They are way too long and the “pink” in the pink and white (French nails) is way too pink. But I can still type!  Did I hear someone groan?

It all started because, as usual, I got peeved at someone. This time, unfortunately, that person happened to be my (until then) favorite manicurist. Maybe she was having a bad day or a fight with her boyfriend. Whatever the problem, her attitude sucked. So since then I’ve been trying out different salons.

The problem is that unless I want to drive a rather long distance, most of the salons are owned and populated by Asian manicurists. Asian manicurists who don’t speak English very well. So it’s kinda-sorta hard to make clear to them exactly what I want. As was the case today. One of my best friends is Asian (with straight hair down to her ass…she is gorgeous) and she speaks perfectly good English.

And another problem is we all have our idea of “the perfect manicure.” Although you boys might not know this, manicures can include or exclude certain steps. Or the steps might be executed differently. For example, while I prefer my nails to be buffed to a gloss, some salons opt to use a clear top coat instead. Some salons massage cuticle oil into your cuticles, others skip that step. And one manicurist’s definition of “rounded square”–also called squoval, believe it or not–and another manicurist’s definition can vary quite a bit. Which means I often come home from a trip to the nail salon and refile my nails. Sigh….

But there is good news. I also had a pedicure and got my legs waxed, and she did an absolutely fabulous job. Although communication was rough, I have to say she was very conscientious and professional. So maybe I might just give her one more try. Even with the fingernails, she did get the squoval part right.  I will probably keep these for about a week (usually it’s two), just so I can vamp it up for a while.

Actually, I went for flue and pneumonia shots afterwards…and the Doctor (wearing a very colorful Sesame Street tie) told me that he really liked my nails. Hmmm…. Maybe my new manicurist knows better than me.

Come to think of it, they’d look really hot holding a Virginia Slim. Only I quit smoking, so that’s not an option.

Of course, masturbation might be a problem. Ouch!

xo, Angela

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 24th, 2007 at 11:38 pm and is filed under KinKergarten, Rhetorically Yours. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.