As I noted earlier:

Specializing in Fetish/Kink/FemDom — Fantasy Phone Sex, I have to admit that Mr. Vanilla is not my typical client.

Despite the above statement, Mr. Vanilla has now joined that ever-evolving elite group here at Zen Fetish, my highly-coveted Savant Collection. Think of him as a unicorn among thoroughbreds, The Thing amidst the Fantastic Four, or even a highly-evolved republican among democrats. Because he is all of this and much more. Grouse if you will — Mr. Vanilla is highly regarded by this webmistress and is here to stay.

So…I finally got around to sitting down with Mr. V for the promised interview. And guess what? He was quite the slippery one. Just see for yourself:

Angela: Well, Mr. Vanilla, people seem interested in meeting you.

Vanilla Savant: Really? I’m not quite sure why. But I’m happy to work with you on an interview.

Since I kinda-sorta sprung it on you, I’m certainly glad you’re gracious enough to go along with this. Let’s start with the basics. How old are you?

Middle-aged.

(pssst: See how non-specific he is? Politely so, of course.)

Mmmm. I do like my men seasoned just so. Older men are so much better to train. Er, I meant, to play with.

Of course that’s what you meant, my love.

(pssst: See how gracious he is? Always the gentleman.)

What are your politics?

Middle-of-the-road.

Dearest Mr. Savant, we’ve had many political — shall we call them — volleys? A discussion of your politics requires more than four words, dontcha think? At least give me a sentence.

Okay. I will admit to being registered Republican, but with (at times) strong Democratic or at least Liberal leanings.

Are you wealthy?

Middle-class.

What a crock! If you are middle class, then I am Food Stamp Fannie hanging out at the soup kitchen. Try again.

Maybe some would consider me wealthy. But there are certainly many others with much more than me.

Not that many others. I’ll let it slide for now. But just you wait ’til I get you on the phone again. I am going to make you do something very naughty!

You tease me so deliciously, Miss St. Lawrence. I can hardly wait. Perhaps we should stop this interview now and have a little phone dalliance?

Not so fast, Buster. Inquiring minds are hanging on our every word! We have a responsibility to the Zen audience.

Of course. What was I thinking? Fire away.

Ok, Mr. Smarty Pants. What is your favorite sexual position?

There’s more than one?

I think you’re teasing me and the Zen readers.

Maybe a bit. But then, you were teasing me. What would you like to know?

Tell us the basics about yourself.

Married. Grown kids. A lawyer. I retired a few years ago and have been having fun exploring new careers in teaching and professional research.

And what, pray tell, brought you to me?

I was just web-cruising one night and found your website, Literate Smut. It was so different than other “phone sex” sites I’d seen: Sophisticated, creative. I was intrigued. Who was the woman behind all of this? So I listened to one of your audio recordings. Very sexy! I left you a five star review, to which you sent a very nice Thank You with an invitation to talk. As I recall, I was a bit nervous.

And then what did you do?

Before making an actual direct call, I decided to listen to another of your recordings. As both of us know and will never forget, I reviewed it with four stars which I thought was pretty good.

Did I agree with you? Did I think four stars was pretty good?

You certainly didn’t and had no problem telling me so. You came at me with a furious email. I was really surprised. My first experience of submissiveness in your presence, I guess.

Did I scare you?

Actually, you did. At least a little bit. But I did email you back with my reasoning.

I remember. You were very polite about the whole thing. And then we started talking. On the Phone, Finally!

Yes. And I got to know what a wonderful conversationalist and companion you are. So for a few years now, we’ve been chatting.

Chatting about …?

Your life. My life. Movies. Politics. What do friends talk about? Or, in the case of politics, what do friends argue about? Literature. Your poetry, which I think is incredible.

(pssst: He thinks my poetry is incredible!)

No phone sex?

Of course there is phone sex. Delicious phone sex. And you really have expanded my horizons quite a bit, which has been exciting and, well, a lot of fun, too. What impresses me is your ability to listen, to build a fantasy around where I am, but to take it just a bit further than I might have suggested, so that I feel totally safe but thrilled by being in new territory. That’s a gift to me every time.

Beloved Savant, your ability to go with me wherever I take you has been your gift to both of us. I have loved and continue to love ever minute of it. But what about other PSOs? Have you ever called any other PSOs?

There are only two occasions when this has happened. The first time was when we were still getting to know each other. You urged me to try others. I think your exact words were, “If you can’t cheat with phonesex, that’s pretty sad.” So I did. But I ran back to you quickly. The experience was horrid. I told you then that it was the best PR you could have given yourself.

I remember that. You were pretty funny. But, in defense of other PSOs, you really didn’t try that hard. What is the second occasion?

When you’ve asked me to help out a friend of yours. Which is typical of your generosity, Angie. You really look out for your peers. It is amazing. Other than that, I really haven’t. I’ve been so satisfied with our calls that there hasn’t been any reason to try to meet someone else.

You show up (under your online name) at this blog quite often. Why do you spend time here?

In a way, it lets me continue the conversation when you and I aren’t on the phone together. Plus Zen Fetish is turning out to be pretty interesting reading; I love the variety of things that you post, and I’m beginning to appreciate your other fans. They always have something intelligent and interesting to say. I’m sometimes a bit jealous of their special relationships with you, of course, but I also have come to respect them. They all show great taste in women, for example!

(pssst: See how charming he is?)

Have you any suggestions for other “fans?”

I think your clients end up being a self-selecting bunch. Someone really crass or rude probably won’t appreciate your subtlety or intelligence and will move on. So your regulars don’t need any advice from me. Except, maybe, not to leave a four-star review!

Any requests of me?

Do I have to be “Mr. Vanilla” forever?

Ah, Mr. V, you’re such a cute savant. Just stay the way that you are. I promise to take you out to play (on the wrong side of the tracks — where the wild things are) lots and lots. Besides, you’re so cute when you squirm.

If you say so. I will trust you. You’ve never let me down yet.

Ok, before we end this, you know I am linking to a charity with each entry throughout the holidays. I want you and our readers to know that today’s charity is First Book. Do you want to tell the readers why?

Wow! Well, I guess it’s because I donated to this charity in memory of your brother, because you and I both so deeply believe in the importance of books and reading and writing.

Yes. It is a lovely charity. Thank you.

And now, my Vanilla Savant, let’s see if our readers have any questions for you, shall we?

Oh no!

Oh, yes!

***

…or on the Edge of Vanilla.

One and the same, kinda-maybe-sorta?

I love, adore, worship, fantasize about, treasure, relish, celebrate all things kink. In proper measure, that is. So many ways to be sexy, to turn others and ourselves on…why get fetished out? Because being fetished out is an addictive behavior, don’t ya know? And it robs us and those we love of so many experiences waiting to be shared.

I am thinking along these lines for three very specific reasons. Let’s look at them individually, shall we?

Submissive Savant: A Well-Balanced Slave-Type

I know I speak of Richard quite often, but I’m like that with my friends. So quit your griping and deal with it already! Richard, as you should know by now is in love with and loved by his provacative/kissable Goddess Alexandra. He does have and knows that he has the best of both worlds: the lazy intimacy of connected spirits and the edgy heat of kink and fetish play. I like this guy’s style. I like it a lot. We should all be so lucky to have it all, and know to appreciate it.

So it seems Richard decided to make a list. A very special list. Because even the most balanced of us need to sometimes wallow in the kinkier strains of our multifaceted selves. Titled Ten Best Things About BDSM, Richard’s list (which includes –gawd, I love this guy– peace and self-knowledge) is presented as a meme (project) in which we kinkster-blogger types are welcome to participate. I am contemplating a few lists along these lines. Probably should have one up tomorrow. That oughta wet your wicked little whistles.

Vanilla Savant: My Teacher and Student

Specializing in Fetish/Kink/FemDom Fantasy Phone Sex, I have to admit that Mr. Vanilla is not my typical client. But he showed up and stuck around, despite my giving him a tongue lashing (because I’m a big baby sometimes) via email before we’d even spoken on the phone. I feel pretty darn lucky that he chivalrously chose to ignore my brattiness and give me a chance, because I’ve benefited much from what has turned into a deep friendship of mutual affection and appreciation.

Mr. Vanilla was and still is, well, vanilla at heart. But what’s so wrong with that? After all, it’s how homes are built, babies are made, families are grown. And he has done all of that and done it well. He teaches me every day about decency, honesty, doing the right thing.

I –or somebody like me– was a secondary thought in Mr. Vanilla’s life. A choice he made due to the unfair choices of others. At least I think that is a good way to put it.

But once he arrived, I began ever-so-slowly to introduce him to “kink around the edges.” And guess what? He likes it. He likes it a lot. And he really likes me. And no — absolutely not! I will not tell you about our personally shared kink. That is his to keep forever. And it is mine to keep safe for him forever.

And guess what else? I really like him. In fact, as he is now officially a part of my Savant Collection, I think I will introduce him to you (if he’ll let me…I haven’t asked yet) in an up and coming entry. Stay tuned for The Vanilla Savant Interview.

Balancing Act: Va-Kink-Nilla

So I made a new friend today, a most interesting one. I’d been catching his comments on Richard’s blog (see above), signed Tom Allen, which linked to his blog. Impressed by what he had to say, I checked him out with my most insightful Submissive Savant. “One of the Good Guys,” Richard said. And that was good enough for me.

Surreptitiously reading Tom’s blog and paying attention to (and usually agreeing with) the things he has to say for more than a few days now, I’ve come to the most delightful conclusion that he and I have, in fact, much in common.

I should have known. After all, he named his blog, The Edge of Vanilla. Which is where I am most of the time. FemDom for fun and games and fantasy play, but mostly creamy vanilla in the center. I just like room to stretch when the mood strikes me…which seems to be what Tom is aiming for.

So I finally took the plunge and posted a comment at his blog yesterday. And guess what? He knew who I was. Just blew me away, let me tell ya. So I’ve listed him under Hot Blog over to the right. Visit him often. He has lots to learn and lots to teach. They’re always the most fun people to be around, don’t ya think?

~Angela

Angelaphabet 2.1  ~  Random Acts of Naughty

Alexandra the Beautiful
Boyfriend Speak (She loves him, don’t ya know?)
Cute, Cuddly and Stern Madame
Democrat Goddess Bringing out the Whips
Egyptian Fellatio
Free Audio from KinkRadi-Oh
Get Your Erotic Site Listed
Hypnosis MP3s from Lovely Isabella
Incest, Kinda-Sorta
Janet Reno, Redux (This guy is pissed…and very funny.)
Klown Kink
Lingerie Haiku, by Michelle
Milking: And so it Begins
Naked Lunch on Trial
Oh … No You don’t! (Cock control: It’s a good thing.)
Pimped Out by Domina Dorothy
Quick Study: “Don’t Throttle Mistresses”
Richard Knows
Sex Sells
Transexual Reality from the Heart (God bless Will.)
Utterly Awesome Phone Sex
Video of the Absurd (What’s love got to do with it?)
Watersports, Buggery, Bestiality and More
X-Rated Cuckold Closet (Note the quote at the top.)
You Know Miss Karen (But I ain’t tellin’ how.)
Zen Porn for Queers

Today we finish up Richard’s piece which he’s so generously shared with Zen Fetish.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to read Part I and Part II before continuing. It’s been interesting reading commentary/reaction to the first two parts, which seems to reflect a bit of confusion regarding Richard’s purpose in writing this bit of “specualtive D/s Fiction.”

But it really isn’t that complicated. As Richard explains (click link to read more): “I wrote it many years ago to give dominant women that I met online a picture of my perception of Femdom relationships.” Anyway, let’s see how this “Imaginary Femdom Encounter” turns out:

Fantasy Mistress: Part III

As I went up the walkway I wondered how she’d test me today. And what the tests proved. And when they’d end. We actually exchanged a fair amount of email before she’d agreed to see me. We shared complimentary appetites: she like to do to men what I wanted done to me (or at least I thought: since I’d never done any of it I didn’t really know).

The door opened for the third time.

“Go to the back yard and wait for me.”

As I did so I wondered if she was going to have me mow or lawn. The fear of something like that dampened my enthusiasm but I couldn’t bring myself to stop now.

She walked out. Dressed in a pullover top, cut-off jeans, and cheap rubber sandals, “flip flops” my mother used to call them. She’d always been dressed casually before but I’d been too hyped up to really notice the actual clothes.

She went over to a pick-nick table made of greenish wood.

“Sit here. Put your right hand’s palm down on the table.”

As I complied I noticed a wooden ruler in her hand.

“You are to keep your hand flat. I’m going to give you ten strokes. If that is too much for you leave and don’t come back.”

I barely had time to steel myself before the first slap hit. But it wasn’t that bad. At first. By the fifth stroke it really stung. My fingers felt like I might not be doing much with them tomorrow but it was almost over. I thought. An eleventh stroke hit me. A twelfth. With the thirteenth she turned the ruler so the edge cut into my fingers.

I yanked my hand away.

When I realized what I’d done I wanted to cry. I’d failed and would have to leave. But when I looked at her she looked pretty pleased.

“Don’t worry, you weren’t supposed to be able to take the last one. Once you got past the first ten you’d passed the test. The others were to teach you that no matter what I say I’m going to do I can still do whatever I want.”

“You have one last test. Come with me.” Shortly we were back in the room whose corner I’d knelt in. This time there was a big wicker plantation style chain in the center. She sat in it.

“Come here, may kneel in front of me. Remember you still aren’t to speak.”

So excited I was trembling I did.

“You have no idea how many men want to be where you are now. But they don’t really want it badly enough. They don’t really want to serve.

“The first day you proved you were willing to work for you place in my service. Yesterday you showed enough determination to withstand boredom which was a much harder test. Today you had your first taste of pain. I like hurting men. If you hadn’t been able to take it you wouldn’t be suitable for me. This is your last test.

“You won’t think it hard when I tell you but it will take all of your willingness work work and to keep on even if you get bored or tired.

“I am very, very slow to orgasm. Your last test is to satisfy me with your tongue. You probably think this is a big treat.” She was right about that.

“But it will take longer than you think. If you manage it we’ll do all the things we wrote to each other about. Otherwise, you won’t have made the grade.”

Standing up she pulled off her top and dropped her shorts. She sat back down. Gesturing at her cunt she said “Get to work, slave.”

She was right. It was long. It was wonderful at first. Then it took all my determination to keep going. At the end it was wonderful again. And then I was hers.

***

What this story says to me more than anything is that Richard is most definitely not a wannabe sub. He is the REAL DEAL. And it also tells me that he is truly deserving of the title, Submissive Savant.

In the very near future I will be featuring another “fantasy” penned by Richard. A bit different than this one. Quite intriguing and of interest to more than a few of my callers and readers.

xo, Angela

By Richard,

Submissive Savant to the Stars (er, one Super Nova).

Read Part I

My First Mistress: Part II

She opened the door and put her fingers to her lips to indicate that I wasn’t to speak.

“Follow me.”

We went through mildly snazzy but pretty conventional living room to a side room that I suspected had been a breakfast room. It was completely empty.

She looked me in the eye and I felt a mild shiver pass up my spine.

“Go in the corner,” she pointed, “and get on your knees facing the corner and keep your hands at your sides.”

I complied getting very exciting wonder what she was going to do to me.

“You will stay there until told otherwise. Keep your eyes facing the corner, your arms where they are and your mouth shut. If you decide to stop before told you just leave the house and do not come back.”

I heard her leave the room.

A few minutes passed. Then several. Then I couldn’t guess how long I’d been there. Minutes started to seem awfully long. Sometimes I thought I saw the wall move. My knees were hurting and my ankles were sore.

I started to get mad. This was awfully boring. But I didn’t dare move. I’d hungered to be trained for a long time and she was the first who ever offered to do so.

I might as well have been chained there even if the chains were only in my mind and of my own making.

Finally after an eternity that I later was told was only 90 minutes she was back in the room.

“Get up and face me.” I almost fell and legs were wobbly but I was up in a flash.

Her expression was unreadable. It couldn’t decide if she looked grim, amused or maybe even mildly approving.

“Go but you may come back tomorrow at the same time.”

I left softly shutting her front door.

I’d washed her car. I’d been bored almost to tears. None of it had been even faintly erotic. I could not guess what tomorrow would bring. But looking inside myself I knew that having been forced to conform to another’s arbitrary commands had given me some satisfaction.

But I did wonder how many more tests I’d have to pass.

***

Now this is starting to get interesting, dontcha think? I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Stay tuned for Part III.

Oh. FYI: Richard has yet another up & coming website breaching the waters of WebTopia: BDSM Reference. While still in its embryonic stage, I do believe it will grow up to be quite an interesting addition to the BDSM community. And remember, folks. You heard it here first.

xo, Angela