 | No More Mr. Bad Guys |
 | |
Once upon a time, when I was a wee good little Catholic school girl, my mother brought a hooker home for Christmas. My much older and righteously-proper sister was quite chagrined that the neighbors might see and what would they think? I, on the other hand, was mesmerized by this most exotic woman in her red high heels, matching crimson lipstick and sparkling ruby-esque chandelier earrings. I didn’t understand that it was considered "naughty" to have a three-inch slit in your hip-hugging skirt. Or that this woman provided *gasp* sexual pleasures for cold hard cash in a small town where certainly none of our goodly & faithful men would pay for such things.
And guess what? This harlot, this strumpet, this Jezebel besmirching our Yuletide gathering was one of the kindest people — to this day — that I’ve ever met. She sat me on her luxurious lap and read to me from the new books Santa had left under the tree. While the other sister-approved guests (and family) drank their share of spiked eggnog and pretty much got wasted — isn’t that what Christmas is for? — Miss Tanya helped my mother in the kitchen, cleaned up the continuous mess left by sloppier and sloppier drinkers, gathered the crinkled and discarded gift wrap littering the floor, and eventually was the one to tuck me in to bed because my mother was quite simply exhausted.
I adored Miss Tanya. I still remember the scent of her perfumed bosom, when she leaned in to kiss me good night, telling me what a sweet little girl I was and brushing the bangs from my forehead.
So today is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers
From SWOP-USA:
This event was created to call attention to hate crimes committed against sex workers all over the globe. Originally thought of by Dr. Annie Sprinkle and started by the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA as a memorial and vigil for the victims of the Green River Killer in Seattle Washington. International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers has empowered workers from over cities around the world to come together and organize against discrimination and remember victims of violence. During the week of December 17th, sex worker rights organizations will be staging actions and vigils to raise awareness about violence that is commonly committed against sex workers. The assault, battery, rape and murder of sex workers must end. Existing laws prevent sex workers from reporting violence. The stigma and discrimination that is perpetuated by the prohibitionist laws has made violence against us acceptable. Please join with sex workers around the world and stand against criminalization and violence committed against prostitutes.
So why would I care? I mean, after all, this doesn’t really effect me now, does it? While I might be called a "sex worker," I certainly have it pretty easy, sitting here on my sweet little tush just whispering dirty little nothings into my phone … at more than arm’s length away from anyone who’d do me harm.
I care because every woman should care. And let’s get this straight: I am every woman. Talking Dirty is just a part of the whole me. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend. The same girl who straps you to a chair for a hot nasty tease or instructs you to worship her ass and bark like a dog or presents you naked to a group of her friends IN THE JOYOUS PURSUIT OF YOUR RIGHT TO ENJOY A KINKY FANTASY could be the same girl sitting beside you at a church, could be the same girl who gave your wife a ride when her car broke down, could be the same girl who sat with you in the ICU when your father was dying, could be the same girl taking her wheelchair-bound mother shopping at the mall, could be the same girl who …
And I care because, once upon a time, my mother did bring a hooker home for Christmas dinner. She brought home Miss Tanya. Miss Tanya, who — when I was in high school — was found dead in a car which had been set on fire, her body charred and also severely bruised, a wrist broken.
While there was (what I believe to be) a half-hearted attempt at an investigation, nobody was EVER arrested and charged. The whore deserved better. Beautiful Miss Tanya deserved so much better. Every woman deserves better.
The bad guy got away! No more Mr. Bad Guys, please?
xo, Angela
______________________________________
XXBN, Progressive Talk Radio Tonight (Dec. 17, 09)
Listen and Participate: HERE
In honor of International Day to end Violence against Sex Workers Jill and Ren discuss progress and set backs facing Sex Workers Rights Movements all over the world. From laws to social attitudes, allies to enemies, the personal to the political, a lot of change has happened in the last 365 days, so please join us and feel free to call in regarding this topic.
Angela’s passion is both contagious and heartfelt. It always seemed to me that prostitution should be legal for everyone’s sake. Your Miss Tanya would probably be alive today if she had worked in a legal brothel. Thank you for sharing this, Angela.
I’ll try to listen to XXBN tonight – after choir practice! – but I’m curious: is the current effort merely to raise awareness? Or is there an actual legislative agenda one could get behind? Just want to know how we can help; you are certainly right about the importance of the issue.
God bless you, dear Angela. You ARE every woman.
And a prayer for Miss Tanya.
This is a very moving entry – thank you for sharing it with us. I’m so sorry for what happened to her.
It’s a shame that while there have been a few recent regional efforts to legalize/decriminalize prostitution in the US, there have been recent successful regional efforts against it (the criminalization of indoor prostitution in Rhode Island – which I’m still hoping Rhode Islanders will push to undo). It’s strange and sick that what’s legal to do for love is illegal to do for money, and that violent criminals often receive more dignity.
Hooray for sex workers! I agree with everything you say. owever, the real question here is why your mom brought a hooker home for Christmas. I wish someone would do that for me. Perhaps the subject of another entry, I guess.
You know, its funny. Here in the U.S. we have such a strange attitude toward sex. We all do it, in some form or fashion, but it’s also always a sort of dicey thing to talk about it much or indulge in it outside the confines of marriage. I think most people see sex work as inevitable (it’s “the world’s oldest profession” etc. etc.), men being what they are, but as Sabrina says, putting a dollar value on it makes it either a crime or minimally, a big social taboo. How dumb. How hypocritical.
A thought. Wouldn’t it be nice if I could give a friend or loved one an Xmas phone sex gift certificate — say, 5 hot phone calls with Angela St. Lawrence, the Queen of Niteflirt’s “Anything Goes” category — without having to worry about being exposed to social ridicule or seen as a pervert or a pimp?
Very moving recount, Angela. In fact, I could somewhat relate, having known one or two locals in my area, who sold their bodies for whatever reason, that succumbed to a serial killer of prostitutes. Sad, very sad.
I would say, that while we are “more than an arms length away from anyone who would do me *us* harm”, I have heard of “stalkers” of phone sex operators, that have been successful in finding their “target” and inflicting harm, be it mental or physical, or both. This is a scary thought.
Anyway, before I ramble on and on, I am glad that you had such a warm relationship with Miss Tanya. Like herself, and you stated, we in the industry are mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts… and, like yourself, just damn good people that like to talk dirty and entertain.
Is there anything wrong with that? Selling our voices vs. our bodies? I think not. The latter should be as “legal” as the former.
Merry Christmas to you and your family. I hope your mom is well, and that you enjoy some good ole’ fashioned holiday fun with her!
xxx,
Lyndee
I wept at the end of your post. We could feel what a warm and caring woman Tanya was – and how shocking and undeserved her fate. Hmmm – ever think about writing, Ms. St.L? You do it so well in someone else’s cause – you should be doing it for your own.
I just don’t understand the mentality of a man who would injure his lover, Teach. Isn’t the whole point to feel close to someone? But I guess they are out there, so stay safe … please, please, please stay safe! (No need to worry about ME, of course ….) No- worry even about me – and stay safe.
That was your best post ever. I am in awe.
just great, as always.