 | Meditation on Wickedness |
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Wickedness.
That’s a word I never get quite right…a word that describes the things I want to play with.
It’s not about the pain for me so much anymore, though that’s not to say I don’t still enjoy it.
Physical pain is…too sharp. The thuddiest club does not penetrate the way a wicked word or gesture will.
Just now I was in the bath and started thinking about what I would do if I had to pee. Well, I’ve been in the bath and had to pee before, and I just hold it until I have to go pee, or go right away and get back to the bath. Tonight, though, I was thinking about being made to pee on myself in the tub like that.
Then I started thinking about you peeing on me in the tub like that.
Then I started thinking about my being tied in the tub with my hands criss-crossed across my throat to the back of my neck, my elbows tied up straight so that my head was locked straight up and down. Through that imagining I realized I could squeeze my elbows out, which would have the dual benefits of forcing my mouth up where it could easily be opened and closed while contracting my carotid arteries, making my dizzy and more vulnerable.
My entire body would be exposed then and I imagined being that way for an hour or so at a party while folks came in and did as they pleased, not really talking to me, other than to occasionally mock me.
I wish my will matched my wickedness, so these could be true.
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Shared with me by one of the wicked-craving boys I know. He can’t get enough. He craves bottomless, dark debasement with no escape. Yet he moves through the world as a gentleman, a scholar, a husband, a family member, a teacher … all roles he cherishes and thrives in.
It’s the endless predicament of kinksters, isn’t it?
I totally get that thought process. I find myself examining every moment for its potential play scenarios. Love this vision in the tub! Love that you have these wicked boys in your life to share things like this!
I think I’d wait until I was stepping out and then I’d just let go.
Luckily for the wickedly kinky there is an amazing guide like Ms Angela
Only Ms. Angela come up with something both hot and scary at the same time!
Seems like a good plot for a horror movie. I’ll bring the popcorn if Angela stars in it.
Ah, the many facets of the human psyche. If balanced, we really can be quite good at many things, including being bad with Angela.