attract savvier, sophisticate-types (in this case, the “adulterate cognoscenti”), I kept it simple and sweet.

And I am just tickled pink with how it all finally turned out. Of course, with titles like Macho Sissy, Indecent Exposure and Prick Tease how could it not be simply divine?

***

While I am away and basking in the sweet glow of decadent laziness, I might try to put together a few pieces of erotica. Would you like that? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

In the meantime, if you haven’t been to Blistered Lips yet, give it a gander. While I haven’t updated or added anything new in quite a while, there is a collection of my erotica there which is free for you to read. Maybe something will catch your fancy or whet your whistle or tickle your willie-bone.

***

Need something to read while I am gone?

• Sex Kitten
• PervScan
• Down On My Knees
• Mistress V
• Luscious Lyndee
• Slip of a Girl
• Porno Person

***

Need someone to call while I’m gone?

• Naughty Blonde (barely legal & very sexy)
• Isabel Moon (new to the biz with discounted rates)
• Hung Brandon (he’s having a sale!)
• MILF Chelle (and she has cam!)
• Hypno – Seductrix (oh oh)

***

Okay folks. Lil’ Miss Angela is out the door. And you be good while I’m gone. At least make the effort.

xo, Angela

But we knew that, didn’t we?

The deal: There is this “thing” that bloggers do which I believe — don’t quote me on this — ends up propagating more traffic to our individual blogs, wherein a blogger creates what is known as an Intenet meme, AKA as a royal pain in the gluteus maximus. (read all about it).

The latest meme making the rounds: Ten Oddball Things About Me.

And I have been tagged to make this list about myself by not one, but two of my good friends (at least I think) and blogger-compatriots…

Slip of a Girl (pssst…here’s a secret I’m telling just you and only you: Slip of a Girl is about to become the first FEMALE Zen Savant) and Richard of Down on my Knees and many other cool places.

Ready? Let’s get this bit of silliness over with.

The Rules: Once you’ve been tagged you can’t be retagged, you have to write a blog with 10 random things, facts or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 more people to torture (er…tag…Louise said tag) and post a note telling them they’re tagged and make them come along and read your blog.

1. I wear socks, usually white, in lieu of slippers around the house. Since I work from home, this means I buy lotsa socks. (Hint: Always a good present.)
2. I do believe I may be addicted to brushing my teeth. I just groove on the entire process and use three (sometimes four) different items when doing my super routine (which occurs simultaneously with my super bath).
3. I sleep with my bedroom window wide open and the heat down. In the morning I close the bedroom window and turn up the heat. One of the benefits of not being married is that nobody bitches at me for this.
4. I have at least one pair of scissors in every room of my home. The kitchen and bathrooms have more than one pair. Plus their is a pair in both my sewing basket and purse.
5. My bath towels are white. So are the hand towels. So are the wash cloths. So are the bathroom rugs. No exceptions.
6. When I was in third grade a teacher accused me of copying a story I’d written for an assignment. She did this in front of the entire class. I was humiliated. To this day I hate her. I fantasize about finding her and grabbing her collar and spitting in her face, then telling her: “My name is Angie and I am all grown up now. And you know what, bitch? I wrote the fucking story. I wrote it all by myself.”
7. As dominant and twisted and kinky as I am when I do calls…I am rather shy and conservative when it comes to sex in my personal life. That is until I get to know and trust you. Then watch out.
8. I enjoy lesbian erotica and even masturbate to it. Yet, I am not attracted to women in my every day life. Hmmm….
9. I really don’t like porn. Which surprises a lot of people, since I deal in dirty fantasies on a daily basis. I guess that is because a lot of stuff is fun to think about and looks real pretty (can get me hot) when I imagine it, but seems pretty ugly as a reality.
10. I am a dog person. But I have a cat. A cross-dressing cat. Maybe I’m punishing him for not being a dog?

Part 2: Ten More Victims

Bloggers:

Mistress Sky (‘cuz she’s cool)
Luscious Lyndee
Mistress V
Isabella Valentine
Kylie (a new friend)
Madame Dearest
Kat, the Courtesan (cuz I miss her)
Porno Person

Resident Savants (via comment section):

Vanilla Savant
Pervert Savant

I’ve been the good girl, done the right thing, been a team player and all that jazz. I am SOOOO outta here.

Angela

Oh…and another thing? The next person who drags me into something like this? I will secretly sign you up for an Amway Distributorship. It won’t be pretty.

That is if I am the one doing the slapping.

And if it is part of a BDSM/Humiliation fantasy/role-play/scene.

Like I say about a lot of things, Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.

You can bet that smacking a whimpering sub, particularly in public, will set the tone immediately and there will be absolutely no argument as to who is boss. And I like being the boss.

And I happen to love humiliation play. Don’t look so shocked. I hate when you do that. Yes, I am smart and sweet and cute and all those nicety-nice adjectives you like to string before your elevated thoughts of me. But, as I once noted, Erotic Humiliation is Not an Oxymoron. (Tell me where you heard that before and get either a 1/2 price call or a free book by a friend of ours.)

What got me thinking about this today was reading our celebrated and esteemed Submissive Savant’s blog entry, Face Slapping as Erotic Play, which was actually an expansion upon an earlier entry, Face Slapping. Seems the original piece was still garnering questions and comments and Richard deemed it less messy to just begin the discussion anew.

Which goes to show that…contrary to what many a wanna-be princess promotes (disrespect and/or disregard for a slave’s intellect and humanity is plantation behavior, not Goddess behavior), being brilliant and being submissive are not mutually exclusive and is why Richard is the official Submissive Savant of Zen Fetish. Just ask Alexandra: Smart submissives make the most reverent and obedient pets. And as Richard notes, “a person can enjoy being humiliated in erotic play space without that bleeding over into the rest of his life.”

Which goes to show that…face slapping as a form of Dom/sub play is more popular than one might first assume.

Which goes to show that…I am neither predictable nor run-of-the-mill and never will be. So quit trying to figure me out. If family & friends, a therapist and more than a few ex-boyfriends cannot manage the task, why should you be so lucky?

Anyway, back to the face slapping.

Yvonne had stopped by and was wondering why a man would enjoy being slapped, which is a perfectly understandable inquiry, dontcha think? Didn’t you have a similar question? Richard, being a submissive man of exquisite desires, responded that, “Surprise: there’s huge psychological impact when you don’t expect it. That fits in ideally with punishment. At times I like being found at fault and chastised.”

I would just add that from a (phone fantasy) Mistress perspective, the psychological impact is, indeed, a thing of beauty. Both Top and Bottom, Mistress and Slave, Dominant and Submissive should be having a heck of a lot of fun when participating in Erotic Face Slapping. Otherwise, somebody has got something terribly wrong.

For me, the experience is on the verge of being intoxicating. And I don’t say that lightly. There is an imagined suspension of safety, of boundaries desecrated that makes it absolutely transcending. I would think a good Domina –phone or real time– would feed off of her slave’s reaction to her slap, upping the ante for both of them.

What do you think? Mistress Sky? HDB? Lyndee? David C.? Mr. Allen? PQS? Mr. Smith? Richard? Mistress V? Puzzler? Is anybody home?

And if you want to read All You Wanted to Know About Erotic Face Slapping but Were Afraid to Ask Richard and Entourage, be sure to follow the above linkage. It is, after all, where the BDSM cognoscenti are apt to be found on any given day.

xo, Angela

Yes, I am cranky at times. But you do so love me, dontcha? Just admit it; you know that you do.

The above button was sent by my sister (I have more…just you wait.), once again from her intra-office email. Because what else is corporate America doing these days but playing on the internet? We who work on the net don’t find the silliness of email play quite so fascinating.  In fact emails can be quite a royal pain.

So what might a naughty & nice gal like myself have to be cranky about? Well…

• Foxfire, which is usually awesome and I highly recommend as your browser of choice, actually lost all my bookmarks. I was furious and in a panic, as I tend to get with technical fuck-ups. But a good geek boy fixed it for me. (Thanks!)
• I gave away way too much money recently –Christmas, don’t you know?– and I just checked my bank balance. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
• More snow tomorrow. (Dear God: Enough with the snow already! It was a nice touch for the holidays, but I’ve got places to go and people to see.)
• I figured out how to replace my ink cartridges in my printer only to have the stupid thing start telling me there was a paper jam and there wasn’t. I swear there wasn’t. That one just about did me in. But it is better now. Thanks again to good geek boy.
• I want a new car and a new condo. Girls who want such big ticket items need to learn to save their money rather than giving it away. I’m trying.

But I have lotsa good stuff happening too…and I happen to have a very appreciative heart despite my whining. I am gifted in that I can be cranky and happy at the same time.

And speaking of being gifted: As far as gifts went, I had the best Christmas since my childhood. And I do have awesome friends. Richard, Deviant Savant, Mistress V and Lyndee are just a few who come to mind.

And then there are my beloved callers who are just so fucking smart and downright adorable. I do believe that I have the cream of the crop when it comes to clientele. Just look at the commentary here at my blog. And they always say the nicest, sweetest things about me.

And I have a new hairdo which is simply fab!

***

By the way. Luscious Lyndee has been a very busy girl lately. She has a totally redesigned site, which you can see my clicking the above link. She also has recorded two fantasies which sound pretty interesting. I just might listen myself. You can find them here. But the biggest news is her new website, Pink Panty Cafe for sissies and panty boys. Make sure to check it out and visit often if you thrill to the idea of dressing up for a Mistress or lover or even a group of mean girls.

And if you are a PSO or owner/operator of an adult site looking for a talented, committed and creative webmaster to design your website, blog or even help you with HTML, check out Designs by Lovies. She is the wunderkind who took Lyndee’s ideas and brought them to fruition.

I am off to bed. Wish me sweet dreams. Or at least a few dirty ones.

xo, Angela

….and you’re not. (Such is your fortune when loving a Phone Sex Domina who is in the middle of seasonal inanity, don’t ya know?)

Kidding aside, I would, of course, be referring to Santa Claus. And I’m way behind schedule. Which shouldn’t surprise you. I’ve certainly adjusted to the roller coaster that is my life, so you might as well jump on board for the ride. And I don’t want to hear any complaining. Got that?

Ya know, in college, I was always way ahead of the “Holiday” game. Perhaps that was due to necessary budgeting, something of which I do little of these days.

With my couponing and jumping-through-hoops-to-save-a-dime days being gone (I hope) forever, maybe I’ve lost the desire for planning ahead? Or the will? The ability?

Who knows, who cares. It is what it is.

And I do have somewhat of an excuse as I am just emerging from a snowstorm which dumped twenty-two inches in my back yard. Anybody got a shovel? Better yet, a cute little slave boy who brings his own shovel that you might want to lend me? Lyndee? Mistress V? Mistress Sky? Slip of a Girl?

I can’t ask The Savants. I mean, after all, their major function is to sit and look pretty in my curio cabinet. Anything else is of their own free will and icing on the Christmas cookie. Sigh. My brother braved the aftermath today and advised I stay in until Sunday. Guess I will heed his advice. My favorite pizzaria is back in business, so that should tide me over.Which leaves a heap of stuff for me to finish up on Sunday. But there it is.

***

FYI: The week of Christmas (between 12/26 and 1/1) I will be featuring holiday pricing on calls. But feel free to call anytime you see me around before then.

***

And in case you’re wondering how the angel atop the Christmas tree became a tradition:

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out.  Mrs. Claus was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Mrs.Claus was all up in his face and wouldn’t let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sleigh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatened, “The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!”

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa’s house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, “Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?”

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

***
Now it’s back to wrapping and curling ribbon for me.

xo, Angela