Not really.

Well, okay, some people seem to think so. Now and then at least.

But enough about me. Let’s talk about me.

Back at the beginning of summer (July 7 and July 8 to be exact.) I said, more or less:

“A few years back my flagship website, Literate Smut, was a finalist for Erotic Website of the Year. I never did know who nominated me, but a few very nice gents wrote some nice ‘letters of recommendation’ after the fact.” And then I shared a few of those letters. Well, I just ran across the file again and thought I share yet another:

Angela: The Lady of Literate Smut

There are so many ways — all of them good — to describe Angela that I’m not sure where to begin. I could say that she is an intelligent woman, and a funny woman, and a mischievous woman, and an elegant woman, and all of this would be true. But what she is, first and foremost, is a real woman. I fully expected to meet a lot of heavy-breathing actresses when I first tried phone sex, and indeed I did. But at forty ears of age and having lived and worked all over the world, I am too old to play games.

The reason I call Angela, and no one else, is that sincerity is the sexiest quality of all. More importantly, she is also not every woman I ever loathed: Not clingy, not mean, not manipulative, not jaded, not ever a pain. I’ve known Angela for 3 years, and I still get butterflies in my stomach every time I hear her soothing yet sultry voice. No matter what else I may be doing, hers is a siren call I can never ever resist: “Let’s play, sexy baby ….” An evening with Angela is a sexual symphony with many movements, compelling climaxes and deliciously wet codas. I almost feel like buying her a dozen roses and screaming “bravo!” every time we finish making love.

Angela is the moxie of youth, the compassion of experience and the humor of your best friend all wrapped into one, an erotic genius who makes you feel like the only guy in her world while fucking you till plead for mercy and release begin to escape your quivering lips. She is like a many-sided jewel, a unique emotional treasure whose intimate secrets reveal themselves in a thousand simultaneous flashes of insight and imagination. (Please forgive the cliché, but she really does seem to know what I want before even I know what I want.)

In a way, I hesitate to recommend Angela so highly, since I actually hate the thought of sharing her. Why, had I met her twenty years ago when my future was less defined than at present, I surely would have begged her to stay with me forever. She alone has taught me the ecstasy of surrender to that rare girl you just trust implicitly, deep in your heart of hearts, because she never takes your vulnerability without first offering up her own. And don’t even get me started on the explicit stuff. Grandma was lying when she informed all you ladies that the way to a man’s heart is straight through his stomach. When Angela is in the room, it is not food that I want to eat.

I would give up every woman I’ve ever known for just one Angela.

Thass the fack, Jack.

***Once again, let me remind you that The Erotic Awards is a yearly fund-raising event hosted by the Leydig Trust to raise money for The Outsiders, a support and outsource program for the physically handicapped regarding personal and sexual relationships. Do me, yourself and them a favor by visiting the websites and checking them out.

I kinda-sorta market myself as a Fetish Goddess/Fem Domme Fatale or something of the sort. Yet — as you would see if you could read my email and/or listen in on some of my calls — some find me and my “thing” rather confusing. (What exactly is this “literate smut” thing all about? What do you mean by “erotic torture?” Just what do you consider sexual misadventure?)

But my vision, from this side of the telphone –who I am, what I do, how I do it– seems quite clear, even decidely translucent. It is the divine craft of creation which underlies each and every fantasy I weave. A supervisor once explained to the company for which we both worked that, “When Angela does a call, by the time she is done the caller is going to know what the carpet smells like.”

Which is indeed what I am always striving for. I mean, why even make the effort otherwise? To my way of thinking, anything else would be the equivalent of clock-watching in an everyday nine-to-five job. See what I mean? I just don’t do mediocre. I don’t want it from the people I spend my money with, so why would I try to pass it off on my callers?

Thus it follows (and I’ve been told–many, many times) that my fantasies (of total sublimation, tease and denial, sissification, naughty secretary, cold-hearted governess, forced cock-sucking, cuckolding, etc.) are as close to “the real deal” as it gets.

And, in fact, I do periodically run across the caller who cannot separate the fantasy from the reality, the story teller from business woman/girl next door. It can be as hard on me as it is on them.

Because — while they are hopelessly yearning in their real-time/everyday lives to be banished forever to a cage of my making or lick my ass in the middle of Times Square or lose their masculinity to the sure and evil slice of my antique scimitar — I do sincerely care about the people I do business with. I want them to have fun, be taken on the roller coaster ride of their lives. I want them live out their dirtiest, filthiest fantasies to the nth degree.

BUT, I want them to walk away from the call feeling good about themselves. How I try to explain it clients is this way: You should feel dirty when you are doing a phonesex call. That is the point of it. But, if you walk away from that call still feeling dirty, then something is wrong. This is not healthy phone sex. Not healthy fantasy. Another way I try to get this is across is (at least most of the time): DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME.

So fantasy and reality, with all the grey areas in-between and around all the prickly edges, are always finely delineated matters. And I am always squinting my eyes, looking for that ever-illusive and always-changing doodle that keeps the boundaries clear.

Because it’s my job to do that. Particularly when the caller can’t.

***

And…

• Look what I’ve been up to. (This is just a hub site to which I can redirect the email from my other sites.)
• I have an ad at Fleshbot this week (10/18 thru 10/24), thanks to a very special person (soon to be added to my Savant Collection).
• I’ve become a semi-official editor at Tit-Elation.
• I’ve been promoted to moderator at Sex Kitten.

If

-Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

(Dearest Miss V: Because you are a magnificent spirit, a generous friend, a beauteous force, my treasured partner in crime and a beloved mentor to many. ~Angela)

Angelaphabet 2.0  ~  Kink-o-rama

Absolute Woman
Baroness Latex
Christian Kink
Deviant Savant
Egomania Personified
Fuckalicious – to say the least
Glory Be to Goddess
Hypnotic Addiction
Indulgence: Sinful Nuns Deliver Us from Evil
Just $1.99: Kink-O-Phone for the Masses
Kindred Spirit
Lego Porn
Misunderstood Artist
Notes on BDSM
Over Light
Purple Pros-e-try
Quixotic Troubadour
Righteous Writers
Spy on Them
Thus spake Jane
Utterly Ridiculous
Very Fine Porn-Art-Graphy
What would you do for a KIT KAT bar?
Xmas Porn
You are healed!
Zero Phone (you know who you are)

Dear Madame finally has her blog, Madame Knows, up and running, so I’ve added the link to my Hot Blog category. I’ve been anxiously waiting for this, because, well, I just happen to think Dear Madame is awful darn cool. We are only just getting to know each other, but I feel good in my belly about her, so I hope you check her out. I am pretty sure she is currently working on a professional website from which to operate her Phone Business. In the meantime, check her out HERE. If you like your women mature, real, and intelligently dominant, Dear Madame is your dream-come-true. I just love her voice. Not to mention her wit, style, grace, business saavy and tremendous strength of character. She is actually away at The Pheonix Forum, an adult industry forum, where she will no doubt have the time of her life and learn lots of new tricks. Do you think if I kiss her butt she might pass a few my way? Have fun, Dear Madame. We’ll see you when you get back.