 | Hodge Podge at the Phone Sex Lodge |
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Catholic Humor: Thanks to my sister.
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards… The man, who was a priest, said "I am a Father." The little boy replied "My Dad doesn’t wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many." The boy said "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way." The priest, getting impatient, said "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.
TOP TEN BUSHISMS: Thanks to PQS and via Slate’s Jacob Weisberg (where there are a total of 25)
1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000
3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters’ questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001
6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001
7. "I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006
8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005
9. "I’ve heard he’s been called Bush’s poodle. He’s bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007
10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008
Obama is a Cool Cat: so says Christopher Hitchens
"Our new president’s charm is not merely superficial. It is compounded of two qualities that are distinctly rare in the political class: an apparently very deep internal equanimity, and an ability to employ irony at his own expense. Obama, one can tell, would not have been devastated if he had lost the contest for the White House. Nor was he ready to do or say absolutely anything to win it."
Short and Not So Sweet Sex Poem: By A. R. Ammons (thanks, PQS)
THEIR SEX LIFE
One failure on
Top of another
Something to Think About:
"The tragedy of war is that it uses man’s best to do man’s worst." ~Harry Emerson Fosdick
What Happens in Vegas Plays in Vegas: (Thanks, Vanilla Savant)
Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips!
THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS. NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.
SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS. THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS. *wink*
Phone Sex Quote of the Day: From Spike Lee’s Girl 6
Scary Caller # 30: "How can a slut be beautiful? The Mona Lisa is beautiful, the Statue of Liberty is beautiful, the Grand Canyon, the first day of spring, a new fallen snow-that’s beauty, but a slut is just slutty, right?"
xo, Angela
groan. (that’s intended for Vanilla Savant.) groan.
Actually, how could a truly beautiful woman ever be thought of as a slut?
And on the other hand, Puzzler, just why is it that a slut can’t be thought of as beautiful?
Indeed, she can be!
This from the Online Etymological Dictionary at
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=slut
“slut”
1402, “a dirty, slovenly, or untidy woman,” probably cognate with dialectal Ger. Schlutt “slovenly woman,” dialectal Swed. slata “idle woman, slut,” and Du. slodder “slut,” but the ultimate origin is doubtful. Chaucer uses sluttish (c.1386) in ref. to the appearance of an untidy man. Also “a kitchen maid, a drudge” (c.1450; hard pieces in a bread loaf from imperfect kneading were called slut’s pennies, 18c.). Meaning “woman of loose character, bold hussy” is attested from c.1450; playful use of the word, without implication of loose morals, is attested from 1664.
“Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut, and pleases us mightily.” [Pepys, diary, Feb. 21, 1664]
Sometimes used 19c. as a euphemism for bitch to describe a female dog. There is a group of North Sea Gmc. words in sl- that mean “sloppy,” and also “slovenly woman,” and that tend to evolve toward “woman of loose morals” (cf. slattern, also Eng. dial. slummock “a dirty, untidy, or slovenly person,” 1861; M.Du. slore “a sluttish woman”).
Guilty as charged … on all counts. At least sporadically and depending on my current mood.
Nice mixed bag of semiprecious gems from the most precious of gems.