Go directly to jail.

DO NOT PASS GO.

you, MY little sycophant worm, are totally fucked

$100 fine WILL BE PAID

and much PAIN will follow

[which is what happens when your greedy penis betrays your faux sincerity]

(yes, I’m pissed and yes, he deserves this)

xo, Angela

Miss Angela:

A tribute to you for just being you. Thank you for your guidance and for helping me become a better person. You have touched me like no other and I am forever grateful that you permit me to serve you. I am truly blessed to have you in my life.

I feel your presence always around me, which challenges me daily to be a better person and an obedient servant to your every wish, whim and desire.

Truly
Your Devoted Pet
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When I play with This Devoted Pet, there are so many buttons to push (check out the categories he fits into at bottom of post), it’s like playing a grand piano. So much fun for me and dizzying, obedient, responsive rapture for him. It’s a win/win … always.

In the fall of an American dream …

… YOU CANNOT CHANGE THIS.

Two-Headed Calf

by Laura Gilpin

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this
freak of nature, they will wrap his body
in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north
field with his mother. It is a perfect
summer evening: the moon rising over
the orchard, the wind in the grass. And
as he stares into the sky, there are
twice as many stars as usual.

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Apparently this poem has been around.
Apparently nobody told me.
Apparently a handful of poetry profs didn’t think to tell me.
Apparently I believe they were in great error.
Apparently I love. LOVE. ADORE. WORSHIP. this poem.
Apparently I am seriously crushing on Ms. Gilpin.
Apparently I will grieve forever & a day and to the moon & back.