 | More Dirty Latin Poetry |
 | |
Catullus: Carmen 16
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est;
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
Which one scholar translates thusly:
I’ll fuck you up the ass, and you can blow me,
you cocksucker Aurelius and you faggot Furius,
for suggesting that my little verses
are effeminate and not pure enough.
A good poet should be virtuous,
but his verses don’t need to be.
Who cares if verses that have spice and wit
are soft and not very pure?
They can also get you going.
I’m not talking to boys here, but to two hairy men
who can’t even move their creaky old loins.
Are you two putting me down
just because you’ve read about my thousands of kisses?
Fuck you both. You can blow me.
___________________________________________________________
Tis the season and all that jazz. What could be more festive than some lyrical obscenity from a Roman poet? After all … those ancient Romans knew how to throw a party, didn’t they? Think Crucifixion. Need I say more?
Details & linkage at my previous post: Dirty Latin Poetry
I can write a fairly dirty (and downright hot and sexy) poem myself. Have you read cunt is your drug?
xo, Angela
ps. Did you notice my snowflakes? Pretty nice, huh?
Mirabile dictu! Et femina mirabila! Gratia plena.
Great find! Hooray for Catullus! That’s the way a poet should deal with his critics! Put their names in a new poem, tell them why they’re wrong in it, and then tell them to kiss your ass.
I also enjoyed another lesson from this poem — that human nature hasn’t changed much in the last 2000 years. There’s still an inherent tension between the creator and his critics.
So thanks for the great laugh this poem gave me. (I especially loved Catullus’ references to his critics as “cocksucker Aulius” and “faggot Furius”). I’m copying this poem and the translation you provided. I intend to show this to a few of my friends at my next Christmas party!
Who says Latin is a dead language?
Catullus was quite the rascal. And you’re quite the Frisky One. Which is why we love you and your blog.
Happy Holidays to you and the Zen gang.
I was wondering where the “thousand kisses” reference came from in the Catullus poem you posted above. So I “googled” and voila! I found this other beautiful poem of his. It reminded me a lot like your “Someday” poem — found here –>,
https://www.zenfetish.com/2006/10/03/someday/
which I’ve always thought was one of the best ones you ever wrote. Anyway, here’s the Catullus poem I found:
Catullus 5
Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum seueriorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis.
soles occidere et redire possunt:
nobis cum semel occidit breuis lux,
nox est perpetua una dormienda.
da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
aut ne quis malus inuidere possit,
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.
Let us live, my Lesbia, and love.
As for all the rumors of those stern old men,
Let us value them at a mere penny.
Suns may set and yet rise again, but
For us, with our brief light, they can set but once.
The night which falls is one never-ending sleep.
So give me a thousand kisses now, then a hundred.
Then, another thousand, and a second hundred.
Then, yet another thousand, and a hundred.
Then, when we have counted up many thousands,
Let us shake the abacus, so that no one may know their number,
And become jealous when they see
How many kisses it is that we have shared.
Happy, happy holidays to all of the zen fetish readers and to our favorite piece on earth!